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Harry's Review Of GLADIATOR

Hey folks, Harry here in San Francisco.

As many of you, I'm sure, have heard via TALK BACKS and most likely even other websites, the film that we screened here at the 1st Aint It Cool News Test Screening was GLADIATOR.

Now, I'm calling this an AICN Test Screening for one very important reason. GLADIATOR is one of those movies that we've had such strong word of mouth on from various test screenings and such that I just think that it was important to test the film to complete film geek/film fan audience and see how the results come out.

I'm sure that I will be running a ton of reviews from this screening.... Great reviews, Good reviews, Ok reviews and even the bad ones... if we get them. Moriarty has his review en route... and has the distinct advantage to having seen the film twice now. Yes... He sucks.

BUT... Now, while I look out my window upon FAO SCHWARZ and the busy streets of San Francisco... I will let my mind drift back to the screening.

GLADIATOR

This is the Ridley Scott that we fanboys and girls drool over.

Before the screening Moriarty had said to me that he felt that this was Ridley Scott's best film. Having had one viewing of GLADIATOR, I can not say that.

Why?

Well, I don't believe it is anything wrong with the film... It is just that the characters drawn in BLADE RUNNER are more personal to me and that is a film that has some very similar themes.

Both films are stories that contain themes about those who's purpose is to entertain and die doing it... while others merely take in that pleasure. Both contain themes of the prodigal son and the inadequate father... both contain facing your maker and coming to grips (or not) with why he does not love you as much as you want.

Both films reveal a world completely enthralling in scope and vision. Both films contain my personal favorite performances by many of the actors within.

BUT... I currently give BLADE RUNNER the edge because... Flying Cars rock. And being the film noir junkie that I am... And for the historic fact that BLADE RUNNER was the first 'R' rated film that I bought my own ticket for.

HOWEVER... Time will ultimately tell whether or not this film gets up there.

When Russell Crowe says, "I will win the crowd. I will give them something that they have never seen before." The utter shiver of coolness that goes through you is... electric.

Then there is the brief stanza of conviction that he utters after removing his gladiator helmet... delivered so well... so bad ass.... so cool that the audience had that rupture of "Fucking A!", "Ooooh Yeeeaaaah" and so on.

GLADIATOR is a great cool film. Russell Crowe is now very much in the position to takeover the badass bubblegum chewer award from Chow Yun Fat, Harrison Ford and Mel Gibson. When his Maximus has a sword in his hand or a trident or a shield or whatever it may be... When he walks out to the middle of the arena there is this feeling as if you could line up ten thousand men between him and his personal revenge goal and he would wade through them as though they were pond water.

BUT... I've gotten ahead of myself.

Ridley Scott begins the film with a dream... a vision before a battle. Now... You've seen pictures from this battle on the site before. We've had reports from the Huns that fought in the battle. Now... This battle is beyond science fiction in coolness.

There are thousands of men upon the forested field. Trenches of flame. Hundreds upon hundreds of flaming arrows darting into the air and down upon the Huns. There are gigantic balls of flame that are catapulted through the air crashing again the midsections of the trees raining down flame like Napalm in VIETNAM. Arrows the size of giant javelins thrusts forth from these amazing devices skewering people through trees, killing both man and horse. From a distance it all looks like bizarre energy weapons being hurled, tracer fire and... "Yousa men people gonna dieeee?"

Oh yeah.

Now fortunately for mankind, the print we saw WAS BASICALLY the final print.

Besides the opening and closing titles and some possible touch ups with Hans Zimmer's score that was magnificient.... this film is done. Which when I came... I wasn't expecting.

Apparently, GLADIATOR has just been awarded an R from the MPAA... and thank GOD.... Because giving this film a NC-17 and then forcing Ridley Scott to make this film... clean and palatable for the masses would be an affront to everything we hold dear in auteur vision and the purpose of film and cinema.

The violence. Split bodies, hacked apart arms, diced heads, burnt crucified bodies, trampled to death children, maggot infested wounds, dogs chewing upon the mangled foot of a man till it looks like chicken cartlege that you spit out.... This wasn't done by Ridley Scott to the ends of pornography. There is a dileberate purpose behind these hellish images.

They are there to remind us. Not in the antiseptic bloodletting of MORTAL KOMBAT, but in the visceral shock of a SAVING PRIVATE RYAN.

"Dirt is far easier to clean off than blood."

Throughout this film we are reminded that Maximus... the Spaniard... They who are about to die that salute us... These are people not meant for the arena... that noone is really meant for the arena. There are families. Crops. Other reasons to live.

This is a film that reminds of the decadence of Rome. This isn't THE FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE and it is also not SPARTACUS.

There will be ALOT of comparisons to SPARTACUS by the media at large... But this is a completely stupid thing to do.

