Alright folks, the first really complete BOND 19 review... I've been waiting for a real Bond fan to get their grubby paws upon this film, and I can't wait to see it. I've done the whole trip with Bond this year. At first I could just care less... but then as the film has been getting closer and closer... my interests have been escalating. Recently I talked with a friend of Michael Apted about the shooting upon the Thames, looking at the second unit footage... and he seemed quite jazzed about the movie. But... hell's bells, you don't want to listen to me.... read on....

Oh Informative One,

Dude...long time reader, first time contributor.

So, like, last night, after managing to escape my own institute (not as expansive as Moriarty's, but still as productive), busy with the analysis of how the Milky Way Galaxy was conquered by submicroscopic aliens after Earth barely survived the Y2K debacle, I managed to motor on down to the WAY POSH MGM screening room last night to catch an advance screening of the new James Bond film "The World is Not Enough." The film was completely finished...including the GLORIOUS David Arnold score...which I MUST OWN RIGHT NOW!!! Unbelievable. He outdoes himself...the best Bond score since "On Her Majesty's Secret Service..."

Now, in true AICN fashion, before I get into what I thought, it's probably advisable to give readers a glimpse into my own Bond psychohistory. First off...I LOVE JAMES BOND MOVIES. All of them...even the really BAD Bond movies (like the snoozefest "A View to a Kill"). However, as a discerning viewer of motion pictures, I'm willing to admit Connery was the first and obviously one TRUE Bond...but hey...he stopped being Bond the year "A Clockwork Orange" came out, so why even bother to bring him up, right? Everyone already knows that...including Cubby's EON PRODUCTIONS...but that doesn't stop them from making BOND movies... Also...I LOATHED the last Bond "Tomorrow Never Dies." Sure, Michelle Yeoh was in it, but BIG DEAL...she wasn't given anything to do...and aside from running from bullets, Pierce Brosnan wasn't given anything to play, either...all the Bondisms were cut for time because of stupid teenage test audiences in Pasadena...(of course, it STILL turned out to be the biggest-grossing Bond...so, what the Sam Hill do I know???)

Which brings me to the new film, the EXCELLENTLY titled "The World is Not Enough," which everyone knows is the Bond family motto. Quite simply...I most certainly LOVED IT. By FAR the best Brosnan Bond. Now, I predict most viewers will really HATE IT, saying it's BORING, because it's not the masturbatory Bullet Ballet of the last film, but that's only because audiences these days equit Bond with John McClaine, which is a big mistake...Bond was always the coolest not because he could take any Megalomaniac with plans of world domination (like that ruffian Moriarty) out, but because he always knew not only the best Champaign to order, but the proper temperature in which to serve it at...and after enjoying the best life has to offer...THEN he kicks ass...

Without spoiling the plot, which takes many twists and turns, I'd have to say the tone of the film most closely resembles "From Russia with Love." A slow, intricate build, much character development and the action never overshadowing character. The teaser sequence, the LONGEST in Bond history, is OUTSTANDING, really serving to set up the film...and the Swiss Banker jokes are priceless, as is most of the banter in the film. You'll never look at a Cigar Girl the same way again...

Sofie Marceau ranks right up there with Honor Blackman's Pussy Galore...wow...she ROCKS...HARD. Robert Carlyle's Renard is also good...but does he rank right up there with Blofeld? Who's the villian and who's the henchmen here...? Well...that would be telling...Suffice to say...things aren't always what they seem to be in this film, which is GREAT. And finally, people TALK to each other in this film...Apted does a GREAT job of giving us back the witty, smart and charming Bond we all know and love. Thank god they gave Brosnan a chance to act...and act extremely well. He's not as good as Connery, but he's the best successor to the roll...and that new scar, or indent, or whatever above his lip on the left side of his face makes him even cooler...

And Judi Dench as M...LOVE HER...! Sigourney Weaver at sixty. Bond should do her, even if she is old enough to be his mother...what a great bounce SHE'D be...

So...all in all...I really loved this film...

But...and this is for the makers of Bond as much as your readers...here's what I thought needs to be improved upon...

Unfortunately, the action sequences, with the exception of the teaser, are rather generic...the best Bond action sequences BUILD...Layer upon layer...like the car chase in "Spy who loved Me." First, a missile-firing motorcycle...then a helicopter...then plunging into the ocean. The ski sequence in "For Your Eyes Only..." skiers...then motorcycles...then the bobsled course...nothing like that here...in fact...the most disappointing aspect of "The World is Not Enough" is the LAME ski sequence...sure...there aren't any process shots, but there's none of Willy Bogner's exhilarating POV camera shots either...and the Paragliders are frickin' SLOW...easy to get rid of. Note to evil henchmen...DON'T fly parachutes into the woods... Not a good choice. This is the second unit's fault...not Michael Apted's...

And when are the filmmakers gonna' figure out they need an EPIC BATTLE between MI6-friendly forces and the villains...there's a moment in this film which CRIES OUT for a massive "Goldfinger"-"Thunderball"-"You Only Live Twice"-"Spy Who Loved Me"-"Moonraker" battle...Robbie Coultraine should have showed up with an ARMY. But, it's not to be...maybe in Bond Twenty.

Also...the locations in the Brosnan Bonds simply aren't GLAMOROUS. As a viewer, I DON'T want to go there...sure, we've never seen oil fields in Kazakhstan before...but THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT. I WANT to go to Monte Carlo, or the Bahamas, or Greece and shack up with a beauty-marked babe. I don't want to go to a frozen oil field. While this film does Globe-trot...it only does so in the former Eastern Block...only getting as far as Turkey...and I'm GLAD i've never been there...bring back the palm trees...!

Finally, this Bond is a pastiche of all other Bonds. Attentive viewers will notice an overall passing resemblance to "A View to a Kill" (but MUCH, MUCH better) and scenes from many other recent Bond films, which isn't the best thing in the world...

What appears to be Q's final scene for all time is also WAY TOO SHORT...he should've exited the way Han Solo descended into the Carbon Freezing chamber in Empire Strikes Back...but John Cleese is a fine successor...

But...despite the caveats, Bond is finally back to being the MAN he always used to be...he gets LAID, kills in cold blood, kicks much behind...then gets laid again...! He just needs to drink more...but all in all...a FINE return to character for Bond...and he even says he works for Universal Exports...whoo-hoo...!

Oh yeah...and Denise Richards is in the film too...pretty ridiculous, like Tanya Roberts, but SMOKING to look at...she's in a tee shirt the whole time (even in the frozen Russian outback) and in the end it finally gets WET! (But Denise...what is UP with the implants? They never MOVE. You are already such a righteous babe...you don't NEED them...they're the WORST special effect in the whole movie...like a bad matte painting...)

All in all, a smart, very entertaining Bond film. Plus the very FIRST end credit says "James Bond will return." YESSSSSSSS. Check it out...twice.

Oh...I almost forgot...I just checked out out the special edition DVD of the third best William Shatner movie of ALL TIME, "Free Enterprise" (the other two are Trek II and The Intruder) and in the HUGE deleted scenes supplement there's this AMAZING French "Goldfinger" poster hanging on one of the character's walls...Connery punching out Oddjob...Gotta' have it...

Best regards,

Foundation founder Heri Seldon

The Seldon Institute for Psychohistory