THE MUMMY RETURNS Review

2 years ago on May 5, 1999 I saw THE MUMMY and walked away disappointed. I didn’t hate the film, I just wasn’t satisfied. And in that review (CLICK HERE TO READ IT) I laid out several reasons why the film didn’t work for me.

Sure, I had enjoyed the effects work… but I didn’t buy the relationship between our two leads… I didn’t buy that they were in the situations that they found themselves in. Everything was taken in stride… Nothing was of any real concern.

Also, in the first film… realistically, they were just treasure hunters that didn’t respect the past and were motivated out of greed, and The Mummy was their just deserves. They opened that which should not be opened and they KNEW the curse was there…. They just didn’t pay it any mind.

I wasn’t rooting for them. I wanted the MUMMY to win. His reasons were valid. He wanted to bring back the woman he loved, ruling the world was just a by-product of that love… nice sprig of parsley on the side admittedly, but still… that was a side motivation.

The film was crippled by an overage of tongue-in-cheek humor. Everytime Brendan and Rachel seemed to get somewhere in their romance, it felt like… Well, in 1998 I said, "I think there are hints of fire between these two, but just as I think I see a spark, a Harpo or a Chico appears to honk a horn and grab an ass." And that’s how it felt. Also at the time, I complained that for an ‘adventure horror’ film the score by Jerry Goldsmith was too happy, that there were not enough adventure flourishes or music of doom… That the film really needed to feel a bit more Bernard Herrmann-y or Miklos Rosza-y.

Ok… In 302 words I described my problems with the first MUMMY film. All the reasons why it disappointed me. Why I get pissed everytime I think about it.

Now, it is 2001, nearly 2 years to the day that I saw the first one… And this time I feel Stephen Sommers nailed it with a railroad spike.

First… this has to do with Character motivations.

This is not about greed, about ‘getting the treasure’ this is about passions. Passion for history. Destinies to be filled. Fighting for those you love. And STAYING ALIVE!

There is a scene upon the Jules Verne-esque air-transportation at the helm, where Rachel Weisz has a genuinely desperate look upon her face as she looks at the path before her. She has lost her son. The boy she shares her intellectual curiosities with. The boy she is so proud of. He’s out there somewhere, with a 3000 year old Mummy that would do anything to hurt her and her husband. And she has no idea where he is. From behind, Brendan Fraser walks up and hugs her… Her tears beginning to well up, you can tell she’s choked up as she talks about just wanting to hold him. To have him in her arms again. And Brendan promises that he’ll get the boy back. And in his eyes is uncertainty and determination. THIS IS WHAT WAS MISSING! YES! Give them something real, something that is their own. Something that they really care about. Something that doesn’t glitter and can stay safe under sand for a thousand years.

Finally I care about the O’Connells more than Im-Ho-Tep and his love Anck-Su-Namun. Finally I have a reason to care about them, a reason to care if they live or die. A reason to cheer when they escape the clutches of death.

And if their boy, Alex (Freddie Boath), wasn’t note perfect for me… This would be taken away. But this isn’t a dumb kid. This isn’t a home alone kid. This isn’t a child with animatronic sized eyes. This little fella knows his Dad kicks ass, knows his Mom is smart and knows that if he keeps his head, he’ll live through this. YES!!! Not only that… But the kid is genuinely in Awe of the circumstances he finds himself in. He is SCARED of the Im-Ho-Tep. He knows he doesn’t want to die. He knows he’s safe till they reach a certain location, and knows he will torment and try to take advantage of his cagers till that time. This boy is a boy… for real.

When I was a child… same age as this kid, I was being whisked around through the Yucatan Jungles from Mayan to Aztec to Olmec on down to even Incan ruins. My first grade teacher’s husband was excavating around Palenque, and for one month my parents took me out of school to join the expedition… sleeping in huts, studying Mayan Glyphs and dreaming of all the wonders of the Mayan pantheon of gods… their legends. In my spare time I read about Egypt and its mythology… and Greece and its mythology and so on and so on. I was a sponge for this stuff. And seeing this kid be smart and attentive. YES! Completely awesome.

Once in Mexico, I missed the train that my parents were on and that they thought I was on. Apparently my mother was panicked, but my father knew I knew what to do. I simply bought a new ticket and caught up with them at our next destination. No panic. No stay where I am. I had been told, if we ever get separated you know where we are headed. Meet us there. Done. No problems.

And I love it that they respect this kid by giving him that same sort of fending for his own survival ability. I’m tired of dumb kids that have to have adults do everything for them.

In the first film, there was soooooo much humor, here… we don’t have that. John Hannah is back, and to be sure he is a bit of a C3PO type character. A patent coward, but one that wishes he wasn’t. One that will step up to the task and wants others to be proud of him. He isn’t the hopeless bumbling loser that he was in the first film.

