Boy, I thought I would be coping with Harry's secret mission to Europe a little better, but damn his jetting across the Atlantic to appear unannounced at the screening of a motion picture that I've been waiting to see for some time now is... well, disheartening to say the least. I keep thinking of the time he did this to catch a Paris screening of VAMPIRES a while back. That almost started a revolt among the hometown crew left behind. Well several of us got to see that uncut GLADIATOR print in San Francisco back in Feburary, and another event like that is set for mid-June and a group of us will be attending that one as well, but He's going to the continent somewhere and he left us all behind. It's just like in the DINOSAUR flick Quint's reviewing below the too young, the old, the sick and wounded... they just get left behind so the leader can get to the water and spawning grounds first... BUMMER... Well, anyway here's Quint...
Ahoy there Father Geek, other assorted geeks, ladies and gentlemen. The one and only crusty (and very salty) seaman here once again, this time with a review of the first big summer animated film, Dinosaur.
I really, really liked the movie a lot. What sucked about the film was it could have, should have been a classic. The animation was brilliant, the characters were solid, there were no outbreaks of songs, the villains were bad-ass... but that monkey. That goddamned monkey!
All the other monkeys were normal. Why did "The Love Monkey" have to be there? The comic relief? There was enough comedic lines and moments that didn't draw you out of the movie that he didn't need to be there. I can't imagine he was part of the original plan for this film. Everything else is so well done. His character seemed tacked on. The kids laughed their little 3 year old asses off, but every single person above the age of 12 groaned and rolled their eyes. The reason his one liners got to me was because they were riddled with modern day slang and references, which have no place in a movie set during the fall of the dinosaurs. One example: There's a scene where the monkey says, "I spy with my little eye... a rock!" You're supposed to laugh now... See what I mean? Using a driving game from the late 20th century as the point of a joke from hundreds of thousands of years before the dawn of man is... ugh...
I now know how most of you guys felt about Jar Jar. I didn't mind him in Ep. 1. The only times he got on my nerves was when he said some 90s slang term (exqueez me comes to mind). I felt the announcer during the podrace was much more annoying because everything he said was straight out of an average Nascar show. At least Jar Jar had some purpose in the movie. The monkey is worse than Mr. Binks and I'll tell you why. Jar Jar isn't the sole reason The Phantom Menace wasn't up to par with Empire Strikes Back. The monkey IS the sole reason Dinosaur isn't a great film. There are other nitpicky things about Dinosaur some people might argue about, but the only aspect in my opinion that is clearly wrong is that one character.
Enough about the one bad thing. Let's get on to brighter areas. The animation is jaw-dropping good. The combination of live sets and CGI creatures is simply amazing. The detail is mindnumbing. When one of the dinosaurs gets wet and crawls out of the water... he has hundreds of water droplets running down his face, over his skin and each droplet reflects the light perfectly. I was expecting the best and what I got blew me away. I can't wait for Titan AE or Rocky and Bullwinkle, but I can't see them having better animation than Dinosaur.
The villains. Two Carnotaurs being incredibly badass. Great. I'm glad they didn't go with two Tyrannosaurs. T-Rex's are always used. I love the look of the Carnotaurs. Very devilish and just as frightening as a Tyrannosaur. Great stuff. They are very scary. I was surprised at how violent they made this movie. Some of the stuff they do in this movie really pushes the PG rating.
The chase scenes got my pulse pounding and made me lean forward in my chair. I couldn't believe how involved in the movie I was getting as I was sitting there. That's the beauty and downfall of the film. Just as you start losing yourself in the movie, that fucking monkey has to show up and say his one or two one-liners that completely bring you right back out of it. This movie could have been a modern classic. It's tragic, really. Go see it. You'll see how close they got to a great movie.
All in all, this is one of the best kids movie to come out in a long time, next to Toy Story 2. It's a whole hell of a lot better than Packmen. So, you anti-Packmen parents out there, take your kids to see Dinosaur, buy them a couple of action figures and just keep them away from the WB channel. It's worth a shot.
I highly recommend seeing Dinosaur in the theater as the visuals of the film will be less engaging on the small screen. And the visuals are the one guarantee you'll have with this movie. They'll knock you down on your ass and you'll love every minute of it. Keep an eye out for the scene where the Brachiosaur has to get up. She's old, tired and very weak. Watch how she shakes when standing up. I love the little things like that. This movie's full of those small things that make a big difference.
Well, that should be about it from me. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, farewell and adieu.
-Quint
aicnquint@aol.com
