Father Geek here with 2 advance reviews of the summer flick THE MUMMY RETURNS... pretty good news, but...

BEWARE OF SPOILERS!!!

Some of you may not want to read further, be satisfied with the knowledge that THESE two viewers had a good time with this flick which has much of the feel and tone of the first one... spectacular tongue in cheek adventure...

I got some skinny for ya from Sacramento. Tonight I got a chance to see The Mummy Returns. I think I better set the stage by telling you how I felt about the first movie before I say any more. I liked it. I'm not ashamed. Did I think that it should have earned any Oscars? No, but I had a lot of fun with it. I also may want to admit that I liked Deep Rising, too... it was kind of a shite movie, but it was really fun. So I was already a Stephen Sommers fan. I also should say that I love Karloff's version of the Mummy, but we all know that this is a different sort of movie all together. Universal may well be building themselves a new franchise here like (but not equal to) Indiana Jones.

So, the movie - it was equal to the most insane fucking theme park ride. Completely blew me away. I was psyched to see a summer movie this early in the spring and I'll just say that if this is typical of the rest of this summers' movies I'm ready for Memorial Day! It all starts with an awesome battle - and that's where we meet The Rock as the Scorpion King. I'm not a huge wrestling fan but at least he looks like a warrior. We're all getting accustomed to seeing big battles in movies like Braveheart and Gladiator and it's easy to think that this may disappoint - but it doesn't. There is chaos. There are thousands of people involved. There is swordplay. And there is death. So this sets the stage for the movie - the Scorpion King has pissed off the Pharaoh in the pursuit of control over the Army of Anubis. And, so, he is banished to wherever people are banished in the Egyptian mystical world. Cut to many, many years later where Rick and Evie (Brendan Frazer and Rachel Weise) from the first movie are exploring in an Egyptian temple with their son - they're married now, so in true sequel form they've got a mischievous kid (ugh)... but they're apparently still constantly arguing and in love. Evie is having some weird visions like dejavu and they find a magical box (aren't they all magical) which contains the Scorpion King's bracelet. They fend off some attackers and make it home... by the way their rich now - I guess after all of their finds in the first movie. So, the kid (who isn't as annoying as you'd think) starts messing around with the box, and puts on the bracelet and then starts seeing images of Egypt and a golden temple with a huge diamond on top. Theives come into their house looking for the bracelet and end up kidnapping Evie - who is used as a ploy to resurrect Imhotep (sp?)... The Mummy from the first movie. We start getting the hint that she may have been reincarnated at this point when she has a vision of fighting that girl who wore the mesh outfit from the first movie (my memory was jogged by seeing this movie's poster). This fight scene was great... imagine Princess Leia's outfit in Jabba's lair... put it on Rachel Weise and that other girl... give them swords, spears, and a couple other weapons... sit back and enjoy.

I'm realizing that I'm a shitty summarizer and that at this rate I'll be typing all night... so I'll start giving some highlights.

Imhotep is resurrected in order to take control of the Army of Anubis - who will be destroying the world in just a few short days. Rick, Evie, her brother, and that Magi guy from the first movie have to rescue the kid - who is the key to finding that golden pyramid and then taking control of the Army (because of the bracelet) They fight off a fuckload of mummies -- who fight harder and look much cooler than in the first movie. We see a surging water effect which is like the evil sand thing in the first movie.

There's a car chase involving a double decker bus and more mummies. We discover that Rick is probably a Magi (and that's why he keeps getting into these situations) and that Evie's roll in all this goes back wayyy farther than you would think. THE PIGMY MUMMIES ARE, QUITE POSSIBLY, THE COOLEST FUCKING THINGS I'VE SEEN IN A LOOOONG TIME - THEY'RE THE EVIL GREMLINS FOR THIS CENTURY. Rick gets riled up and kicks some major ass. There is a second HUGE battle between the Magi and the Army of Anubis. Rick starts getting an ass whuppin' by Inhotep and then the Scorpion King. FX were temp, but the Scorpion King is going to look pretty damned bad-ass. And I won't give up the end... but... hmmm... I smell another movie coming.

Anyway, I loved it. Theres constant action. There are constant effects. The humor is pretty much the same as it was in the first movie so its totally laughing at itself. Look, these aren't world class actors here - no one is exactly pulling any acting muscles but it's alright because of the non-stop action and even though the effects weren't final they looked pretty fucking good. Brendan Frazer pulled it off. He's not just full of quips, he becomes a full-fledged action hero. The Rock is really perfect for the role - total charisma. So, that's that. I liked the first one - but this was much more of a movie... much more action.

Later,

Lloyd "You Must Chill" Dobler

And here another... BEWARE SPOILERS...

Just saw a preview showing of the Mummy Returns, thought I would break my contract and spill the beans.

