Hey folks, Harry here... Seems that Lasse Hallstrom's Oscar-bait film entitled AN UNFINISHED LIFE, which is due out for a Holiday season release... isn't up to Dr. Teeth's standards. Now... this was an extremely early test screening, this film isn't due for release till December, and some of the problems could be cured with proper scoring, editing clean ups and reshoots, which they have more than enough time for. AND - this is just one guy's opinion. That being said... this review paints a pretty ugly picture. So - let's just hope that Lasse pulls it together, I tend to really like his films...
Hey Harry,
Long time reader, first time reviewer. Call me DR TEETH.
Went to an early screening of Lasse Hallstrom's AN UNFINISHED LIFE last night at the Loews Lincoln Square in NYC. I guess this is supposed to come out in the fall, to position it for all the "awards" it's going to win. The only awards in this turkey's future are possible Razzies.
It's pretty sad how far Hallstrom has fallen from his great early work. It's painful to think that this schlock is from the director of MY LIFE AS A DOG and WHAT'S EATING GILBERT GRAPE. Shameful. Even a crappy film like THE SHIPPING NEWS (which desecrated a very good novel) was much more interesting and original than AN UNFINISHED LIFE.
The short, spoiler free version: this is barely good enough to be a Hallmark Hall of Fame, CBS Sunday night movie. Honestly. It's a film that seems made specifically to be shown on airplanes with a minimum of cutting. How they attracted such big name talent to this corny-ass script, I'll never know.
Plot: Jennifer Lopez and her "daughter" are on the run from her abusive boyfriend (Damien Lewis). They high-tale it to Wyoming to stay with her father-in-law, a crusty old curmudgeon named, I kid you not, Einar Gilkyson. Einar-FUCKING-Gilkeyson. And yes, all other characters constantly call him by his first name. Einar is basically an older, more grizzled-yet-loveable version of Robert Redford's character in THE HORSE WHISPERER. And he is played by Redford in this film, too. Einar lives on a ranch with his "best pal" or "cowhand" Mitch, played by Morgan Freeman, who should know better than to play worthless roles like this. Mitch is bedridden from injuries suffered from a bear attack, and he is strangely, pseudo-poetically obsessed with this bear. And the bear actually plays a large role in the film. Yeah, it's that kind of movie.
Camryn Manheim appears as the tough, warm, supportive owner of the diner in town where J Lo (rather unconvincingly) starts waiting tables. Also, Josh Lucas plays the local sherriff/obligatory J Lo love interest who spends most of the film on the cutting room floor.
It seems silly to worry about spoilers when talking about a movie like this, because if you've EVER seen a movie before, you know everything that's going to happen after the first five minutes. Will the awkward little girl melt the grizzled old rancher's flinty heart?
Will the evil ex-boyfriend get what's coming to him? Will Mitch and the bear learn to understand one another? Will the audience be able to get through the picture without falling asleep?
THE GOOD: Uh, I'm going to need a minute to think here. The bear actually give the best performance in the film. Seriously. This is one talented bear. The scenery (somewhere in Canada, probably Alberta) is beautiful, but indifferently shot. For whatever its faults, at least Redford's own THE HORSE WHISPERER was gorgeously shot.
THE BAD: Where to begin? The horrid, generic, could've been done by any TV hack direction? Ugh. The bland, cheesy, straight-from-Hallmark script? (Seriously, why did anyone read this thing before they started shooting?) The movie is basically like Second Hand Lions, only much worse. Secondhand Lions with a Redford and Freeman instead of Duvall and Caine. With a bear instead of a lion. With J Lo instead of Kyra Sedgwick (only playing a LESS sympathetic character!). With a girl instead of Hailey Joel Osment. (Actually, not all that different). And without the fun fantasy sequences or any of the humor of Secondhand Lions.
At least Redford and Freeman are professionals, and though the movie is 100% corn, they know how to play this corn. The other actors are pretty much lost. Actually, the movie would have been better if Einar and Mitch were actually a couple. It certainly seems that that's what's going on, and there's an amusing moment when the little girl asks them if they ARE gay. Honestly, their relationship would've made a lot more sense, and the movie would've been somewhat more interesting.
THE UGLY: Jennifer Lopez gives one of the WORST performances in recent memory in this film. She is so miscast, it's a wonder how she ended up in this picture. Wow. 100% unconvincing. I know, I know, everybody loves to jump on the I HATE J LO wagon after Gigli. Well, I didn't see Gigli, or Jersey Girl, and I think that Lopez has done some decent work, at least in OUT OF SIGHT. But I'm sorry, she'd kill this movie if it wasn't mostly dead already. She has zero chemistry with anyone in the picture, especially the kid playing her daughter. They seems to have barely met. She drifts lifelessly through the film, shamelessly phoning it in, until her one big angry scene when she lashes out at Redford.
Too bad it's one of the phoniest, lamest, bad-playwrighting-101 type wannabe Oscar clip scenes in recent memory. Every time her character re-appears after being offscreen for awhile, whatever meager energy the film has withers away and dies. Sorry J Lo, no Oscar for you this year.
I could go on and on, but basically this movie is too dull and lifeless to talk about.
It's sad to see Hallstrom's talent dripping away like this, but what can you do?
Miramax should really think about whether they should be releasing such white-bread, wholesome, generic crap. By NO stretch of the imagination is this an independent film. Sorry.
Worst of all: the upper-middle aged, upper-middle class audience actually applauded at the end. For a movie too lame for the Lifetime Network. I guess there really is no accounting for taste anymore.
DR TEETH
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