I just got back from AUSTIN POWERS 2: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME... and I’m juiced to write about the film... and how it fits into the scheme of things.

First.. a confession, I wasn’t a real big fan of the original. In AUSTIN POWERS, I felt that Austin was cool, Dr Evil rocked, but Ms Kensington... well... she just didn’t float my boat baby.

Don’t get me wrong, Elizabeth Hurley is a monumental babe of epic tower erecting proportions, but... it was her character. For me, in the first film, every time Austin got going... began having fun, some friggin constraint of the modern world and it’s repressed sensibilities held him back from being the swinger he really is. And Ms Kensington was the chief brick wall to swinging.

Sure... yes, I understand that was the whole premise... Fish out of water, discovers that everything he held dear has changed and has to adapt to the world around him. It was Conneticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court with a half twist and a minus the yank.

But this would kinda be like making a movie about a great athlete after he did what he did, and was just growing... domesticated. Screw that. I want to watch WHEN THEY WERE KINGS. I wanted to see Austin at full steam.

And in AUSTIN POWERS 2, that’s what I get. Sure, he’s got problems... but then I think Austin always has a problem to deal with, thus is the life of a secret agent, eh? This time out Austin is in his environment. He’s not in a zoo behind plexi for a study. Instead he’s in his happening jungle with a wanton willing babe just awaiting for a good wiley roll in the hay... or the satin sheets.

However, the single greatest improvement over the original film is the amount of focus on... the dark side. Like the difference between STAR WARS and EMPIRE STRIKES BACK... First time out the focus was on the light side, this time... the dark side has center stage... and it’s delicious.

The various characters introduced... are note perfect for me. Mini-Me is one of those character creations that is... just so damn perfect that you can’t help but stare and be in awe.

Mini-Me is fantastic. And it kinda makes me think... hmmm... imagine having your own Mini-Me... The derogatory nature of the relationship between Dr Evil and Mini-Me... where Dr Evil treats him like a spoiled pet... and everybody else sees him as the vicious chihuahua that he is... is wonderful. The visual gags... the action... the dance numbers... the sexual innuendoes... the implication of cannibalism... the ... Well, let’s just say that Mini-Me will become an icon. I want a Dr Evil toy with a Mini-Me two packed with him.

And then there is Fat Bastard. Ahhh... Fat Bastard is everything that the talk back bastards wish they could create to make fun of me. Mike nailed it... I now have a very real vision of what my personal time with Felicity Shagwell would look like. Thank you Mike Myers... my hallucinatory fantasy life is now complete.

Another aspect of the comedy that I enjoyed further because of the twist is....

In the first AUSTIN POWERS, they spent so much time making fun of the swinging sixties with the ‘higher morality’ of the nineties... I felt this was a tired joke. Something I had been doing with my father for a long time. Making fun of his hippie world, through my next generation eye sockets. Ho Hum.

Well... In AUSTIN POWERS 2, that’s reversed, and it’s that generation and age laughing at our new fangled ideas and beliefs. A-friggin-Men. Laugh. Because we are the most damn uptight society around right now. And as a result... we laugh... and laugh hard.

There were 4 separate points in Austin Powers 2 where I had to remove my glasses for fear of laughing them off my face.

So there ya have it. This is a film I prefer because of the further science fiction elements... the issues of mojo stealing... the whole ‘Star Wars’ having fun with nature... THE VILLIANS... making fun of small tiny people and giant fat people... making fun of the injured... the fantastic take on several Bond tricks and moments... and... for Mike Myers who really does deserve a big clap on the back and a hearty thank you.

This is a movie to have a lot of fun with. Afterwards Dad began thinking about some of the historical inaccuracies and curiousities that were thrown in. HELLOOOOOO!!!! This is a fantasy. Austin Powers and his universe unfortunately exists outside of our own. Don’t bring your world in the theater, because that’s not where Austin lives. He exists on that movie screen... And I plan on visiting him a few more times this summer. He’s got a happening pad dontcha know....

ADDED ON DUE TO TALKBACK REQUEST OF Princpl Kahotec

How Hot Is FELICITY SHAGWELL aka Heather Graham?

Remember the fantasies you had about Rollergirl after watching BOOGIE NIGHTS? Remember how you were always messed up by seeing how the porn industry really affected her, and by the scene in the limo? Well... That's all gone. Felicity Shagwell wants to do the deed with randy not quite right men, and as a result... Well, she'll soon become your wet dream of choice. SHe's soooo hot that she makes you want to hop up on screen, take a sip of Dr Evil's container of Austin Mojo and Shagwell into the night. Her constant change of outfits, exposed thigh, bottom halves of asscheeks, bare abdomens... AND THAT LOOK IN HER EYE! Yes, you know the look. It's the one you dream of having in her eyes when she looks at you. She wants it, she's tired of talk, and she wants somebody (especially Austin) to give it to her. But on top of that, she'll do anything and anyone for the betterment of the human race, god and country. She's a woman after your own sweaty fantasies. And if you thought she was hot in the film, wait to you see what she does to Austin's anus.... I've never seen a woman do that before. Drove me crazy baby!

Oh.... And lest I forget.. let me talk about the trailers I saw... AFTER the movie in the lobby of the theater.

DEEP BLUE SEA... I don’t like this trailer. It starts off well enough with Renny Harlin’s traditional use of music with his trailers... incorporating no sound effects... just cutting the trailer to the music. But as soon as the trailer drifts from this path... Yuck. I hope this movie is more than it seems based on the trailer.

THE SIXTH SENSE... Fantastic trailer. Between this and Stigmata and The Haunting and The Blair Witch Project... well... I’m dying to be shaking in the theater this summer. Forrest Gump Jr just looks great, and those hand prints on the table just spook me. Excellent use of editing during the kids little hush breathed speech. Eager as hell to see this one.

TOY STORY 2... BRILLIANT TRAILER! The way they ought to be made! Trailers made for the movie, not movies made for the Trailers. From this trailer... you don’t learn a thing. You just know it’s Toy Story 2 and you’re going. It first features them damn cool 3 eyed Aliens... then a Woody and Buzz brief bit recorded especially for the trailer and... it’s dead on perfect. Can’t wait to see this trailer on the big screen. God I love the first film, and Pixar will not be letting us down... I don’t know if you folks remember my review of the script way back when, even though it was an early draft... I can tell you this. I felt it was a stronger geekier story, and I’m eager to see more on this one!

ARLINGTON ROAD.... The nomination for Worst Trailer of the Year goes to ARLINGTON ROAD and the folks that cut this... disgrace. Why see the movie? I mean, LITERALLY, the entire film is in the trailer. Every twist... every turn... They don’t leave anything for you. I’ve seen the film. I’ve reviewed it. It’s fantastic, but... this is the laziest most non-creative trailer I have seen in a very very long time. It does a disservice to the film and the audience. Shame on them.

And that’s all for now...