Some of my earliest ‘fanboy/geek’ memories were of the 1970’s era Sci-Fi/Comic/Trekkies conventions. And yes, they wore the term Trekkies with honor. This was in the era when Paramount didn’t care about Star Trek. To them it was just another canceled television show.
To me, at the ripe ages of 3 to 6, well Star Trek was the very definition of what it was to be a ‘geek’. At those old conventions, I’d watch the STAR TREK (classic series) episodes being projected in the film room on 16mm. There were old nickelodeon style machines that you would put a dime in to see 5 minutes of an episode. There were homemade Tribbles and Dell and Goldkey Comics, fan made buttons, patches, phasers, uniforms and stills.
I remember at Houston Cons when Bjo Trimble was assembling the “LIST”. The list that held the names of fans from across the country that put they’re John Hancock down to bring back STAR TREK. It was... a wet dream. And when it actually began to happen... well... gosh, it became beyond excitement.
A STAR TREK movie, after STAR WARS, was the most coolest neatest thing my immature mind could contemplate. I remember being told that ROBERT WISE was directing, and being a well raised geek child I knew that Robert Wise was the guy that made DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL and THE HAUNTING. Of course his other films didn’t matter to me back then.
I remember watching that first Trek film with wide-eyed wonder. As each character was introduced in loving and convincing reintroductions tears filled my youthful eyes. Having BONES gripe about being beamed, and having the long range shuttle craft with a hippie Spock... wow. Too cool. The awe inspiring treatment of the Enterprise was... to put it mildly PERFECT.
Never before, and never since, had the Enterprise seemed as majestic or huge. It seemed to be a thing of dream. And the ship meant STAR TREK. It embodied it, and to command her... well it was to be Columbus or Magellan of space. And what child did not dream of that?
For me, there was a power about Star Trek because it represented MY planet in the future. Not some fantasy of a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, but of MY planet, and MY people existing in MY future. And that was the allure of Star Trek as it was 20-25 years ago for me.
I remember years later when STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION was coming about. It was to be a gigantic letdown. How could it be good? Star Trek had been defined by Shatner and Nimoy and the rest of the crew. Pluck them away and you have a cadaver floating about right?
Then I saw the Enterprise D. Wow, if the original Enterprise was the Tin Lizzie of space exploration, then the Enterprise D was the Tucker. Sleek and cool, it had TRANSFORMER abilities and a holodeck. An android and a completely different chemistry between the crew members. Much more... professional. There was a chain of command, and the first officer wasn’t doing all the thinking, instead it was the ship’s captain. I loved it, I watched every season, every episode.
For me, there is no “Choose between Star Trek and Star Wars”. One is science fiction the other is science fantasy epic. They are not the same. And I grew up with both. And with both franchises there is a lot of emotion tied up.
These are properties that taught me to be ‘geeky’. They gave a definition to my generation, we watched as the concepts in the films began coming true in our real world. When that damn Space Shuttle was called ENTERPRISE, I almost died. Wow. It established that we geeks had power to affect the real world.
So, it has been with great dismay that I’ve watched as Paramount and Rick Berman have decided to take a shit on Star Trek. Rushing the films out with inadequate scripts written in-house by tired writers with shriveled brains that at one time where a ripe juicy grape overstuffed with creative juices... now they are just a raisin.
Gone is the nobility, the grand love of exploration, the words, “to boldly go where no one has gone before” are no longer found on the ‘PRODUCT’. And by the way, that’s what this film is, ‘PRODUCT.” The latest excreted log served on a recycled paper plate pulled out of a park’s waste and save container.
Star Trek is being killed it seems. Back in the day when Paramount did not know what STAR TREK was, things were fine. They were not lifting up a leg and pissing on it, instead it was merely in cryo-stasis. Unaging, undecaying... perfectly preserved awaiting it’s rebirth into the world.
Now, I am watching as Star Trek is being taken into the Nursing Home from Hell. Mean old nurses searing it’s flesh with trite dialogue, giving it an enema with a gasoline of exhausted ideas.
STOP IT!
Hire new writers, kick Berman out of his dunce chair and bring in some new blood. Go out to the screenwriters that have never ever touched Star Trek before, but that have written in the world of Sci Fi. Tell them, you don’t know what you want, but you want it to take place within the concept of Exploration. A noble pursuit.
“Remember when we were Explorers,” Picard says as he enters the Turbolift.
Yeah, I remember that. In recent years we’ve seen Star Trek dissolve into techno-babble. Regular spaceship stuff just ain’t so good no more. Nope, we gotta eject cores and gather gases and... well I know where they got them gases... out of their left ears.
ARGH!
Ok, let’s take a look at this alleged movie. It is enjoyable at the ‘BAD’ Trek level. You know, like the scene in STAR TREK V where they sing “Row Row Row Your Boat”? Here’s a brief rundown on the atrocities...
1. In the midst of battle, Picard, Data and Worf begin singing the Gilbert and Sullivan song that Sallah sung in RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. It was at this 10 minute mark in the film that I realized how lovely the exit doors were looking.
2. Before that even, we get to behold the UGLY production design. The costuming is TERRIBLE, they looked like a mix in clothes from FRIENDS and DR QUINN MEDICINE WOMAN and the villagers from numerous XENA and HERCULES episodes.
To continue on the production design, let’s examine this ‘civilization’. You are dealing with a people that can live forever, that have only the desire to pursue art and life and love and spirituality. Why then is this community so damn ugly. Remember those gorgeous matte paintings from Classic Trek, where you got the idea that... well an advance culture was... oh... let’s say...ummm ADVANCED. Not through science fictiony shit flying around, but because of the beauty of their architecture. Witness the one shot along those lines from the STAR WARS EPISODE ONE trailer... the one of Naboo. That’s a classic Trek shot... just lifted to establish the scope of the worlds we are dealing with.