In the first film, Im-Ho-Tep’s right hand assistant was the bumbling honk honk wink wink Kevin J O’Connor. This time we have the excellent right hand man… Lock Nah… Someone that is everybit Oded Fehr’s Ardeth Bay equal in shadow. Lock Nah is a deadly combatant, he’s a partner in crime… and he is no joke. He genuinely wants to kill little Alex, but must wait. This is wonderful. No more sniveling… no more whining stereotypes… This guy is serious trouble.

Oh, and by all means, let’s bring up Oded Fehr’s Ardeth Bay. HE IS SO COOL HERE! I completely dig him. Screw a friggin SCORPION KING movie, I want the continuing adventures of Ardeth Bay, servant of GOD! Oded Fehr is simply wonderful to watch here… He exudes the coolness that the quiet hero type should. Giving him a falcon to deliver messages throughout the film is AWESOME. (Btw… I used to be a Falconer’s assistant when I was a kid too… Birds of Prey kick ass!)

That brings me to The Rock. Personally, I so don't see what the deal was. He's a big hulking looking muscle dude... who looks like he should be playing a saxophone in THE LOST BOYS and does nothing to prove to me that he can CARRY an entire film. Maybe there is stuff on the cutting room floor or in his screen tests... but in this film, there is certainly no great moments for The Rock. No angst, no sorrow, no happiness, nothing other than screaming, and speaking in a language I don't understand real gravel-y. I would praise 10 times over every other actor in this film before him. The Next Schwarzeneggar? Not by this footage. His character is made cool by the reactions of the real actors. By the reverence and fear they use when mentioning him... And finally by the creature design of him at the end... Which is where I really wish ILM had another 5 months or so of time to finish him. But... anyways back to the main characters...

And this time, instead of having Rick O’Connell and Evie defeat Im-Ho-Tep with a spell or a stick of dynamite or a weapon du jour… OH… I just love the moment. I love how it wraps up. The look on Arnold Vosloo’s face… FANTASTIC!

At every step of the film, I was happier. Oh… I had mentioned how the first film didn’t know if it was a comedy, an adventure or a horror film… Well… Stephen Sommers figured out what his Mummy Movies should be… FULL FLEDGED ADVENTURES in the best possible Republic Serial and Harryhausen fashions!

Oh… Remember how I had complained about Jerry Goldsmith’s overly happy score last time…. Well this time they replaced Goldsmith with Alan Silvestri, and Silvestri’s score is vastly better suited for the film. It has all the right action beats, wispy romantic adventure themes, ominous doom themes… Everything as it should’ve been the first time.

Oh… Have you noticed I haven’t been talking about the effects work yet? Have you noticed I hadn’t really been talking about the Action yet?

In terms of imagination, this film kicks the teeth out of the first film. Here we have gone so far past just MUMMIES… Here we have all forms of new coolness.

In terms of effects… VASTLY MORE EFFECTS WORK! Tons more. Now, if I have one complaint, it is that I wish ILM had had about 5 more months to spend fine-tuning their work on the film. BUT… Having said that let me talk about what is here and the action with it….

As someone that loves the Hong Kong spirit of action and mystical mumbo jumbo… I adore the MUMMY’s action. As someone that loves to death the Republic serials of old… The never say die, throwing your whole body into the action rumble tumble kick ass action of the chapter plays… I’m here. I’m so here.

This movie throws so much at me that I just sat there with utter delight. So pleased that I was sitting there. So happy that I was watching this film. As each new thing came on screen I would smile a little wider. YEAH! I would say. FUCKING A! I would say. THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL! I would say. I was a kid and this was my damn toy store tonight! I just met a lady that I went out with this past weekend who's kid is completely wide-eyed with wonder at the films I've been showing at my Saturday Morning Film Club For Kids... If she lets me, I'm taking her kid to see this film this weekend... It will blow his mind in the best sort of gosh gee whiz sort of way.

If this is the sort of film that Stephen Sommers wants to make… if this is the director he wants to be… if I get more films with the breathless kitchen sink and the disposal thrown in fun like this… I will await each and every film of his with a spark in my eyes.

The one flaw for me… Like I said, if ILM had more time… the film would have been even more so. But Sommers very much knows how to make this geek heart beat with enthusiasm, and for that I extend my gratitude. I hope I have more like this ahead of me this summer.

P.S. To Universal Marketing... I had to basically wrestle to get into this screening, as AICN wasn't on the list. Now, I don't know if you guys left us off the list because I gave the original a lackluster middle of the road review or not, but for Christ's sake have faith in your film. Just because I or any reviewer didn't like the first one, doesn't mean we're not going to like the second. It is obvious that Stephen Sommers listened to some of the criticism of the first film... took it to heart, and made a better film this time out. When you have a film this fun, you have nothing to hide!