Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
I’ve decided. I officially hate anyone who sees THE MATRIX RELOADED before I do. As I understand it, that’ll be pretty much all of the press. I plan to be very bitter.
In the meantime, Mr. Beaks chose to prolong the tease by talking to some of the people in the film. As he said to me before doing the interview, “What do you say to someone when you haven’t seen the film at all, and aren’t even sure who they’re playing, and they can’t talk about it, and... AND DEAR GOD, MAN, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO ASK THEM?! WHAT?! YOU TELL ME!!” He then sobbed incoherently into the phone for a while, until I finally hung up. As I understand, he was a little bit more composed when he finally spoke with them the next day:
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce Neil and Adrian Rayment. Never heard of them? Don’t worry. You’re going to be seeing [i]a lot[/i] of them throughout the summer, or as many times as you choose to see [i]The Matrix Reloaded[/i]. Yep, these relative unknowns from Blighty are “The Twins”. Or “The Virus Twins”. Or... well, just what the hell are these white-clad, dreadlocked bastards called? There’s got to be some cool title for these guys, right? After all, the Wachowski’s seem to specialize in conjuring pseudo-mythic monikers.
As per Neil: “Yeah, all these great names like ‘Morpheus’, ‘Neo’, ‘Trinity’ and ‘Niobe’... and you just thought, ‘Wow, what am I going to be called?’ And on the script it said ‘Twin One’ and ‘Twin Two’.”
Must’ve been a day of rest for the Wachowskis. However, the twins make up for their lack of titular flair with their sartorial decadence and transporting kung-fu mayhem. At least, they probably do. The thing is, I haven’t seen the movie. I’ve seen the latest trailer, sure, but not the movie. So, let’s ask Adrian. How do they fare in the context of the finished film?
“I’ve seen as much as you guys have seen.”
Goddamn. [i]Nobody’s[/i] seen this thing. It’s like [i]The Day the Clown Cried[/i] only I doubt even Harry Shearer’s seen [i]Reloaded[/i]. Okay, so they’ve not seen the movie. That’s fine. At least, they were [i]in[/i] it. Surely, there’s plenty they can spill.
Alas, they’re about as forthcoming as a CENTCOM briefing. When I give up after a few minutes of prodding, Neil just laughs and allows, “I’m well-practiced now. I know exactly where the Warner Bros. sniper is on the roof, and he’ll pop me off if I say anything bad. I’m sure of it.”
Oh, but I’m crafty. You see, I interviewed the brothers separately for just this very possibility. Like a cop working multiple interrogation rooms, I spring on Adrian that his brother, so drunk that he was stinking of Bass Ale over the telephone receiver (okay, so I didn’t go that far), has told me the whole story. Nonplussed, Adrian shoots back, “That’s good. Then, they’ll shoot you before they shoot me”.
Clearly, I’m getting nowhere with these boys; at least, in terms of spoilers. Otherwise, I’m having a fine time sitting at my desk, shooting the breeze with a couple of charismatic young actors surprised to find themselves on the cusp of what is sure to be a wild ride through the media maelstrom for the most heavily anticipated sequel of the summer. It’s also nice, for once, conducting an interview over the phone, since I’m able to concentrate solely on their personalities instead of struggling to identify subtle differences in appearance to tell them apart. But, it turns out, I’ve found the perfect way to distinguish between the two: Neil is the one with the award winning silversmithing company, while Adrian is into ornamental furniture design. You just file that away for when they become action film superstars.
As for how the boys got into the entertainment business, Neil says, “We had an uncle who was an Alfred Hitchcock lookalike for an agency. And when we were about eighteen or nineteen years-old, they said, ‘Oh, we’d like some twins on the book’.” From there, they went onto a career in “presenting” – as Neil says, “the equivalent of your anchorman” – followed by a few short films, and, then, after a couple of fortuitous auditions, came [i]The Matrix[/i]. The feeling, as you can be sure, was one of absolute elation. As Adrian says, “What can you say? When the agent phoned up, she was in tears on the other end of the phone, she said, ‘Guys, look, man... you’ve got this gig. They want you in [i]The Matrix[/i] playing these characters.’ And I can remember just slumping against the kitchen cabinet, and getting this goosebump all over sensation thinking, ‘Oh, my god. I’m going to be in the most awaited sequel for 2003.’ I just couldn’t believe it.”