SPARTACUS is about freedom... comparing BRAVEHEART or even the upcoming PATRIOT to SPARTACUS is more apt.

GLADIATOR is about honor and personal sacrifice... it is about making a difference. It is about surviving hell. And it is not about THE FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE or leading a slave rebellion. It's about controlling the mob conciousness. Manipulating the masses through popular forms of entertainment. And how entertainment and the distraction it gives the masses is important to the 'powers that be'.

And while it's about all of that... it is also just plain uber cool.

I can imagine watching this movie to the point of memorization. The film is as beautiful as the best work that Ridley Scott has done. For geeks that love CONAN THE BARBARIAN (which has a better score), EXCALIBUR (which is better photographed) and THE SWORD AND THE SORCEROR (which does nothing even closely approaching the quality of this film, but I still love it anyway)... this film is for us.

For Alamo-Man, FANBOYS dude, Tom Joad and Johnny Wad.... By the time you get through listening to me, Father Geek and Annette... you will hate us forever. I suggest moving to Seymour, Texas till release. Cause that's the last place on earth that'll I'll be.

Now... To Russell Crowe... Make a badass movie with Robert Rodriguez as quickly as possible. I want to be on a set watching you kick the shit out of Danny Trejo's ass.

Now... as I send this to you from the MICROSOFT SF store at the Metreon... I salute you.

