Early Test Screening Reports on CONSTANTINE!!!

Hey folks, Harry here. What follows are 3 very early looks at Keanu's CONSTANTINE. Now - Warners is quite high on the film. Folks there are touting the director as the next great genre overlord, and are in the process of handing him I AM LEGEND. So obviously genre loving geeks need to love CONSTANTINE - and so far... at least in this first batch of reviews, that's not really the case. This first review feels the movie has the potential to be great once alot of the fat is trimmed away and the film process with all the effects and sound issues are finished. This is an excellent test screening review, laying out the positives and the negatives. Great job! Now beware of spoilers... they are contained in the first 2 reviews. The third doesn't... but then, it doesn't say much at all. Here ya go...

Harry, long time fan, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Saw an advance, "tester" screening of Constantine last night at UA Theatres in Pasadena, California. Neilsen Ratings Group was there, as were the ever-lovely post-viewing paper surveys. For those of you unaware, Constantine is the film version of DC/Vertigo comic book Hellblazer, with Keanu Reaves as the title character. Estimated running time without credits was 1:50.

I must STRESS this was not the finished film, so I will not discuss various technical aspects which were obviously not worked heavily in postproduction (looping, inconsistent lighting in the same scene, etc.). I truly hope the people behind the film read this and consider these thoughts since there is never enough space on the surveys to really make decent comments, and those tiny pencils always seem to go blunt after about 2 words making writing an overly laborious chore. But, if the tester is this good, and they take a good hard look at the feedback, this could really turn out to be some great stuff.

Sorry for the length, but I wanted to be fair to all sides here.

What's it All About?

Basically, John Constantine and his compatriots must discover why agents of Lucifer are able to come to the Earth's plane of existence. While halfbreeds (half heaven or half hell beings with the other half being human) can freely roam the earth and interact with humans to persuade/goad them into doing good/evil, fullbred angels and demons cannot come to this plane (or, at least, not until this movie begins). Destiny brings John Constantine and Angela Dodson (Rachel Weisz) together, as Angela (an LA Cop/Detective) is seeking to understand the mystery surrounding the suicide of her twin sister. So, as the body count around John Constantine begins to rise, he takes an active interest in eventually helping Angela, which is linked to his own investigation. Overall storyarc was interesting, and, if tidied up a bit, could really be superb. From here on out, there are spoilers, so be warned.

What Worked?

Well, plenty actually, much to my surprise - highlights as follows:

a) Our introduction to the Spear of Destiny and related carcrash scene some 60 seconds into the film. Really got everyone's adrenaline running and set a great mood and tone. This scene did not seem completely finished, as the movement of the Scavenger character after impact as he exited the wreckage seemed a bit choppy, but the whole theatre freaked when the crash happened - nice work.

b) The exorcism scene with the soldier demon and the mirror. Seems the girl is possessed by one of these demonds that are not supposed to be here, and Constantine performs an exorcism with the help of the tenement neighbours (which do not all follow his instructions, natch) and capture the demon in a mirror, then tosses the mirror out the window to crash below, destroying the soldier demon. Different, gripping, decent dialogue, and sweet F/X there also gave us the tone we wanted.

c) Angela's "drowning" scene - to pass into Hell, water is used as the medium. So, John fills a tub with water and holds Angela under so she can pass through to Hell. Angela apparently thinkgs it will not take very long, but as her breath begins to run out she panics (who wouldn't) when John does not let her resurface for more air. Had everyone on the edge of their seats, and the acting/action here was top-notch.

d) The flying demonhordes attack on John and Angela in front of the Hispanic religious store - the setting of the scene, mounting tension by having lights fade to black, and the camera angle continually closing in on John and Angela and the Virgin Mary in the shopwindow, and John's ultimate defeat of the demons was well-crafted, suspenseful, and visually great. Not too much overpowering/gratuitous "let's get lotsa close-ups of the demons in here" shots, no overmilking the attack so it was boring, just great camera angles, realistic action/dialogue, and F/X.

e) The visualization of Hell being a "mirror" of Earth (specifically, LA in this case since that is where this storyarc occurs), and the post-apocalyptic look was great. Slightly surreal, lots of destruction and demons everywhere, but the focus was on the characters there, and once again the F/X was the backdrop, not the sole focus.

f) Peter Stormare as Lucifer - probably my foremost fave character of the film last night, beautifully portrayed here. No crazy visuals, just some incredible acting and scripting here made this the highlight of the film. Shame he only appears at the end given how great the character was, but understandably necessary given the plotline.

g) Djimon Hounsou as Papa Midnight - another great character, albeit a bit underutilised for my tastes given the acting quality.

