Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some rumblings from the Lab.
HERCULES THE STRONG has been busy with... well... Herculean labors lately, and he's been kept too busy to drop by. Thankfully, tonight found this column hiding in my mailbox. Enough from me... here's AICN's favorite guy in a skirt. Or toga. Same difference.
DAWN-ING OF A NEW ERA
Who’s got the biggest scoops on season five of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer?”
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, of course!
Did Mr. McWeeny remember to stick a big spoiler button on this piece? If so, take that button seriously, and be sure to get back before Dawn. THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD!
The Post-Gazette’s TV editor, Rob Owen, apparently hauled himself out to Pasadena for the annual TV critics shindig last month, got “Buffy” supervising producer David Fury thorougly liquored up at a Writers Guild mixer, and rocketed back to Pennsylvania an armload of scoops for his July 25 column.
Some of the hottest tidbits:
DAWN. The Hollywood trade papers reported a few weeks ago that Harriet the Spy herself, 14-year-old Michelle Trachtenberg, would play Dawn, a long-hinted-upon character who enjoys a “sisterly relationship” with Buffy. What Fury let slip is that Dawn will actually be Buffy’s sister. Dawn is expected to be introduced in the fifth season premiere in much the same manner that The Initiative was introduced in the fourth season premiere: Dawn will remain off-camera and unremarked-upon until the episode’s final minutes, when she will emerge from her room eating a twinkie (or something), and the gang will treat her as if Buffy’s had a little sister all along. The Scoobies will dwell in this Dawniverse for at least five episodes. In the fifth episode, at least some of the mysteries of Dawn will be explained.
DRUSILLA. Spike’s demented ex-girlfriend, as embodied by Juliet Landau, returns to Sunnydale, but first pays a visit to an old pal in Los Angeles. This year will mark Dru’s first appearance since 1998 and Buffy’s second season.
GILES. Look for escalating threats to cause Rupert and Buffy to formally renew their association with the Watcher’s Council. Giles is expected to make a jaunt back to Mother England to negotiate the deal.
XANDER. Anya’s townie boyfriend will enter “the skilled labor industry.” Whether this means he’ll be made a junior watcher remains a matter of some speculation.
AMY. This infamous victim of one of Willow’s earliest spells may soon find her way out of the habitrail and learn for the first time of Christine Aguilera and “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.” Amy’s “de-ratting” may be related to a sudden growth spurt in Tara’s new pet.
Fury also does some Monday-morning quarterbacking on season four, making some interesting observations about Cyberdemon Adam, Maggie Walsh and even Angel’s old half-demon sidekick Doyle.
Owen’s spectacular Buffy column can be found here.
BUFFY’S SECRET ORIGIN
Speaking of alternate universes, some of the best fun I had this week I owe to PraetorJudis, who in talkback passed along this link to Fox’s (yes, Fox’s) original “Buffy” pilot.
This sitcom-sized 24-minute tale, which did NOT lead to a series, boasts the same Buffy, Giles, Xander and Cordy we’ve all come to know and love, but sports a shorter, chunkier actress in the role of Willow Rosenberg, and a post-“Groundhog Day” Stephen Tobolowsky as Sunnydale High’s principal.
The work is fascinating in the subtle ways it differs from the hourlong WB series, and demonstrates that even this FAILED pilot was leagues beyond the movie version that preceded it.
BIG BROTHER BAD BEHAVIOR
If you think foul-mouthed cancer survivor Eddie comes off harsh and mean-spirited on CBS’ “Big Brother” telecasts, you should have a gander at the Internet, and the Eddie behavior the network HASN’T shown you.
Eyebrows climbed toward hairlines way back on July 5, the first day “Big Brother” turned on its Internet streaming video, and we spied one-legged Ed making an off-handed reference to “motherfucking faggots.”
Apparently, comments tainted with homophobia, racism, and misosgency are no strangers to this 21-year-old college athelete’s lips, and regular viewers of the streaming video are beginning to catalog hard-drinking Eddie’s more controversial statements.
CBS has already come under fire for not airing the inflammatory comments, which might affect viewers voting for his banishment (should his housemates ever successfully nominate him for same).
Something else you haven’t seen on CBS: a “Big Brother” producer gathering the housemates together and making this announcement:
“We have major concerns about the hours you’ve been keeping and the amount of alcohol you’ve been drinking. We’re concerned about your health. We think you’ve been keeping hours that are unhealthy and you’ve been drinking to excess…”
At this point, all live streams cut to the chicken coop.
The New York Daily News’ David Kronke offers all this and more details on the controversy here.
THE ‘NOW & AGAIN’ IN ‘DARK ANGEL’
While James Cameron gets all the press and promos, one of the less-publicized reasons to look forward to his upcoming Fox sci-fi series “Dark Angel” is the participation of Charles Eglee, former writer/producer on two of the best primetime hourlongs of the last 15 years: “Moonlighting” and “Murder One.”
Now, Rene Echevarria, the young writer/producer who made his name on the critically-acclaimed sci-fi series “Deep Space Nine” and “Now & Again,” has also signed aboard “Dark Angel” as a writer/producer.
Echevarria wrote the lion’s share of “Now,” including the series’ final episode. His best-remembered teleplay for “Deep” is likely “Trials and Tribble-ations,” the time-travel saga he co-authored with Ronald Moore, which saw Ben Sisko meet Jim Kirk.
‘NIGHT’ VISION IMPROVING?
While I (and a good chunk of the nation’s other TV critics) found the pilot for Fox’s new Outer-Limitsy anthology series “Night Visions” a tad underwhelming, the nice thing about anthologies is they can get better in a hurry.
The pilot, starring Aiden Quinn, deals with a air-crash investigator who discovers he may have unexpected ties to the disaster.
A more promising plotline involves the U.S. Army investigating a farmhouse mysteriously separated from the rest of the world by an inpenetrable force field.
Besides Quinn, those signed to star in episodes of the anthology include Brian Dennehy and “Ally McBeal” vet Gil Bellows. Bridget Fonda and Bill Pullman, who appeared together in the movies “Singles” and “Lake Placid,” are also aboard, though it’s not clear if they lend their talents in the same “Night Visions” episode, or two different ones.
FOX FORCE ‘FREAKS’
Wondering if you’re ever going to see those three episodes of “Freak and Geeks” NBC never got around to airing?
You need only wait till autumn.
Fox Family Channel begins airing “Freaks & Geeks” on Fridays beginning Aug. 29.
I warn you not to defy me!