As lifelong martial artists trained in a multitude of disciplines – including Shotokan, Shaolin Kung-Fu, Westernized Boxing, Hapkido, Jujitsu and Kendo – it was, of course, an honor to work with the legendary Yuen Woo-Ping. “We were always a big fan of his stuff anyway,” Neil enthuses, “and all of a sudden, we’re on a set, and he’s our choreographer. It was quite daunting to start off with. Barring anything else, you know, like, being on a set with the likes of Laurence Fishburne, Keanu and Carrie-Ann and Hugo Weaving; that was great in and of itself. But to actually be in a training atmosphere with a master such as Yuen Woo-Ping and his credibility that he has in the martial arts world was... quite humbling, actually. It was quite an experience because when you get very proficient at martial arts, and you’ve been studying for a long time, it’s very difficult to find someone to look up to and find inspiration. Definitely in Yuen Woo-Ping and his sidekicks – his boys from Hong Kong who help him do the wire work – who are all phenomenal Chinese Opera trained gymnasts and acrobats. It was amazing. We learned something, which is very nice after twenty-three years of doing martial arts; all of a sudden, you’ve reached another plateau. And there were a lot of great stunt men there – American stunt men – who were brilliant martial artists. It was fantastic. We were surrounded by all this talent, and you can’t do anything but progress in your martial arts by watching them.”
But just who are “The Twins”? “We’re a rogue program,” says Neil. More? “We’ve been given the opportunity — I mean, most out of date programs within the Matrix go back to the main frame and get recycled, but somehow or another, and which you’ll find out, we’ve actually managed to skip that process and are actually roaming of our own free will within the Matrix system. And doing our bidding.” Meaning that they’re living like rock stars? “Absolutely,” laughs Adrian. “Why not? Best restaurants, best clothes, best clubs, the best kind of violence, which is a cutthroat razor.”
When it comes to dishing on the Wachowski’s, the Rayment’s once again say very little. “Very private people,” says Neil, “You won’t get a lot out of them.” Adrian, though, is a little more forthcoming. “I mean, they stay away from doing any public interviews and stay away from the media totally, and I suppose I have to respect that. But I can say from my personal experience that they’re just a couple of cool guys. You know, they’re brothers who are more seemingly like twins than we are sometimes. You know, there are these little nuances and facets to their relationship that we really could relate to. I think we got on with them really well, and they were very forthcoming with their information; they’re very verbal and they’re very animated physically. So, they certainly let you know what they want, which was great.”
What about working with the inimitable Joel Silver (I’ll leave the dubbing of “Lord Joel Silver” to that esteemed scoundrel, Smilin’ Jack Ruby, over at CHUD)? Would they run that gauntlet again? According to Adrian, gladly. “When the Big J actually calls, you just say how high do you want me to jump? I mean, that man has a bigger entourage than I’ve ever seen anybody with. Bigger than Will Smith. He’s larger than life, Joel.”
On the Rayment’s table next is a low-budget martial arts flick – “the first ever martial arts feature film made in Britain”, boasts Neil – entitled [i]Team One[/i], which neither of them expects to be bucking for year-end awards. “(It’s) just a martial arts flick. You know, get some pizza and a slab of beer on a Saturday night with all your mates around. It’s total... it’s just carnage really.” Sounds fun.
Though it’s early to tell just how big the Rayments will be, the buzz on their work in [i]Reloaded[/i] suggests that, at the very least, a healthy career in action flicks awaits. But forget all that for the moment. The biggest question is, will they be back for [i]Revolutions[/i]? Neil just lets out a big laugh in response. “Awwww, I can’t tell you that, either!”
Good soldiers to the very end.
Faithfully submitted,
Mr. Beaks
Awesome. Thanks, man. Nice work. I’m almost sorry I told that story in the introduction now. Almost.
"Moriarty" out.
