Good weekend, folks, our buddy Darth Siskel was kind enough to take the time to review a video release which invokes both great pleasure and ire, depending on who you are, and how long you waited in line last spring.
That which I speak of is that mouthful of a movie, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Now, I personally wouldn't lay down this kind of cash for a VHS tape come hell or high water, but although I will probably never possess this tape, I imagine my reaction would be similar to Darth Siskel's, posted below:
"I was out shopping for DVD's Friday, (March 24th) in the city that I live in (Lucas will never know the location of the rebel's hidden base!). I was taking my copy of HEAT on DVD ($12.99) up to the register when I noticed the Star Wars: Episode 1 video display actually had copies of the movie in it !! They had the PAN&SCAN VHS for $16.99, and the WIDESCREEN VHS "Collector's Edition" (I stress those quotes) for $34.99 .
When I asked the cashier about it, she said they just got their shipment in, and decided to sell it even though it's not supposed to be out till April 4th.
I already ordered the Japanese Laserdisc version , because VHS just plain old sucks, but I picked up a copy of the VHS widescreen edition for a friend. I watched it and here's my review.
F U C K I N G L U C A S !!!!
This thing lists for $39.99!! For a VHS !! How they justify a $15-$20 price difference between the Pan&Scan & Widescreen edition is by including extra crap with the widescreen one. The "Collector's Edition" comes with a booklet of concept art that is maybe 40 pages, taken from the StarWars books that we all already bought! There is a 10 min featurette about the making of the movie that is nice, but the Fox 1 hour special was better.
It also comes with a strip of film, maybe 4 frames, that is supposed to be from an actual reel that played in the theatres in 1999. A piece of history ? A piece of shit if you ask me. If they want to peddle this crap, package it with the action figures that go up in price $1 each year!
So, you pay $$ out the ass for stuff you might not even want just so you can watch the artists' actual work in an unraped state, widescreen. I pay for Collector's Edition DVDs all the time, and they are never more than $30, and they include commentaries, deleted scenes, trailers, etc. This fucking tape didn't even have the trailers on it !!!!!! "Collector's Edition" ?? More like "Sucker's Edition"
Now, I have a laserdisc and DVD collection, so I cringe when I watch VHS movies. Even though this movie is THX, blah blah, it looks like shit! If you think a full screen VHS movie is low resolution, try a Letterboxed one !! The movie image must be only 120 lines of resolution !! Fucking pitiful !! The Quicktime4 movies of the trailer were better ! And those we downloaded off the web !! I'm watching a 27" Sony w/ surround sound and I'm forced to look at 120 lines of resolution !?!?! How sad is that?
Of course, each time this thing is watched, it'll get progressively blurrier, glitches will appear, and ILM's great imagery will become even more undefined.
I give this video a 2 out of 10 stars. You're so better off waiting for the bootleg DVD, which will be mastered from the Laserdisc version. It will be a million times better than watching a VHS, and it'll be cheaper as well!
Lucas not releasing this movie on DVD is the biggest mistake since casting Jake Lloyd. And if the fact that Japan get's a laserdisc and we in the U.S. don't isn't insulting enough, the fucking Starwars fan club, which he owns, is selling the Japanese Laserdisc import to U.S. customers for $89.99 !!!!! Sleep on that.
Here's a pic of the great value:
-Darth Siskel-
darthsiskel@yahoo.com"
mail me at: elcosmico@austin.rr.com
Many thanks for your insights, Darth Siskel...although personally, I think Lucas not collaborating with a talented and honest screenwriting partner was a bigger mistake than hiring Jake Lloyd....or maybe it was allowing CG editors to engage in desktop cinematography...oh, I could go on forever. Anyway, have a happy day people,
-El Cosmico
