Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Far as I can tell, this is the last big-ticket summer movie coming out this year. SIGNS hits this weekend, so the following weekend is all about the Vin. Looks like our spies are starting to get a look at the film all over the place now, and seem to be enjoying themselves for the most part.
This mixed review from Sean Bateman (I hear his brother is a total bastard) is probably the harshest of the bunch, and even he seems to have enjoyed himself:
Camden College’s very own Sean Bateman is back to tell you about XXX. I’m breaking my nondisclosure pact bandit style. There is a lot to talk about. First off, my general impression of the film as a whole. It’s not great, and it’s not terrible, it’s somewhere in between. Vin Diesel comes off great in the film. He is smooth and commands every scene he is in. He is a bad ass in this film. Samuel Jackson works well as the cliché authority figure with a twist. However, we never really find out anything interesting about him. We know he has third degree burns on his face from working the field, but we don’t know what that really ultimately means or how it happened. A very thin character to say the least. Asia Argento as Yalena, the love interest performs her role, but is nothing special. Finally, Marton Csokas as Yorgi is the standard James Bond bad guy hell bent on destroying the world.
The story itself goes something like this. Due to the incompetence of James Bond-ish mid-thirties agents not being “connected” to youth, the NSA’s missions begin to fail. Rogue youngsters are heading up crime, and the NSA needs another rogue youngster with an attitude to infiltrate the gang. In comes extreme sports guru Xander Cage, or Triple X. The back-story is fun and engaging. Standard James Bond bad guy then due to his poor treatment as a Russian soldier wants to release nerve gas on the world and cause total anarchy as revenge. The plot is cliché, but it works.
There are a lot of good things about the movie. The opening scene with the James Bond-ish agent is an interesting introduction to the movie and the NSA’s problems with the youth of the world. A really awesome touch is the movie has a high-octane James Bond score. The action scenes work well within the story. The best thing about this movie is its “popcorn movie” moments.
Now to the bad parts. This is an action-spy movie so I wasn’t expecting great acting or well-developed characters, so I won’t attack that aspect of the film. Okay, to begin with every stunt in the movie ties into extreme sports, which lends to unbelievable overkill of Xander Cage’s background. The movie is heavily doused with loud music. That’s okay when it lends to the atmosphere, but usually all it does is make it impossible to hear dialogue. The action scenes as a whole are fun, but too long. The biggest scene in the movie, the avalanche, would be great if the scene would have started with Xander causing the avalanche. However, there is about 5 minutes of just regular snowboarding before that happens. It’s ridiculous. Finally, for a movie touted as high-octane fun, the middle of the movie is slow and boring. They should cut off about 10 minutes at around the midpoint of the film.
So overall, XXX is a relatively fun movie experience. One little note though, the movie feels just like the 80’s film if “If Looks Could Kill.” That movie is better though. So, wait for the crowds to die down, and see the movie a few weeks into the release. Then go rent “If Looks Could Kill.”
A Greico fan, eh? coughyou’resuspectcough. This next guy keeps it pretty simple:
I won 2 tickets to an advanced screening here, and did not expect to see, feel, and just enjoy the pure living dog shit out of this movie. There were a few hick-ups with the sound, and 2 camera angle changes right at the beginning that looked strange, but free tickets, how can I complain. Dude Vin Diesel is the new Arnold period. The man has got it, and yes the ladies in the theater were all in need of fresh dry pair of panties after the movie, cause each time Vin showed a bit of beef cake, it sounded like a freaking rock concert right there in the theater.
Ok cutting to the chase here.
Harry!!! plain and simple, this movie is exactly what you think it is, and it is Vin Diesel unchained and cut completely loose, and done right. The action is right there, and right on beat, and the scenes and FX are well done, and look great. This movie is a must see, and establishes Vin Diesel as a kick ass leading action hero with no doubt.
I highly recommend this movie to any action fan, or woman who has recently had trouble with feminine dryness.
