Hey folks, Harry here with my pal the hustler of the seven seas, Quint... He's been the man amongst Macks at SXSW swinging with a triplet combination of Siamese mer-women, but while he sloshed their decks and cleaned their gills he never forgot his lot in life... TO LOVE AND LIVE IN A MOVIE THEATER... I've seen two of the three films listed below and concur on his assessment of both... expect an incredibly lengthy review on MEMENTO in the future... I've seen it twice and have very strong feelings to pass on to all of you... Here yus goes....

Ahoy there, Squirts. 'Tis I, the hustly-bustly crusty seaman, Quint, here once more, this time with some more peeks at some South By Southwest movies. I'm gonna do the mini-review treatment on them, mostly because of the sheer number of films, but also because some of these have been covered already and I don't want to repeat what others have already said. Here we go!

-MEMENTO: Holy crap! Movies don't get much more involving than Memento. The movie is about a man (Guy Pearce) searching down the raper and murderer of his wife. The catch is, he was injured during the attack on his wife and he has since lost all short term memory. He can remember everything up to the "accident" but after the "accident" everything is gone. If he concentrates really, really hard, he can remember ten to fifteen minute stretches. Then Poof! It's gone again and he has to piece together the clues again. If he gets distracted, he can remember as little as 30 seconds of time. Then the slate is wiped clean again.

So, if it wasn't enough that it's a detective story with a detective that can't remember what just happened, it's also told backwards. This reverse-linear timeline works very well in this context. In essence, we're getting the story in almost the same way as the lead character. We know what just happened, but don't know how it came about.

I've heard some complaints that the movie was just a big gimmick. Well... what movie isn't a gimmick? Movies take single scenes that were often shot at different locations and sometimes 2 or more months apart from one another and make them flow together seamlessly. The whole concept of cinema is a gimmick anyway.

Is the film deserving of all the praise it's been receiving lately? Yes and No. After my first viewing of the film, I was a tad bit underwhelmed. I knew I liked the movie a lot, but it didn't knock me on my ass like I was expecting it to. Then the next day I realized that I was still thinking about the movie. The day after that, I was still thinking about Memento and Guy Pearce's character... Joe Pantoliano's character... Carrie-Anne Moss' character and how they all interacted with each other.

Then I saw it for a second time and it played even better. So, you might find yourself a bit underwhelmed if you're hyped up for the movie, but I'll eat The Orca if you're not going to be thinking about the movie for the week following your viewing. I highly recommend it.

-HOW'S YOUR NEWS?: My Fair Spanish Maiden had seen this film last year at SXSW (apparently a work print had been secretly tested) and had been raving about it ever since. It's a documentary produced by John Pierson, Trey Parker and Matt Stone about a group of people from a special ed camp that go across the country filming a news show called How's Your News? When she first told me that, I was like, "My God, that's gotta be one of those things where you laugh at the disabled people, then feel bad afterwards for doing so." "No, no, no," she said. "It's a very sweet movie. It doesn't make fun of them at all." Uh-huh. Sure. Trey "Chomp-chomp-a-chewie-chomp" Parker and Matt "Gobbles! Timmah!" Stone were behind the scenes somewhere... there's gotta be some weird ass over the line humor in it.

"No, believe me," she said. "It's sweet movie. Trey Parker and Matt Stone didn't even want their names to be put on it because people would go in thinking that's what kind of movie it was." OK. I wanted to see it either way, so I made my way over to the holiest of theaters, The Alamo Drafthouse and sat my ass down in the packed theater.

The movie is touching, it's charming and it's not at all what I was thinking it was going to be, on either the "Let's make fun of these guys" point or the "Let's feel sorry for these guys" point. It just treats this band of guys like human beings, which wasn't what I was expecting. I know that sounds bad, but I'm just saying that I was thinking I'd get either the "How unfortunate for these guys being different from us" story or the "How funny are these guys being different from us" story.

The documentary is engaging, always interesting and very personable. You get involved with the group and are always wondering where they're stopping next and who're they'll talk to when they do. My favorite parts in the film were when they'd get the reporters out in the streets talking to the people. There was one reporter, I think his name was Ronnie, that had a fascination with a soap opera actor and would ask everybody if they knew who that actor was. He conducted the funniest and wittiest interviews I've seen in a while. He actually conducted more fun and enlightening interviews than I've seen from the majority of the press in a long, long time.

This movie has it's laughs, but you'll find you're never laughing at these guys, you're laughing with them. See this movie any chance you get. If it's being shown at a film festival near you, go out of your way to see it. If it's not, then you'll get your chance in Spring 2002 for HBO/Cinemax has bought the film is going to run it then.

-BARTLEBY: Going into this film all I knew was George McFly himself was in it and it was going to be a modernization of a Herman Melville story. I knew nothing about the story or whatever modernization it was undertaking. The opening credits rolled and low and behold the movie also starred another character actor that I love (and have loved since Night of the Creeps), Mr. David "Hello" Paymer. Not only those two, but Mr. Whiner was in the film! I haven't seen Joe Piscopo in years! I found myself suddenly much more interested in the film.

The first shot of the movie is Crispin Glover walking towards the camera in slow motion. I was like, "Fuckin' A! This movie kicks ass already!" And it didn't stop. The film is about a guy who is appointed head of a records keeping/filing division of a state office (played by Paymer) whose first real decision on the new job is to open a position at the office. Of course he tries to oversell the job. "Great pay! Great location! Great benefits!" etc. After a long and funny debate with the secretary (played by Glenne Headly who I recognized as being Richard "Hooper" Dreyfuss' wife in Mr. Holland's Opus) he lets her write the ad realistically. "Lousy pay! Crappy Location!" etc. Bartleby (Glover) is the only one who answers the ad.

Even though he's a little peculiar and shy, Paymer gives him the job. He's the only one who showed up! What else is he going to do? Bartleby gets the job and the rest of the movie is his interactions with the other workers and Paymer. The phrase, "I would prefer not to," comes up and all of a sudden, Bartleby doesn't say anything else. "Bartleby, would you file these, please?" "I would prefer not to." "Can you go make coffee?" "I would prefer not to." Soon, Bartleby and his catch phrase "I would prefer not to," becomes the bane of Paymer's existence.

Crispin Glover does some amazing work in this movie. It's mostly a comedy and Glover does some absolutely hilarious stuff in the film. His body language and eye movements and speech patterns... all always perfectly fit the scene he's in. If you get to see the movie, watch for the scene where David Paymer is trying to get Bartleby to help him tie a bow onto a present. It's a genuinely funny picture with a great lead cast and supporting cast.

I'm not sure what the distribution is on this picture or if there's any at all. I can't imagine this movie wouldn't at least get a direct to video or cable deal. If you get the chance to see this movie and like either Crispin Glover or David Paymer, then you're going to go apeshit for the movie. If you just like unconventional comedy, then the film is up your alley, too.

Hmmm... is there anymore I can say? Yes, there is. Is there anymore I want to say? Well... I would prefer not to.

Till the next batch o' reviews from SXSW, squirts, this is Quint bidding you all a farewell and adieu.

-Quint

You can chum yer bitter bits here ya swab!