What Missed the Mark?

A fair amount, which is why there was a tester of this:

a) Gabriel's rationale - a major plotline here is Gabriel (beautifully portrayed by Tilda Swinton) believes humankind is at its best when it is facing evil. That humankind, left to its own devices without the presence of intense evil, is wasting God's gift by underachieving and wallowing in evil often. So, she decides if she creates as much chaos as possible (= bringing the son of Lucifer to walk the Earth), mankind will do great things. OK, the concept works, but the way it is brought out in the film seems contrived since she only goes into that dialogue in the final moments of the film. Given she has earlier discussion with John Constantine, that level of obsession should have been at least hinted at in the dialogue (if it was, no one I saw this with certainly noticed it).

b) Stupid Halfbreed Demonhordes - building to the final climax, John and his believable sidekick, Chas, must defeat a large amount of assembled halfbreed demons to get to where the action is. We all know evildoers like to have their "Here-is-why-I-want-to-destroy-the-world-so-you-can-use-this-time-to-defeat-me" monologue, but in this movie our hero just stands there, without monologue. These demons know John Constantine, and he even introduces himself to them when he steps into the room just in case they don't. They snarl, and everyone just stands there for what seems like minutes while he activiates the sprinkler system with his lighter, and then waits ever so patiently whilst his sidekick tries repeatedly to get a jumbo-sized cross into the tiniest of holes in the sprinkler system's water reservoir (= Holy water). So, everyone is just standing there in this room with the water coming down, Chas (sidekick) continues to work the hole and, eventually (yawn) viola, Holy water. Then, the stupid demons say "Holy Water", and attack. Please, this was plain stupid. Whilst I can understand the need to build tension and such, this scene did not work since the demons would attack John as soon as he entered the room.

c) Chas' becoming an angel and ascending to heaven. Yes, Chas, dies after saving the moment. The visiting of the gravesite and John's farewell was OK, but seeing Chas sprout his wings and ascend into heaven really ruined part of the film for me. Yes, I get the movie is about redemption, but don't suddenly go the easy route to tell me that.

d) Beeman's demise. Great character as John's gadgetman, and whilst I do not object to his needing to die to advance the plotline, the how was annoying. If you had all these arcane implements and knew how to use them to ward off and banish/destroy demons, and every demon knows and hates you, would you leave your lair unguarded? Would you talk on the phone, hear strange and troubling noises around you getting ever-closer, and do nothing other than look worried but still sit in your @$$ and talk on the phone? Methinks not, and Beeman deserved better - a more subtle/ingeniously crafted demise which escapes detection, or his mounted defences are not up to task.

e) Father Hennessy's demise. Again, decent character, and not upset he had to die to advance the storyarc. However, the drinking himself to death in 2 minutes or so was implausible since the actual chemical process would take longer, and the F/X really were confusing here (he does not see the alcohol or taste it pouring into his mouth, so he panics and attempts to drink even more). Those halfbreed demons are tricky in their suggestions, and I liked the standoff post-death scene between the demon and angel halfbreeds, but it was just a weird scene and we never would have gotten it without the reveal by the police as to cause of death.

f) Spear of Destiny convenience - great concept, but at the end just a prop to make the storywork. Given the impact (pun intended) of the Spear at the opening of the film, we expect to see it be a bit more involved to the story. However, it is merely what is needed to give rise to the son of Satan on Earth, so it basically disappears other than a brief montage, and then shows up to ruin the day for humankind at the film's climax. Do more with the Spear. Oh, can a damaged/stolen SUV driven by an obviously possessed Mexican drive straight through from Jalisco, Mexico to Los Angeles without getting stopped and searched at the border? Unlikely.

g) Constantine's "superpower" reveal at climax - No one had any idea what he said when invoking this power, or what the power actually did, if anything. I am not intimately familiar with the graphic novels, so maybe that would've helped, but it should be stand-alone in the flick, IMHO.

So, a great start, and potentially a great film if they focus on what works, and trim the fat.

As for Keanu, well, he is Keanu, and we just have to accept that visually he is a decent match for Constantine

If you use this, call me Obi-Wan and Only

Ok now here's a flat out negative review of the film, filled with spoilers...