High praise, indeed. Finally, our last reviewer’s got a little love to throw:
Harry - Sometimes I hear a little too much hot air in the prerelease reviews, and it's not that they're lying, but sometimes just seeing a movie early makes you want to really love it. No offense, but some of this is because of reviews like Blade II, which had me thinking I was in for something I cold wring enjoyment out of. Instead, that movie was a total piece of shit. (though to be fair, I felt like Attack of the Clones was every bit the movie you said it was). So, I operate under the assumption that a glowing review has a lot to do with prerelease excitement, and I thought in the case of XXX, it's worth noting that this IS in fact a very bad ass movie. Reign of Fire, I'm sorry, wasn't a good movie. Eight Legged Freaks was boring. XXX is actually a completely cool flick, though it's not going to bounce any Arnie movies off your shelf (unless your shelf has Junior).
I personally am not into Vin Diesel, he strikes me as a bitch, and he's like 40, but no matter. In this film, if you aren't rooting for him, you're a retard. He sure thinks he's a lot cooler than he actually comes across, but it works. You just need to think of X as a formerly skinny bitch who got his ass beat enough on the motocross tracks as a kid that he decided to bulk up and insist he was tough guy (call it "The Vin Diesel Story). I don't know if Vin did some of his own stunts, or they had great doubles, but I never once had a problem believing he was doing everything in this movie (remember in Face/Off when they "bravely" showed the faces of the stuntmen? Yah, that was total shit, this is more careful and totally convincing).
And speaking of those stuntmen: Wow. I heard one died while filming, and not to be callous, but I bet that motherfucker would love this to be his swan song because there are some awesome stunts in here. I was feeling like dangerous stunts were gone now with CGI, but even the subtle ones in this film are breathtaking. I think it's REALLY worth noting the feel it gives the film. There are VERY few CGI scenes, at least that stick out. I believe that although it would have been expensive, this movie could have been made a decade ago, because there's so many practical effects and locations. This is a VERY good thing for my eyes, which simply pick up CGI too quickly these days (By thr way, are we getting sharper, or are animators overambitious?)
As for Asia Argento, I have to admit she was wasted. I want to bang her, but not bad enough to put up with her awful phony accent. And what's with no hot clothes and shit? Please, Rob Cohen, you did so much right with bringing back the 80's style action movie, don't screw it up by respecting women. Tits in the sequel. No, seriously, show some tits. C'mon, there's tits in Just One of the Guys, and that was PG-13. They showed Tenacious D's puppet penises on Crank Yankers, and they can't show us just one of Asia's milk bombs? Make them prosthetic if that's the issue, but what the hell is a good action movie that doesn't double as a spank aid?
To be honest, the only thing I thought sort of sucked was Sam Jackson. True, he is a BMF, but does anyone else feel like he has been phoning it in for a few years now? (I'm looking at you, Changing Lanes.) He distracted me in this, and served the same character that the Silence of the Lambs guy did in the Fast and the Furious. I just felt bored by him, and though he gets one good line off to Diesel hat implies he could fare better in a sequel, SLJ fans should not go to this movie expecting anything too cool.
One thing Cohen extends here is his use of lens filters to color certain scenes. He really stylizes and color treats in a specific way (which I'm convinced was half the reason for the Furious success). This was fun in that movie, but frankly awesome here, especially in the European settings. I'm sure those of you who have been to those places won't remember them looking quite so vibrant, but it's a good thing.
One qualm: Where the fuck is a real villian? What was the last fairly recent action movie with a cool villian? The fact that Dennis Hopper even entered your mind is a bad, bad sign (unless yuo were thinking of Blue Velvet). In XXX 2, don't be a pussy Cohen, give him a REAL enemy. Wouldn't you love to see Arnie facing off against Vin? Maybe end up as his father? Or even someone affordable and cheesy like Jon Voight? Give us some spice with the villians, if I'm gonna watch these movies 100 times I want to see a damn worthy villian.
So yes, go see this movie opening weekend, or don't see til DVD with friends. It's a fun crowd flick that works on the crowd, even journalists and know-it-all industry phonies. So don't feel guilty about making that cocky AARP-registered Diesel the action hero he wants to be, because though he may look like the buffed-up lovechild of Jimmy Durante and Scotty Schwartz, he has found himself in a kickass movie that perfectly complements his personality. Sneak some Coors into the movie with your buddies, go to a full showing, and have some shameless fun.
Call me BOOTYTWAPS
With a name like that, how can this guy be wrong?!
"Moriarty" out.
