Father Geek here again with our man Flint and his report from the set of THE VISITOR aka PLANET OF THE APES...
Hey, it’s your eighth favorite Hollywood spy checking in yet again with another report from the “Planet Of The Apes.”
After hearing so much interesting stuff and actually seeing some shots of the monkey men, I decided to tag along with a cute female friend to check out the action on this swinging planet first hand.
My amiga is involved in some peripheral duties on the movie, classified stuff, and said they’d get me into the soundstage with her “gang” as long as I remained inconspicuous. (As if I wouldn’t know that already. Like I’m gonna’ walk around yelling: “Where the hell's Zaius?”)
Anyhow, I met up with the girls over at “Base Camp” located across the street from Sony studios. (I still prefer to call the old place “MGM,” but that’s just me waxing nostalgic here.) It’s already been reported that this is the area where legions of simians are being put through their paces.
I overheard something that really surprised me: On this particular afternoon that I’d infiltrated earlier this week, one of the crew members was wondering how late they’d be shooting that night. Somebody replied: “Probably till one a.m. We got a lot of pages to do.”
Shooting this late involves MAJOR GOLDEN TIME, and I asked one of my hostess' just what she thought the budget was for this flick. The reply was “around a hundred fifty and counting.” Whoa.
So, the time had come and we were herded over to the soundstages. Since the sets at Sony have already been described in detail by others, I won’t bother getting into redundancy…needless to say the descriptions are accurate. The stuff is awe-inspiring. (Apparently, thanks to this production there’s a shortage of Styrofoam on the lot. I’ve never seen such realistic looking rock faces, you'd never know they’re man made.)
The security on the set is tight, and the guards are really, really rude. Try and give one of 'em a karate chop and you'd never live to tell about it. (However, I respect the guards since I’d heard a rumor they wouldn’t allow Tony Danza on the set when he strolled over and wanted a "peek.")
The paradox is that while entrance to the stage is heavily guarded and treated like Fort Knox, access to the apes themselves is easy since they’re basically walking all around the lot for everyone to see!
Game shows and talk shows are regularly taped here on the Sony lot, and apes have been schmoozing with the bussed in audience members waiting in line. I watched an eight-foot tall gorilla speaking to some tourists who were queued up to get into some Cybill Shepherd hosted talk show. The gorilla was wearing one of those “General Urko” style helmets and was drinking tea. A few of the tourists posed with this big spankin' monkey and took photographs and nobody confiscated the footage. (Who knows? Since some of the tourists were Japanese, maybe they were related to Sony execs. Tokyo like Los Angeles is a small town.)
One thing I found interesting, the apes traffic heavily around the craft service tables and are able to easily eat while still wearing their makeups. No need for chopsticks and straws like when the actors from the original flick got their hunger pangs.
Now, we all know there are gorillas, orangutans and chimpanzees on the POTA, but I saw A TOTALLY DIFFERENT species of ape in the mix. These guys were ALL WHITE and resembled something akin to a Sasquatch. This was no “Harry & The Hendersons” type benign beast, as these giants looked REAL SCARY. I made eye contact with one of them as the fella was crunching on some sort of Rice Crispy treat. His expression literally gave me the creeps. I think his eyes were red from either contact lenses, or maybe the dude was real tired.
One observation: The time I was around the production…I didn’t notice a single simian packing heat. There were no guns in their hands on the evening I spent.
I never saw the director, as it was mostly crew hustling and bustling around spending a lot of time setting up. Watching the makeup people touching up the apes and doing their hair was a pretty amazing sight.
Anyhow, while I didn’t get to see anything actually being shot… I was still mighty impressed by these apes I’ve seen in person. They are really lifelike and in the case of this new and debuting species… PRETTY DAMN INTIMIDATING. I don't think Chuck Heston would be raising his voice to these guys.
Happy holidays, my friends… and watch out for these distant cousins of Big Foot coming soon next year!
Your Man,
Derek Flint