Let me run by some scenes that I saw tonight to give you an idea of what happens in the Movie.

First thing as probably everyone knows, Rick and Evie are married and have a kid in the movie, the movie takes place 9 years after the first.

The Rock is in the begining and in the end of the film. Essentially the idea being that he was the Scorpion King and makes a pact to save his life after his army is vanquished. After this pact a Oasis appears where the end of the film takes place, essentially so he can live since he is wondering in the desert about to die. Because of this pact, he is given a new army of undead sand monsters(as seen in the previews) to go desimate his enemies.

1933, Rick and Evie with thier new kid are running around another tomb, trying to get the braclett of the scorpion king, which leads to the scorpion king. Safe to say after a little action they get the braclett back to London. (So there you go the Movie doesn't really start in London) The bad guys are trying to bring up the Mummy from the orginal movie, and seem to do so with little trouble, which seems a little ridiculous. After they raise the oringal Mummy and attempt to get the braclett from Rick and Evie (You see they want the braclett to lead them to the scorpion king so he can raise the scorpion king's army so the orginal Mummy will be invinsible) Action in London ensues, where the bad guys get the braclett and go off to Egypt to raise the scorpion kings army, with Rick and Evie's kid in tow, because he accidentially put on the braclett. One last important note, one of the bad guys aiding the orginal mummy is Auxsanamul who is riencarnated.

Through a trick, the orginal Mummy gets back all his original powers. (very lame I thought) They follow the kid as he leads them to various sites to find where the scorpion king lies. (Note, the Scorpion King's oasis lies in Ethopia, not Egypt on the Blue Nile) The kid gives his parents clues to his location. Rick and Evie are added by a friend of Rick's who flies a ballon around to the various sites where the kid is giving his parents clues. They are accompanied by the other orginal good guy cast members from the original film. The Mummy finds out about this and attempts to drowned the group's ballon in a canyon on the blue nile. Before this we find out that Evie is in fact reincarnated herself, and is in fact the daughter of the Pharoh (Nefertti) that is killed in the first film and is not too happy with Auxsanmual. She remembers this and this is how she is such a bad ass in the previews, because apparently she was a fighting girl back in ancient Egypt and didn't like Auxanmual back then either. (some lesbian sexual innuendo in their past lives actually plays a role) Rick is also apparently a warrior of god as well which ends up playing little importance in the film.

The Mummy is accompanied by bad guy henchmen, who for various reasons (unclear to me) are trying to help him take over the world.

When they all reach the Oasis, both parties are attacked by guardians of the Oasis, little ugly guys. (the end of the preview) This is where most of the Mummy's henchmen bite it. Main characters reach the Pyramid just before the kid would die from the braclett. (7 days or he dies after putting it on, needs to get into the pyramid before sunrise) This is where Evie dies, killed by Auxanamaul, not making Rick too happy. Rick then goes on to track down the Mummy in the Pyramid right after the Mummy is stripped of all his power and forced to fight the scorpion king, who is by the way a huge computer generated scorpion with the Rock's head. Rick and the Mummy start to fight it out. All the while the kid and the brother of Evie (forgot his name, sorry) try to raise Evie back using the orginal book of the dead. (first movie) Evie is raised and starts to fight it out with Auxanamaul. Rick and the Mummy are fighting as well, the Scorpion king appears and briefly it looks as though the Mummy and Rick will fight side by side against the Scorpion King, but the Mummy tells the Scorpion king that he will aid him and is spared. The Scorpion King then fights Rick alone. All the while a huge battle occurs outside the Oasis between the Scorpion King army, which has been raised against Magi from the orginal film.

Safe to say after all this, the Scorpion King is killed by a spear that the brother carries most of the film. Their is then a position where Rick and the Mummy are hanging off a cliff. Evie and Auxanamaul can save them. Evie safes Rick, but Auxanamaul runs away, dissing the Mummy, the Mummy then essentially commits suicide into a firey pit then. (special effects need to be added) Rick gains control of the Scropion Kings army and tells them to go away, right before they desemate the Magi. Auxanamaul is killed by bugs from the orginal, like tripping into them. The whole scorpion king Pyramid and Oasis implodes into the desert sands. (very cool effect) and Rick, Evie, brother and kid all escpae on the ballon hovering above the Pyramid.

End of Movie

Overall lots of humor, better than the first in many ways, no character development to speak of, I still have no idea who the scorpion king is, and the Rock doesn't speak durign the entire film, not even in Egyptian, just grunts. The London chase is cool with the bus, the end is a much better timed than the oringal as well. Alot of effects, alot more than the orginal. Good characters, some parts aren't really used, the whole warrior of god for Rick or the Nefertti then for Evie all seems contrived, but overall pretty good. If I got some names wrong or forgot them sorry, they are in the orginal film for the most part, I hope this info is useful.

Sean Gjerde

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