At one point Picard and the alleged love-interest, which of course bears no impediment for Picard leaving at the end (I’ll get back to this). At one point, the alien chick is taking Picard on a walk through their ugly little place in the world, and they come across a single quilt, inexplicably hanging out in the middle of a empty area of town.
Picard stops and looks at it, admires it and... Well, I can only call it this, “My Penis Is Bigger Than Yours” ensues. The Alien Chick says something along the lines of, “Oh that ol thing, that’s just a student’s work, hopefully one day he’ll be worthy of becoming an apprentice.”
Oh give me a fucking break. God forbid you attempt to show any scope. In old Trek, this little burg on the surface would actually have a big cool civilization of people living underground with a vast beautiful city with an artificial sun. There would be statues and stunning buildings. There would be something...
Now back to the alleged LOVE INTEREST. Just because she can live a long time and can make water slow down, well gosh, she’s a real gem. For a character so much more in touch with her emotions, she really comes across like she’s been being fed Tranquilizers since dawn. Straining to keep from emoting, she’s a lot like those folks on TV late at night trying to sell you a fantastic jeweled broach for only 3 easy payments of $14.95, yes that’s right, just $14.95 and if you act now... well we’ll throw in a lifetime guarantee.
3. Villains that relish in just being evil. Khan kinda ruined Star Trek in alot of ways because the idiots in charge know fans love him, so they keep trying to clone him. GIVE IT UP. In Star Trek there doesn’t have to be a meglomaniacal bad guy bent on destruction. It doesn’t have to happen. And the lesson that Star Trek learned from FIRST CONTACT is to have your villain have some sort of ‘seemingly’ cool action figure power. The Borg Queen’s head could be taken out. Here, F Murray Abraham’s face could be pulled back. Wow, that hasn’t been done since... oh... um... FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS, BRAZIL.... At least this villain wasn’t quoting Shakespeare.
4. Worf going through Klingon puberty. Wow, a single obviously make-up pimple. A longer wig. Strange hunger habits... God just kill the poor guy. This is where I knew there was no hope for the film. You see, it had descended into SELF-PARODY. I’m siting Worf, but the same could be said of each and every character.
Who is Worf? He’s a man without a home. He’s a proud man, a man who’s father was disgraced, who’s family honor was taken away. He’s a man that can not find love, because his true love has passed away. He is a man torn between his human parents and his Klingon roots. He’s a man that takes solace in the company of his friends, and seeks their understanding. He’s a great character, who in this film is reduced to merely sight gags and punchlines.
5. The love of Riker and Troi. Remember when we were first introduced to them in ENCOUNTER AT FARPOINT? When there was a fire between them, when they could read each others’ thoughts. A love that burned deeply between them. Here, when I look at them, I don’t see love, instead I see, “Wouldn’t it be cool if we fucked again.”
I could go on and on and on with all the problems this film has but I think the most important problem is... THE FOCUS of the story is never defined.
Why are the characters on this adventure? What is the purpose of the story? Who’s story is it?
Once you get those questions, you have to begin editing your story down. You have to look at it.
Ok, I’d venture to say that this story is about Picard’s intolerance of the repetition of historically bad decisions. The purpose of the story is to have Picard make others realize that the good of the many is not necessarily more important than the good of a few. A theme that was perfectly dealt with in Wrath of Khan and Search For Spock. This is Picard’s story.
Ok, once you establish that, you begin focusing on the threads that move that story forward. To accomplish Picard’s goals, he has to convince his crew that THESE 600 people and their lives on this planet are more important than bringing ever-lasting life to the galaxy. That’s a tall order. Here, the writers take the easy way out. Come hell or high water, we’re with Picard. NO. No no no no NOOOO!
To any thinking individual Picard is wrong. The good of the many is more important than the mere relocation of these few. Geordi’s dream of having true sight, is more important to Geordi than these peoples’ underdeveloped suburban community. As a result, the Admiral in the film and the ‘Bad’ guy are unnecessary.
The Admiral should not be a bad guy, instead he should just be the voice of Civilization. Picard is the environmentalist, the bleeding heart liberal. To win, he must fight with thoughts and words. Go watch THE MEASURE OF A MAN, Berman.
Picard must either convince his crew and the entirety of StarFleet that he has a ‘reasonable’ grasp of why this place and people are important.
That is never done to my satisfaction, I am never convinced. Inside of no time, the idea of helping every sick person in the galaxy versus helping these 600 people... I go with the dying and the future of Billions. But hey, that’s just me.
And I do understand Picard’s thought processes on this, but I can not and will not just ‘give’ that to him. He has to earn it. And in the way of that story, that character arc, are all the tired trappings of individual arcs.... Data’s quite old quest for human understanding, Geordi’s search for a pair of better eyes, Worf’s acne, Riker and Troi’s lovemaking, the firming up of Crusher’s beautiful breasts... All of that is unnecessary.
There were bigger fish to fry in this film, but of course when you have a deadline and a seemingly idiotic leader like Rick Berman at the controls, well gosh... he’s a leader in VISION. In just a few short years the most significant thing he’s brought to Star Trek is a casino in Las Vegas. Gosh, I guess that is what Star Trek is about.
Lost dreams, lost vision, glitz and glamour and emotional bankruptcy. Way to go Berman, now go pack your bags and walk into the ocean. It’s time for a rest.
