Star Trek: Enterprise 3.12 FAQ

What’s tonight’s called?

“Chosen Realm.”

Who’s responsible?

Teleplay is credited to “Odyssey 5” creator Manny Coto (the Trip-cloning “Similitude”).

What does TV Guide say?

“The crew is taken hostage by alien religious zealots who plot to use the Enterprise to punish unbelievers after Archer rescues them from their crippled vessel. D'Jamat: Conor O'Farrell. Yarrick: Vince Grant. Indava: Lindsey Stoddart. Nalbis: David Youse.”

Do any of the zealots have Osama-like facial hair?

Nope. This crew’s males are clean-shaven and a little too fond of the ponytail. And though they don’t seem to have any issues with women, they do use suicide bombers to get what they want.

Why “Chosen Realm”?

It’s the name the fanatics have given the Expanse. They also call being deformed by the anomalies being touched by “the makers’ breath.”

What else is TV Guide not telling us?

It’s a remake of “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield,” the one with a two-toned Frank Gorshin. Instead of saying things like “They’re black on the left side!” they say things like “They think the makers created the spheres in ten days, not nine!” <

The big news?

The fanatics appear to delete Enterprise’s database on the spheres, which could be a real problem for the crew in subsequent episodes.

What’s good?

The only halfway interesting stuff is the exposition we get early in the episode. While the fanatics hold there are thousands of the “anomaly spheres,” T’Pol appears to have determined that there are only 59 in the Expanse. The fanatics and T’Pol agree, however, that the spheres were likely created about 1,000 years ago.

What’s not so good?

The villains we get this week are a too-familiar lot, bringing to memory not only the dual-hued “Battlefield” antagonists, but also those from “Space Seed” (ponytailed supermen use their unique biology to seize the ship) and “Way to Eden,” and “Final Frontier” (hippyish religious fanatics seize the ship). There’s even an echo of “Deep Space Nine”: like the Bajorans, the folks who menace Archer & Co. this week worship mysterious artifacts left long ago by an alien race.

How does it end, spoiler-boy?

If memory serves, it ends essentially as “Last Battlefield” did, with the antagonist learning firsthand that fanaticism has decimated his homeworld. “Your faith was going to bring peace?” scoffs Archer. “Here it is.”

Herc’s rating for “Enterprise” 3.12?

**1/2

The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:

• ***** better than we deserve
• **** better than most motion pictures
• *** actually worth your valuable time
• ** as horrible as most stuff on TV
• * makes you quietly pray for bulletins