Hey folks, Harry here with more on DETOX (which had been renamed THE OUTPOST, but is now apparently renamed DETOX). It seems the name change did not help the film. This seems to just be a dog. And right now I just find myself wondering, "Can it really be as BORING and BAD as they say?" One of the interesting things I've picked up in the reviews is that depending on the reviewer... they are all picking up on different reasons this movie sucks... different things that kinda work... but the words BORING and FORMULA seem to be coming up a lot. So... whatever. I'm not going to waste a lot of lobes pondering this film. It seems that it's going to spend a lot of time straightening itself out before release. Sigh... Here's The Omega Man... (P.S. there are a lot of spoilers in the second and third reviews)
Harry,
The Omega Man here (I know, Its been a while) with a quickie last man on the
planet shout out on "Detox". I just got back from yet another NRG screening.
I know Harry Lime just reviewed this movie and he was calling it "The
Outpost", I'm not sure where he got that title, the version I saw had a title
card in the print that said DETOX so I don't know if they're planning on
changing it or what, but NRG was calling it that too. Another note, this
thing is basically in the can. There was very few shots in the film that were
not final print and the soundtrack was definitely final, it was even in
surround. I'd hazard a guess that they've made some minor changes since Harry
Lime saw it about two weeks ago and now they're giving it another go-round.
On to the movie. I'm not going to discuss the plot specifics because Harry
has already done that, just some brief comments on acting and the movie in
general. First thing I want to say is BORING. Second is FORMULA. I can't
really see what they were thinking when they greenlighted this pic, it has
nothing going for it. It's very flat with a couple slow spots in the plateaus
and an ending you can see coming for miles. It's sad really, cause they do
keep you guessing for a while, but ultimately its just standard finale fare.
Not to mention this film is a colossal waste of talent. Kristopherson is
utterly wasted. Sean Patrick Flannery turns in a great performance and should
have had more screen time. Robert Patrick proves once again that he should be
getting more work. And Charles Dutton is excellent in a character role that
has no utter purpose other than that of comedic sidekick and a crappy ending.
He shouldn't even be in the movie. Not to mention, there are some major
similarities between this movie and "Alien 3", although Dutton just happens
to be in both. Finally, Stallone is back to boring old phoning it in action
stereotypes. What happened to the actor side of him? I thought he was great
in "CopLand". Well apparently actor Sly has dissappeared again. I don't know
what else will be coming out in March when this thing rears its boring head,
but I can tell you there is nothing that will make this a better film.
Hollywood, please take note. How many times do we have to tell you?
Screenplay, screenplay, screenplay.
The Omega Man signing off...
"Wawazat!!"
Then we have Julian Wells here...
On with the review... let's see... pseudonyms, pseudonyms.. how about Julian
Wells (Robert Downey, Jr in Less Than Zero) and with his current situation
and the title DETOX, it seems a perfect fit. but after viewing this movie..
they should rename it to I STILL KNOW THE URBAN LEGEND YOU SCREAMED. How
could such a great beginning turn into just another formulaic teen slasher
movie? And why would Stallone want to do a formulaic slasher movie? Once
again, I'm not good at these things but then again, this isn't a good movie.
*SPOILERS AHEAD*
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1...
The intro was great. We see Stallone buying a wedding ring for his fiance,
cut to the bar where we find he was once a cop and it's been a while since
he's a fed now. We find out the jist of what's going on.. all this is
interesting, great character set up, Stallone actually acts pretty well. All
the way to the death of his fiance. I kept thinking... I feel for this guy.
Sorry, but I didn't buy the 'death' of the killer at all and it didn't feel
like any surprise at all. It was so set up, you knew he was still alive. But
what got me was Stallone's acting, the pain of dealing with the death of his
fiance by the hands of this killer, when he tries to commit suicide, I kept
thinking 'Here's Martin Riggs right after the death of his wife.' DETOX was
really interesting.. up to this point. Then they turn it into this unoriginal
slasher film.
Stallone get's sent to this DETOX center out in the middle of a snow covered
mountain wilderness to 'face his fears'. It's run by cops for cops trying to
get on the wagon and deal with what drove them to drink, shoot up, etc. in
the first place. We meet the other 10 people but we never delve into their
backgrounds except for a couple folks. We are presented with what could be
possible killers at this point also, but if you were to guess, it'd probably
be one of your two obvious choices. So one by one, as if they were at Camp
Crystal lake, cops drop like flies and it's a guessing game of who did it
(eventhough you already know in your head.)
There's two differnent movies here, and a pity one of them ended and the
Scream wannabe started. If Stallone is looking for depth in his characters,
why did he choose this role? I still admit, his best work was the first 15
mins of this film, before it turns into a slasher film. I swear that even tho
temp music was used for pace and timing (which eventhough this came in at 2
hrs, seemed like longer) I could hear that familiar ch-ch-ch-ha-ha-ha of
Jason Voorhees.
Well, here's hoping Rocky 6 doesn't become such an unoriginal movie. Maybe if
I could have gotten my hands on some heroin, I would have enjoyed this more.
Back to my cell...
