I am – Hercules!!

News you’ve likely heard elsewhere, yet may still need to comment upon:

DING DONG. It’s a new day for ABC! Barbara Walters may continue to fling her useless softball questions at weak-minded celebrities, but she won’t do it on “20/20”! She’s leaving, even as the alphabet net concocts its new primetime interview specials starring Howard Stern (who, by the way, actually knows how to find stuff out). Quick, when does “20/20” air? And are hey still employing that Gimme A Break guy?

NOT-SO-FINAL ANSWER. Almost two years after it left, “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” returns to its primetime roots in February with “Super Millionaire.” Long before ABC wore out the concept’s welcome by airing it four nights a week, every week, “Millionaire” began life as a sweeps stunt. This time around Regis will oversee contests worth $10 million, presumably to distinguish the new primetime version from the largely millionaire-free enterprise airing every weekday in syndication.

NOXON ON HEAVEN’S DOOR. Marti Noxon, who served as “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” showrunner for the series’ final two seasons, collaborates with obscure screenwriter John McLaughlin (not be be confused with the great John McNaughton, he of “Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer” and “Mad Dog and Glory” fame) on “Pleasant Point,” a “Twin Peaks”-ish Fox pilot about about a quiet town that finds itself rocked when a girl washes ashore. No word yet on whether she’s wrapped in plastic. Noxon’s first post-“Buffy” show, the long-in-the-can Fox afterlife series, “Still Life,” continues to await an airdate. Word is it might finally pop up this summer.

LOWEST LAME? According to TV Guide, we learn on tonight’s “Smallville” that Chloe Sullivan is Lois Lane’s cousin! Is it a throwaway reference, or something more telling? (And how much longer, one wonders, before Chloe and Lionel are shoehorned into the established comic book continuity?) Meanwhile, that Bruce Wayne-looking guy, Adam Knight (get it? get it?), continues to sniff around Lana Lang.

HEY YA. Jack Paar died Tuesday. He spent five of his 85 years hosting “The Tonight Show,” after Steve Allen and before Johnny Carson.

BIG NON-SCOOBY DEATH. Last but not least, word spread across the Internet Tuesday that “Angel” 5.15, written and directed by Buffiverse mastermind Joss Whedon, will bring bigger news than expected. Invisotext on! A character played by a regular member of the show’s cast (one of the few members of Team Angel who hasn’t already died yet) up and dies! (Hint: she’s skinny and digs science!)

I am – Hercules!!