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HERC Ponders His New BUFFY DVDs!!

I am – Hercules!!

And Hercules is terribly pleased with himself because his beautiful, red, six-disc, 22-episode “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” second-season DVD landed in his Mt. Olympus mailbox a day before its official June 11 street date.

You’d never know from the pricetag that “Buffy” is perhaps the finest TV series ever crafted.

Compare and contrast other DVD sets. Two episodes of the Kirk-Spock-McCoy “Star Trek” boasts a SRP of $19.99. Four hours of “Farscape” run something like $30-$40. The first seven installments of “Twin Peaks” (exclusive of the pilot) goes for $48-$60. A full season of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” can set you back $100-$140. 13 episodes of “The Prisoner” runs $130-$150.

How much is the Buffster’s entire 22-hour second season?

$43.92 via deepdiscountdvd.com (with free shipping)!

A few hastily-assembled notes:

Plan of attack. Being the big giant DVD-extra whore, Herc immediately zeroed in on series creator Joss Whedon’s witty and authoritative commentary track for “Innocence,” the extraordinary episode that picks up right after Buffy surrenders her virginity to a bloodthirsty beau. Our next step was to listen to Marti Noxon’s mammothly endearing two-episode discourse on “What’s My Line.” (Herc is saving the third commentary on the set, David Greenwalt’s verbal annotation of “Reptile Boy,” for a rainy day.) All commentaries were apparently recorded midway through “Buffy’s” fifth season.

The second season is hailed by legions as the series’ best, and a good part of its appeal is surely the way Team Whedon packed each installment with a dizzyingly array of fascinating characters and incidents.

“What’s My Line” featured a fretful career fair, unleashed an all-maggot assassin, introduced a second, Jamaican vampire-slayer, saw the first-ever Xander-Cordy smoochage, put Spike in a wheelchair, put Buffy on skates, introduced Willow to Oz, and nearly killed Angel twice – once via a sunlight-flooded cage, then again via mystical sacrifice. (Future Nerd of Doom Jonathan appears fleetingly, but has yet to be named; Danny Strong is identified in the closing credits only as “Student Hostage.”)

“Innocence” not only gives us our first extended look at the evil Angelus, it abruptly brings about the end of the Rupert-Jenny romance, boasts Willow’s horrified discovery of the Xander-Cordy love affair, depicts the moment Willow first fell for Oz, and climaxes with the exceedingly entertaining demise of the assembly-required uberdemon known as “The Judge.”

The big surprise is that many may enjoy Noxon’s commentary as much as Whedon’s. While the Josster continues to exhibit a penchant for pondering the biggest pictures – themes and subtext, character journeys and mission statements – Noxon’s perspective is less guarded and more fannish. It’s hard to resist the giggle-prone writer’s brainy, contageous enthusiasm as she serves as a de facto tour guide for the Santa Monica facilities she dubs “Buffyland.” She revels in pointing out how easily her parking lot can be transformed into a cemetery, which tombstone is made of cardboard and which crypt is comprised of styrofoam. She also notes that one of the show’s writers harbors an unlikely crush, and marvels at the pre-Columbine high-school gunplay that visited the first episodes she scripted.

We also discover, among other things, that: Noxon learned at least some of her ability to craft girl-fights as an avid fan of “Dynasty”; she routinely misremembers specific details about the first two episodes she authored; and, pre-“Buffy,” she wrote a play that starred Juliet Landau.

All this, or course, is old news to our Limey cousins, who have inexplicably had access to this fabulous DVD package since about 1978.

One consumer note: none of my season one or season two "Buffy" DVDs will play at all in my $300 Panasonic DVD-A120, but look terrific in my $60 Apex player.

Finally, as long as we're all here: fabulous Sarah Michelle Gellar, criminally underutilized in the largely miserable new “Scooby Doo” feature, turns up on Jules Asner’s E! chat hour “Revealed” 10 p.m. Wednesday.

I am – Hercules!!





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