Ah mannnn, Harry here and this is really not what I wanted to hear regarding ENEMY AT THE GATES... I want this movie to rock my world, and who knows... maybe it still will, but Dizzyness here really comes down on this flick pretty harshly... we'll see. Anyway, here ya go....
Hi Harry!
Nice Site, long time reader, first time righter ;-)... the usual..
Anyway I saw Enemy At The Gates the other day at the Berlinale and I have a few things to say about it.
The facts: Enemy at the Gates stars Jude Law and Joseph Fiennes as two russian soldiers. Rachel Weisz (of Mummy fame) as an educated russian civilian turned soldier and Ed Harris as Nazi Sniper Major König. Directed by Jean something-or-other Anaud.
The verdict: This movie is BAD!!
The synopsis: It's fall 1943 (I could be slightly off, though). It's WWII. It's the battle for Stalingrad. A young russian boy gets elevated to hero status as a sniper by Russian-Propaganda, which lifts the spirits of the russian army, and eventually forces the Nazis to send their best sniper to take down the russian war hero.
The review: This film is annoyingly predictable and utterly disappointing, especially if you expect some kind of psychological battle between the two snipers. NOPE! No such thing here, only barely touched upon.. but no... this flick prefers to do things by the numbers.
It starts with massacre. Hundreds and hundreds of men (and later on women) get shred to pieces at the frontlines.
Followed by friendship. Vassily (Jude Law) and Danilow (Joseph Fiennes) meet amidst dozen of russian corpses, hiding from Nazis and after Vassily kills 5 of them via head-shot, they become best of buddies.
Followed by media/political criticism. Danilow, working for russian propaganda, turns Vassily into a hero for the russian army, by publicizing how many nazis he kills a day. "He gives them hope", as he explains to Chrushtchov (Bob Hoskins, no really!)
Followed by Romance. Vassily and Danilow meet Tanja (Rachel Weisz), who studied German in Moscow but now has to defend her motherland in Stalingrad. Danilow gets so horny the screen started to develop a bulge.
Followed by what was supposed to be a classic good vs. evil battle. Major König, high-ranking German sniper arrives to kill Vassily.
Followed by a totally predictable resolution of all the sub-plots that were laid out. Of course, Tanja chooses Vassily. Of course, Danilow is jealous and tries to take Vassily out by sending a discrediting report to his superiours, something which is never followed upon. Of course in the end Danilow sees the err of his ways, and sacrifices himself (rather his head) to help Vassily to find König. Of course in the end both Vassily and Tanja are the only survivors of the cast (apart from Chrushtchov, who later had a career in drumming with his shoe in parlament, as we all know.)
Problem no. 1 of this movie should be obvious by now. What the F*** is this thing about?!? I haven't got a clue, and neither did anyone on the set, I believe.
Problem no. 2: The romance seems totally out-of-place and fails to convince on any level; especially the sex-scene - yes, you read that right, sex at the front line, how romantic! Vassily and Tanja do it while the rest of the sniper divison is asleep in what seemed to be the sewers of Stalingrad. The most disgusting thing about it wasn't the dirt, or how totally inappropriate it was.. but the fact, that Tanja had a facial expression that can only be described as "Male-Fantasy". Her eyes wide open in... I-don't-know-what... Old Vassy must have had a HUGE club in those soiled pants of his... it was just... YUCK!!
Problem no. 3: Major König. The problem wasn't Ed Harris.. I think he was pretty good, for what little he had to do. It was just that... König was a more interesting character than any of the main roles. Despite the fact that he sends a captured russian soldier in a german uniform out, so the russian snipers kill their own man and therefore give away their position. And despite the fact that he kills a young little boy in cold blood, who worked as a double-agent. (The boy polishes König's shoes and tells him where Vassily will position himself tomorrow... of course it's all a bluff, and the boy is working for the russians all along.) Funny thing is, König tests him by telling the boy his own position for the following say but also tells him that he mustn't come back to him after this. The boy of course returns, as Vassily's attempt to kill König gloriously backfires, and König kills him, for being the enemy. You see.. the way I saw it König was just a soldier doing his job. Not any worse than Vasssily or any of the other russians, just better skilled.
Problem no. 4: Some things just don't make sense. When the movie starts all russians speak English. Ok, I thought.. English is a substitute for Russian. Makes sense, as all the germans spoke German. BUT... when König (Harris) arrives he starts talking to his officers in English. which means... he's talking to them in (movie-)"russian"... but why would they speak russian in the GERMAN HEADQUARTERS?
Problem no. 5: Plot points out of nowwhere. In the middle of the movie, we find out that Tanja is in fact jewish, and she tells us another of those Nazi-Sadism-Stories (Saving bullets by tieing two people together, shooting one in the head and throwing them into a river.) Right before she tells us that she wants to go back to the front. Which is apparently the only reason why Vassily and Tanja become lovers, because they spend time at the front together. Blatantly obvious, and poorly exectued story-telling.
Problem no. 6: I know this is supposed to be based (or was it inspired) by a book, which in turn was supposed to be based on facts. But as Bad Religion already said: Life is the crummiest book, I ever read there isn't a hook, just a lot a cheap shots, pictures to shock and characters an amateur would never dream up. (Stranger Than Fiction)
Which sums up the whole film pretty nicely.
His Dizzyness
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Finishing this e-mail, I would like to add a few words. And here they are:
Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
Thank you!