Hey folks, Harry here with the last of the DETOX reviews. Mickey Knox's. Folks... He really doesn't like this film. And ya know... when ya read this review you sort of get the sense that maybe this movie isn't salvagable. It might just be one of those films that for the star and the studio would best be served by sitting on a shelf or released straight to video. Of course with the money invested in this one, they need theatrical release... But... The money they'll invest in prints, advertising, not to mention the inevitable reshoots... Of course they just signed that German investment deal at Universal and got a quarter of a billion in funny money to play with... Perhaps they'll play with that. I just hope I don't have to see the movie in this state when it hits theaters. I wish them the best of luck in fixing it.
I just returned from a test screening of DETOX, the new film from director Jim Gillespie (I Know What Film You Directed Two
Summers Ago) starring Sly Stallone (I Know How Fat You Got For That Miramax Flick Two Summers Ago).
The NRG Cretin stood up and said the usual stuff about unfinished cut and rough sound, etc. These people always look so friggin'
phony and miserable.
I like Stallone a lot. I thought COPLAND what pretty badass (his best flick in years), and I admire his new career direction (more
character based stuff... no more action crap). So it saddens me to have to write a negative review for this one.
Unfortunately... DETOX falls into that latter category.
It has ambitions to be a strong character piece for Sly (in NIGHTHAWKS mode)... and he delivers a decent performance... but this
film quickly devolves into a well made version of I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST WINTER with Sly in the Jennifer Love Hewitt role.
Here's a quick plot synopsis... with some MAJOR SPOILERS so beware.
Sly is an FBI agent with a beautiful young girlfriend who he's about to propose to. It seems that there is a cop killer/serial killer on
the loose... and Sly's cliche-ridden cop buddies are busting his balls for not having caught him yet.
One of Sly's cop buddies gets offed in the opening reel with a power drill to the eyeball. (Did I mention that this flick has a slasher
flick gore quotient?) Now I've got nothin' against violence in movies... after all MY NAME IS MICKEY KNOX for chrissakes... but the
gore here is rather cartoonishly presented (yet still intense)and is likely turn the ladies away on opening night.
While Sly is at the scene of his cop buddy's murder... the filmmakers take a nod from SEVEN and have the serial killer call 'em up
on the phone... taunting them. (Did I mention that the temp track includes lots of Howard Shore's gorgeous doom ridden score from
that movie? There was also temp music from THE DEVIL'S OWN, THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION, ALIEN and ALIENS. If I were
James Horner... I would demand royalties every time that brilliant "Ripley Escaping In The Drop Craft Crescendo" was used in a
trailer or temp track).
Sorry... I digress. Sly's girlfriend gets offed by the killer... and Sly rushes home to find her hanging from the ceiling with her eyes
drilled out. (Poor Dina Meyer... first impaled by one of Verhoeven's arachnids... then she gets two thankless lines of dialogue before
getting her eyeballs drilled out in this one).
Sly drifts into an alcohol drenched depression and (in the movie's coolest scene) slits his wrists with a pocket knife... sitting there
watching while the blood sprays out on the floor.
Sly's FBI buddy, played by Charles S. Dutton (remember how great he was in Alien3?), takes him off to a Cop Detox Center way up
in the remote Snow-Ridden Mountains.
The Cop Detox Center looks a lot like Jabba the Hut's palace in ROTJ. As a way of trying to get the audience to swallow this
"Ludicrous Yet Beautiful Excuse For Showy Production Design", Detox Center Prexy Kris Kristoferson(!) explains that it used to be
some sort of airforce testing center. Or something.
From here the movie quickly devolves into the umpteenth million variation on the "Ten Little Indians Trapped With A Killer In A
Remote Place While A Storm Rages" scenario.
The other miserable suicidal drunks in Jabba's palace are played by some good character actors... including Sean Patrick Flannery
(Young Indy), Robert Patrick (underrated T-1000 actor who needs to be rescued from B-movie oblivion), Tom Berenger
(remember LAST OF THE DOGMEN? Me neither. What the hell happened?), and some foreignish looking new actress who looks a
lot like the chick who smokes grass a screws Al Pacino in HEAT.
This woman is the "Platonic Love Interest Who Our Damaged Hero Must Rescue >From The Serial Killer (Who Explains his
Maddeningly Lame Plan From The Shadows) In Order To Symbolically Heal His Pain From Losing His Dead Wife/Partner/Family
Member".
Did I mention that he uses his wife's wedding ring to open a metal escape hatch in a tense moment? I love symbolism.
This is basically a February dumping ground movie. I hope that they make it better... but unless they do some massive re-writes and
re-shoots... I don't think that's gonna happen.
When will they learn that no matter how much you gussy up the dialogue and tweak with the ending... you still can't disguise a
script that has been made six thousand times already?
Imagine Entertainment is seriously slumming here. Did Ron Howard's intern submit this? Sly deserves much better. Much better
than ROCKY VI. This is not going to help Universal continue their winning streak at the box office. My advice to them is to take all
the money that they're gonna spend trying to scotch-tape this stinker together... and donate it to me. I am starting a fund to BUY
AND THEN BURN the negative to that wretched looking teen flick DRIVE ME CRAZY starring Sabrina the Teenage Bitch. I just saw
the trailer to that one and vomited.
As Kris Kristoferson says to Sly... "we're gonna detox yer ass!!".
Sorry that my rant was so long and negative. I really wanted this movie to rock.
Sadly... it did not.
Mickey Knox
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