Right now, I am an emotional wreck.

It’s PIXAR’s fault.

Thank you PIXAR.

I’m trying my hardest to think of what possible words I can write to express my heartfelt appreciation... elation... ecstatic Pavlovian drool joy geekgasmic thrust that this movie has left me.

I loved TOY STORY. I don’t know quite how to express what my feelings are for TOY STORY 2.

I’m trembling. My bottom lip is quivering. Yes, I understand... I’m supposed to be ‘ALL GROWN UP NOW,’ but I’m not.

Yesterday at a corporate meeting at GSD&M in coming up with the tagline for my BUTT-NUMB-A-THON poster, they referred to me as “a man named Harry.”

I instantly corrected them. I said, “I’m a boy.”

I am self aware of what and who I am. I am the personification of the TOYS R US theme. I’m Peter Pan. I don’t want to grow up.... and I never will. There are enough self-serious grumpy ulcer-ridden humans in the world. We need more six foot tall 350 lb children running loose upon the Earth.

And John Lassiter and the folks at PIXAR have just made the PROZAC for those children.

If I rated films. This is a 5 star film in a 4 star world. This is the popcorn machine from which that Popcorn Tub is filled. This is the entire side of beef in that world of four doggie bones. This isn’t two thumbs up, this is both hands raised to the sky while bowing on your hands and knees before all that I hold true and dear.

This is TOY STORY 2 through my eyes.

I’m still crying... I need to go sit in a hot bath and just calm down, but I have to write about this, I have to express myself, I have to somehow give thanks back to the hundreds of people that contributed to this... TOY STORY 2.

I had read the script, almost 2 years ago. Back when this film was supposed to be going straight to video. The day I began to write my plea to DISNEY to make this a feature film in theaters, the press release came to say they had done just that.

I loved that script. I felt that the story has cooler than the first one, that it was touching something a little bit more primal and true about friendship and a desire to belong in someway permanent in this universe of existence that we live in.

BUT...

This film and the current state of this film so far exceeds that script I read. I went into this fully knowing that I would love this film. It is not within the abilities of PIXAR to mess up when given a great script. And now... Now I realize something even more pervasive about PIXAR... There is sooooo much that isn’t on the page.

I remember being a cocky little boy walking into the AMERICANA theater thinking I knew exactly what was in store for me when I went to see EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. I had been in line for hours upon hours surrounded by loved ones, all expressing optimistic hopes that the movie would be... really good.

I was trembling when I left that theater. It opened up a new meaning to expectations to me. Didn’t change my life... But it did open a door into what hopes meant when concerning film.

Today, I woke up at dawn.... Bleary eyed and tired. Still a little down from seeing THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH... a film that didn’t understand itself or it’s own history or characters. I was a bit upset about that because... I love Bond movies and when dealing with hopes and expectations... sometimes it is not enough to just.... like something. I think that is what happened a lot with THE PHANTOM MENACE.... A lot of people really liked it... But ya know... it wasn’t perfect. Over the course of that film, nothing ever really topped the parting of the curtains and the darkening of the auditorium lights. For me... I was never pushed into the floor with sticky popcorn kernals like some felt by that film. I didn’t feel betrayed... I really really liked it. But I didn’t feel like I feel right now.

I arrived at the theater a full 2 hours before showtime, at a ‘critics screening’. Not that there would be a rush for good seats or anything... It’s just... this was TOY STORY 2. A sure fire really really good movie.

I’d seen the JESSIE girl toy, but I felt cold towards it in the Targets and Toys R Us’. I’d seen ZURG and thought... he’s ok. But I knew that PIXAR would not let me down... at the least, I knew I’d stand up and applaud afterwards... I have that type of confidence in PIXAR.

I stood outside the theater with Dad. My dad. And watched as two kids played tag with one another outside the theater, “Dad is base. Dad is base. Hey... You can’t tag me, DAD IS BASE!!!”

Heh. I remember that. Dad and I smiled at each other.

That’s when the manager came out and said, “Mr Knowles... You can take a seat if you want it.”

So Dad and I walked into this big Cinemark monstrosity decorated to make Las Vegas look understated. Giant standees of the various TOY STORY 2 characters.... FANTASIA 2000 giant floating scenes twirling up above.

The manager led us to the theater and Dad and I took our seats.

We continued to talk about what was wrong with the Bond films. How they lost their way, etc...

Soon more of the local critics arrived. Polite hand shaking. “Nice to see you again.” “How ya doing?” That sort of thing.

Then they let the kids in with their parents in tow. I love kids.... In some alternate dimension I’m a Kindergarten teacher or a clown in a circus. The three kids on the row in front and below me peer over their seat at me.

Their thought balloons appeared above their heads, “Hmmm, better keep an eye on this one... he might eat me.”