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Reader Talkback

holy shit
by Everett Robert
Feb 25th, 2000
07:10:41 PM
Can't Wait! Only One Regret...
by abulafia
Feb 25th, 2000
07:11:49 PM
Wow! Great review! Thank you!
by canman11
Feb 25th, 2000
07:14:08 PM
Commendation through criticism?
by Martin Bishop
Feb 25th, 2000
07:29:45 PM
Hail Harryolocus
by Ionesco
Feb 25th, 2000
07:31:06 PM
Coulda SWORN it was gonna be Monkeybone...
by user id indeed!
Feb 25th, 2000
07:43:24 PM
kid rock?
by L'Auteur
Feb 25th, 2000
07:52:06 PM
L'Auteur? My god, where have you been?
by Niiiice
Feb 25th, 2000
08:36:19 PM
Actually JJ Fong, "alot" is a colloquialism
by Niiiice
Feb 25th, 2000
08:40:54 PM
I second that call for a score review!
by All Thumbs
Feb 25th, 2000
09:31:41 PM
I wanna be in a group
by user id indeed!
Feb 25th, 2000
09:45:02 PM
lksdfhlhgasl;ks
by devil0509
Feb 25th, 2000
10:11:08 PM
User ID, you're too lame for words...
by Mr.Grumpy
Feb 25th, 2000
10:19:39 PM
Three things...
by danhelm
Feb 25th, 2000
10:41:39 PM
My 'Gladiator' review. Spoilers ahead.
by Powerslave
Feb 25th, 2000
11:04:11 PM
Russell Crowe? GRRREAT!!!
by floob
Feb 25th, 2000
11:09:45 PM
This. . .sounds Godly.
by Sith Lord Jesus
Feb 25th, 2000
11:10:32 PM
Dirty Bird's Dirty Group
by Dirty_Bird
Feb 25th, 2000
11:14:40 PM
Meet and greet at Metreon
by KAmnell
Feb 25th, 2000
11:19:52 PM
in my own yard
by sherlock jr
Feb 26th, 2000
01:28:38 AM
Chow Yun Fat is way cooler then Crowe!
by Ogami
Feb 26th, 2000
01:50:10 AM
Do You expect a group of film geeks to react any differently?
by Malchizedik
Feb 26th, 2000
02:13:24 AM
Ryalto has a point/MPAA rating of film
by Lazarus Long
Feb 26th, 2000
02:13:54 AM
This sold out crap and a note to Harry from us Houston Talkbacke
by Nordling
Feb 26th, 2000
06:06:07 AM
Jim Ryalto has a good point...
by SamIAm
Feb 26th, 2000
06:15:01 AM
Better movie about revenge is...
by Chesire Cat
Feb 26th, 2000
07:36:12 AM
Better movie about revenge is...
by Chesire Cat
Feb 26th, 2000
07:36:33 AM
I feel like I've been treated unfairly...
by masse
Feb 26th, 2000
08:42:01 AM
Suck that fanboy?
by user id indeed!
Feb 26th, 2000
09:44:40 AM
When Harry met Todd?
by Fox Box
Feb 26th, 2000
10:03:14 AM
Rob Pussy-Boy Roy Sucked Weasel Eggs
by The Flea
Feb 26th, 2000
11:47:33 AM
Hey Warrior, was that you posting on the X-Men board?
by Niiiice
Feb 26th, 2000
12:00:06 PM
All Thumbs and Nordling
by Niiiice
Feb 26th, 2000
12:02:54 PM
I agree, Roman epics truly are the best!
by Niiiice
Feb 26th, 2000
12:37:05 PM
Niiice
by user id indeed!
Feb 26th, 2000
01:03:50 PM
Niiice...
by All Thumbs
Feb 26th, 2000
01:16:05 PM
This is totally unneccesary, but I just wanted to say that I thi
by superninja
Feb 26th, 2000
01:22:03 PM
sounds great ...
by Woodward
Feb 26th, 2000
01:54:25 PM
Have you seen the video cover for Fight Club yet?
by EL Duderino
Feb 26th, 2000
03:15:58 PM
Gladiator is going to do mediocre at the Box Office
by KentClark
Feb 26th, 2000
05:43:33 PM
Yes, the FIGHT CLUB box cover is awful...
by Ambrose Chappell
Feb 26th, 2000
05:56:25 PM
Is Ed Norton constipated?
by Ambrose Chappell
Feb 26th, 2000
06:01:15 PM
KentClark has got it backwards...
by Zinema
Feb 26th, 2000
06:34:20 PM
user id indeed!, All Thumbs and Warrior
by Niiiice
Feb 26th, 2000
06:53:25 PM
Thanks for getting my name right
by user id indeed!
Feb 26th, 2000
07:15:39 PM
Russell Crowe = Australian, not American
by Buzz
Feb 26th, 2000
09:31:22 PM
Actually Zinema, KentClark isn't too far off the mark
by Niiiice
Feb 26th, 2000
10:06:50 PM
Actually, Niiice... (and a further comment to Buzz)
by Loki Trickster
Feb 27th, 2000
01:02:06 AM
Australian?
by CorBlimey
Feb 27th, 2000
03:22:37 AM
As a film geek, I must tell you all that I have never drooled.
by squonk
Feb 27th, 2000
09:18:56 AM
GO "Gladiator"!!!
by floob
Feb 27th, 2000
10:19:14 AM
GREEK FIRE??
by Seward
Feb 27th, 2000
10:31:19 AM
Actually Niiiice, your response was non-responsive
by Zinema
Feb 27th, 2000
11:28:16 AM
Buzz: I happen to know Crowe is Australian. Ever seen a little
by superninja
Feb 27th, 2000
11:33:48 AM
Historical accuracy and whiners
by Jackass
Feb 27th, 2000
11:37:11 AM
Australia = 51st State
by George American
Feb 27th, 2000
11:55:13 AM
Whoah, Zinema....whats with all the hostility?
by Niiiice
Feb 27th, 2000
12:03:26 PM
Re: George American
by Lexicon
Feb 27th, 2000
12:24:01 PM
"Titanic" correction
by All Thumbs
Feb 27th, 2000
12:31:18 PM
'Gladiator' has been rated R for...
by Jeff B Demented
Feb 27th, 2000
01:48:31 PM
Whoah, Niiiice...why no answer?
by Zinema
Feb 27th, 2000
02:15:13 PM
Accuracy
by Seward
Feb 27th, 2000
03:58:40 PM
Three's Company/Mr Crowe
by Hrundi
Feb 27th, 2000
04:00:16 PM
Translation--Harry is a M***** F*****
by Seward
Feb 27th, 2000
04:21:49 PM
A lot like pussy??
by Seward
Feb 27th, 2000
04:40:37 PM
Zinema, do you even read? (And the way you mock my subject line
by Niiiice
Feb 27th, 2000
04:53:36 PM
Not-so-Niiiice
by Zinema
Feb 27th, 2000
05:49:03 PM
Thanks for providing some comic releif
by Niiiice
Feb 27th, 2000
07:46:44 PM
Crowe being Australian...
by Womble
Feb 27th, 2000
11:20:51 PM
Powerslave is right! Brian Dennehy ruins this movie! And why the
by Mickey Finn
Feb 28th, 2000
05:23:49 AM
Loser of the week
by Aicntb
Feb 28th, 2000
08:20:49 AM
HARRY- You went to the METREON?! whatta SHITHOLE...
by devil goat
Feb 28th, 2000
09:00:01 AM
To early to say love or hate
by Bamek
Feb 28th, 2000
09:04:32 AM
Stay home Dunces
by Rolande
Feb 28th, 2000
09:41:11 AM
Why would Crowe work with Rodriguez?
by CharlesPalantine
Feb 28th, 2000
10:23:16 AM
Russell should've been Qui-Gon!
by Kevi-Wan
Feb 28th, 2000
11:22:37 AM
I, for one, cannot wait.
by Vegas
Feb 28th, 2000
03:32:37 PM
Passing pedant
by Owatonna
Feb 28th, 2000
04:20:12 PM
Oh, and just in case
by Owatonna
Feb 28th, 2000
04:32:39 PM
Okay, Niiiice, I'll play it your way...
by Zinema
Feb 28th, 2000
05:28:24 PM
Ebert put it best...
by superninja
Feb 29th, 2000
05:24:23 PM
Zinema.....teehee...gotcha!
by Niiiice
Mar 1st, 2000
01:06:02 AM
Zinema.....teehee...gotcha!
by Niiiice
Mar 1st, 2000
01:06:36 AM
Niiiice...you ignorant slut!
by Zinema
Mar 1st, 2000
01:37:25 PM
maybe
by vasterny
Mar 3rd, 2000
01:10:33 PM
Gladiator
by The_Duke
Mar 8th, 2000
05:00:40 PM
Can I have an AMEN!!!!
by X-Ed
Mar 30th, 2000
03:15:18 PM
where's the review?
by mrb
Apr 4th, 2000
06:49:13 AM
History
by Shearer
Apr 22nd, 2000
03:43:28 AM
Cannot stress how much i want to see this movie!
by Bonniesansclyde
Apr 22nd, 2000
09:17:25 PM
Gladiator-Friends, Romans
by AlyFox
Apr 27th, 2000
11:57:42 AM
Warning! Two Hours and Forty Minutes! Of Tedium!
by Harmony Borine
Apr 28th, 2000
01:16:18 AM
GLADIATOR
by BLars
Apr 28th, 2000
04:35:29 PM
Tedium??--that's reading bad reviews of this movie
by BLars
Apr 28th, 2000
05:54:46 PM
Problem I had with the film and many others!
by Flow
May 5th, 2000
03:25:30 AM
Unleash hell indeed
by darius25
May 5th, 2000
07:37:13 PM
The thumb deal
by Lenny Nero
May 6th, 2000
12:47:08 AM
great movie
by maloos
May 9th, 2000
11:54:57 PM
Russell Crowe would make a cool James Bond
by DEVO
May 11th, 2000
07:19:13 PM
Gladiator Fight Sequences
by Elise
May 12th, 2000
08:08:05 PM
Gladiator??? Shite!
by albowski
May 14th, 2000
05:43:08 AM
hans zimmer is a fraudulent thief
by jamie
May 15th, 2000
10:08:56 AM
Gladiator
by Impact
May 15th, 2000
11:32:44 PM
Russ is H-O-T!
by peachie
May 16th, 2000
09:45:19 PM
Russ is H-O-T!
by peachie
May 16th, 2000
09:47:16 PM
Decent, but too pretentious
by Murazor
May 20th, 2000
06:44:52 AM
GLADIATOR
by GAMESEVEN
May 20th, 2000
05:49:42 PM
gladiator
by zacnerak
May 23rd, 2000
02:56:53 PM
Russell Crow is Yummy!
by Small One
May 25th, 2000
12:55:13 AM
frequency
by zacnerak
May 25th, 2000
05:06:20 PM
Scott just can
by Ghostbuster
May 27th, 2000
10:13:01 AM
GLADIATOR KICKED ASS!!!!!!!!
by mrwilliam
May 29th, 2000
07:37:19 PM
Gladiator
by Easy.E
May 30th, 2000
09:04:42 PM
gladiator
by ddd
Jun 2nd, 2000
06:57:53 AM
Gladiator
by Meridias
Jun 2nd, 2000
07:20:47 PM

