Hey folks, Harry here... and ya know.. a person runs across some wild shit when they come back from a foreign land. Weird answering machine messages, buttloads of email... strange ticking boxes filled with sticks labeled tnt... some sort of Turner promotion I think. Anyways... I get tons of weird stuff like I said, but then I got this from THE BARNEY...
All of a sudden I open this file and suddenly I'm staring at Carmen Electra in this adorably tight lilac colored top smiling and doing that come hither look... Doing an introduction... when suddenly she mentions my name. And suddenly I realize that some obsessed AICN fanboy has captured Carmen Electra and is torturing her until she speaks my name, so that he can enter the pantheon of cool geeks. OR... MAYBE Carmen Electra is secretly obsessed with me. She has strange unspeakable dreams about the beanbag man and his stick shift. She begins to wonder about the pleasures that can be had with Head Geek. And she forces this anonymous camera man named THE BARNEY to film her desperate and slightly nervous pick up line to Harry.
OR... Even more insidieous... A sly marketing person at Miramax believing Harry to be a desperate drooling fanboy obsessed with titties and having just come back from beaches filled with them in the worst sort of look don't touch policy... He devises a master scheme to have one of the world's most stiffening babes around to pull the ol whammy look on Harry and by attaching it to his trailer for his movie, he feels that Harry is enough of a boob hound to throw it up on his site for the world to see... And guess what? He's right. Or She's right... or the psycho fan is right. Which ever it may be, I'm a boob hound like my dear Professor, and this just tickles me like you wouldn't believe... heheheheh... God I'm gonna get roasted in Talk Back!