So I smile and do the cross-eyed bit. The kids begin playing peek-a-boo and their mother looks back and smiles. Kids rock.

At one point there was a slide on screen, no pictures, just text saying that Will Smith arrived to the premiere of WILD WILD WEST in a horse and buggy.

A child’s voice over my shoulder says, “That’s Wild Wild West Daddy!”

I look over my shoulder at the 4 year old, and hear the Father say, “How do you know that? You can’t read.... Can you?”

The kid just smiles, slaps his hands on his legs, giggles and blew spit bubbles.

Yeah... that’s perfect.

At this point, my legs begin to tremble in anticipation... I really really really want to see this movie. These kids.. I’m so glad I’m seeing it with them.

Finally, after an hour of listening to various kid happy noises, the screen goes dark and the projector comes to life...

“Alright... here it is,” I hear Moms and Dads saying.

Dad and I looked at each other and smile.

It’s the opening act of DINOSAURS, albeit toned down a bit... some of the more vicious aspects are not in this preview, but over all, I hear kids making ‘wow’ type noises.

Then the PIXAR logo with Luxo hopping out appears and once again, I hear, “Alright, here we go...”

And LUXO JR plays. John... that is really a great piece of animation. No faces... no expressions... just pure movement and MIME. Those lights have souls.

That’s what PIXAR does.... They don’t make magic... They create souls... souls that reach through all those pixels, off that 2 dimensional screen and touch our souls.

Then TOY STORY 2 starts.

I don’t know who you people are that read this. I don’t know if you are the type of person that can instantly shed all the emotional baggage and conditioning of life and shrink... That can watch, say FIGHT CLUB one day, and TOY STORY 2 the next. But I am.

In a great year of film, in my opinion, TOY STORY 2 is the best film yet.

In my opinion there is not one shred of doubt that if my vote were the sole vote in the universe, that I would choose this film to be most favoritest movie.... period.

I am elated. It was just sooooo perfect that I can’t even think straight.

“It’s just a cartoon... HARRY!”

No... no no no no no it isn’t. This is serious folks, I’m not playing around here. For me. Harry Jay Knowles, this film contains the secret of life.

Why we are here. What our sole existence is for. It’s about the very fibre of our beings. All told through the eyes and ‘simple seeming’ lives of toys. But it is soooooo much more than anything ‘Simple’.

You see. Woody, for me... is me... I’m the guy that a lot of people play with. Other folks love to hang around me, but at the end of the day I’ve always felt somewhat apart from it all. Then one day, I find out I’m really special. I get all this attention. People write articles about me, there’s my own TV show... Wow... This is cool. You begin to put your own personal value based upon all this other stuff... The TV show... the articles... That’s what it’s about.

Until you look at the people in your life that it really IS all about. Your ol pal REX and HAM and BUZZ and MR POTATO HEAD. Your buddies and confidantes. The ones you’ve been through hell with. The ones that’d take a bullet for ya.

You turn and you look at the ‘New Crowd’... The ones that want you to do the Show... The ones that need you to feel somehow ‘worthy’ because of your alleged ‘stature’.

There isn’t a choice. There’s not an (A) and a (B). You simply must choose friends and family. All the fortune and glory are nothing without living. And sure... you risk being thown away... scorned by your friends and family over time. But dammit... What if that doesn’t happen. What if she really is the girl of your dreams.... What if? It’s worth that risk, that heart ache and that pain, cause through this adventure of life... While you have peaks and valleys, it’s your friends that really see you through it all.

NOT ONLY THAT THOUGH! You can take some of your new friends with you. You don’t have to choose one situation over another... You can put them together. There can be a happily ever after.

It’s not about the assurance of happiness forever. It’s about being with those you love as you continue on this adventure of life.

If that is JUST a CARTOON to YOU... then I don’t want to know you.

PIXAR has created a film of such startling meaning and nuance and beauty and entertainment and just perfection that... That I am still friggin crying.

When I shut my eyes I can see those folks at PIXAR. I’ve met them. I’ve shook a lot of their hands, but as I shut my eyes, I give them all the biggest hug in the world.

BLESS YOU. YOU HAVE MADE ME SOOO HAPPY TODAY. You have made a piece of art that I will show my friends and family for the entirety of my life. BLESS YOU. The talent in that world of yours is so beautiful that...

I have to go now. Thank you guys and gals. Thank you.

The world is a better place for having this film in it. Now though. Now when I look at Jessie sitting right there next to my Woody doll now Jessie has a soul... so much soul. Zurg is soooooo cool now. All those toys that didn’t live before... now they have a heart beating inside of them.

That’s PIXAR... they’re wizards. I so wish that Steve Jobs and John Lassiter were in charge of DISNEY. They get it. They get it all. Everyone in this film gets it. It’s just so damn perfect. My toys are smiling at me. Thank you PIXAR!!!