by rvtmd
Jun 3rd, 2000
12:28:30 AM
Gladiator is What Star Wars TPM Should Have Been
by cyt
Jun 8th, 2000
09:41:11 PM
Gladiator is What Star Wars TPM Should Have Been
by cyt
Jun 8th, 2000
09:45:10 PM
Clutching my breast,...
by Bootz
Jun 10th, 2000
06:09:22 PM
Gladiator Kicks Titanic's ass
by rickdees
Jun 16th, 2000
11:55:48 AM
This Movie is What ST The Phantom Menace Should Have Been
by cyt
Jun 18th, 2000
07:47:52 PM
Gladiator motherfucking rules!!
by Movie freak
Jun 25th, 2000
06:44:22 AM
harry knowles review of Gladiator
by curiousyellow
Jul 4th, 2000
02:20:10 PM
Gladiator ROCKS!!!
by Jubieloo
Jul 9th, 2000
12:48:06 AM
Gladiator
by gorgeous
Aug 20th, 2000
04:22:16 PM
Academy Award Winner for Best Picture 2000
by utz_world
Mar 26th, 2001
12:07:39 PM
A new record?
by barryap
Sep 29th, 2005
01:25:23 AM
barryap
by thebearovingian
Mar 16th, 2008
10:19:09 PM

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