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A review of JURASSIC PARK 3... can it be this cool'

Hey folks, Harry here.... It seems Supercake2001 stole about 90% of his 'review' was taken from a gentleman named Chris Maier who originally posted the material at IGN's Boards where he is a moderator. Remember folks, if you find something cool elsewhere, just point me to the link. That way the original author gets credit, and the original site gets the traffic. Don't try to pass it off as your own... that's uncool. As for Supercake 2001.... he's as phony as AT&T...

Hey folks, Harry here.... this Supercake 2001 fella has been e-ing me stories since March, but this is the first exclusive that I've seen from him... Is it valid... Well it matches up pretty darn tootin close to the review that Nick did over at CHUD months ago... but doesn't read like someone incorporating his review. Beware of immense spoilers... pretty much the entire film... deaths... everything is outlined here... but so those of you that DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANY TWISTS can get an idea of how the film plays... here ya go... Apparently it kicks ass really hard according to this guy. The score wasn't in place yet, but was temp tracked with John Williams' previous work, though Don Davis is scoring the final film. Also there were some temp effects by ILM... but the film reads like a non-stop horror action Dino flick... I can't Wait! GO JOE JOHNSTON!!!! YOU KICK ASS!!! Ok, like I said... IMMENSE SPOILERS AHEAD... here ya go....

Hey Big guy. Call me Supercake2001.

I recently saw a test screening of "jurassic park 3" & my review is gonna be a bit lengthy, so...here goes. From the looks of it, ILM is still polishing off the visual effects, and Don Davis of the Matrix still hasn't finished the score (jon williams was temp tracked), opening credits were missing, but the film looks like it's gonna make its july 18 release date. And can I just say---JOE JOHNSTON FUCKING RULES!!!

Four Years have passed since the incident on Isla Sorna and San Diego. The island is now off-limits to the public, but John Hammond has died and security around the island has been very shallow.

A group of thrill-seekers, Ben Hildebrand, Eric Kirby, are trying to get a look at the exotic animals from a boat. Using paragliders, they try to get a closer look, but the cords on the paragliders break and they are sent heading towards the shore.

They wash up, only to find themselves menaced by Velociraptors. Apparently their territory has expanded in the last four years. Eric hides in the trees and tries to get film footage of them (He has a camera.) Unfortunately the raptors kill Ben and Eric is left on the island on his own.

Cut back to the mainland. In Montana, Alan Grant is giving a lecture at the local university on a new theory of Raptor intelligence, which he was able to create thanks to his JP experience.

Grant makes it clear to his students that he has no desire to see dinos again.

Grant's dig site and theory are in danger however. He no longer has the funding from Ingen. Grant's personal life isn't exactly that great either. Although he did have a child with Ellie, she ended up marrying another man since Grant couldn't support her. However, Grant is approached by a wealthy-although estranged couple-Paul and Amanda Kirby (Played by William H. Macy and Tea Leoni). They want to take an aerial tour of the island with Grant advising them. Initially Grant declines, but Paul offers to fund his dig for another five years. This and a little coaxing from his protégé /assistant Billy Brennan (Face-off's Alessandro Nivola) and a meeting with Ellie turns Grant around-On the condition that they DO NOT land the plane, and that Billy comes along with him.

They head to the island. On board the plane, Grant has a nightmare about the JP incident, and dreams that raptors have taken over the plane. When he wakes, he quickly asks Billy to be partners with him at the digsite when they return. Billy agrees.

As they approach the island, Brachiosaurs raise their necks up, as if welcoming them.

Suddenly Paul tells the pilot Udesky (Michael Jeter) to land the plane on the runway in the south of the island (We didn't see it in TLW, but it's there) Grant's warns Udesky not to land, but he follows Paul's orders and does. Grant is furious-and even more furious when he learns the real reason the Kirby's wanted to land. To find their son Eric, and get him out safely, with Grant to guide them.

A small search party, consisting of the Kirby's bodyguards, Cooper (John Diehl) and Nash (Bruce Young) go into the jungle to check if there are any Dinosaurs nearby.

Grant, Billy, Paul and Amanda remain at the plane. Grant tells Udesky to take off at a moment's notice...

Suddenly, the group still at the plane hear a dinosaur coming. Udesky prepares to take off and is just about to when Cooper, a bloodied mess, comes staggering out of the jungle and runs for the plane. As he runs for the plane, a Spinosaurus (Dino of similar size to T-rex) comes out of the jungle and chases him. The group watch out of the plane window as the Spino rips Cooper to shreds.

While the Spino is busy eating Cooper, Nash runs out of the jungle. he appears unhurt and quickly enters the plane.

The plane accelerates off the runway and away from the Spino. Suddenly the Spino notices it and bats it to the ground where it smashes into treetops and remains.

As the group are recovering, they here the Spino coming again. It proceeds to rip the nose-cone off the plane, but is slightly injured by the propellers. Udesky runs into the fuselage but the Spino pulls him out and rips him apart.

The group cower in fear on the plane floor as the Spino comes to finish them off, then, suddenly they hear a familiar roar.

A Tyrannosaurus Rex emerges and there is a huge dual between the two behemoths.

The plane crashes to the ground and the group escape. As they are running Grant sees the Spino tear open the T-rex and the Rex falls to the ground dead.

Eventually, after hours of walking, they find Eric, along with what's left of Ben.

They all agree that they must find their way to one of the Ingen compounds on the island (There are two, so they go to the one that isn't in TLW)

The group eventually comes across an aviary by a river. Grant suddenly realizes they're in trouble, as the group is attacked by a group of Pteranodons. Eventually, the group escapes, barely.

They head down the river and discover an old boat with a large cage on it. It was used to carry smaller dinosaurs, like raptors before the island was abandoned.

They board the ship, and as it turns out, the vessel has a phone.

Grant calls in, but it turns out that a rescue can only be attempted by shore. However, the boat should take them closer to the outer part of the island and close to shore.

The boat sails through a valley of herbivores. There's a bit of character development here. Grant begins to start to think that Hammond was wrong-Dinosaurs and man cannot exist on the same planet peacefully, no matter what. Meanwhile, there's some moments with the Kirby's, who are somewhat estranged.

At night, suddenly the boat is jolted. The Spinosaur is swimming in the water. It attacks the craft, causing it to sink and Grant and co are forced to abandon ship.

As a result of this they now have to make it to the island exterior by foot.

They spend a few moments among the more peaceful Dinosaur species, when suddenly something disturbs them.

Raptors! The Raptors attack some of the herbivores-including an Ankylosaurus which fights valiantly but is killed.

Grant and the others try to evade the predators by climbing the trees.

Nash tries to buy the group some time by standing up to a raptor, he is killed.

The group leap from tree to tree, and manage to lose the raptors.

After a while they come to the abandoned Ingen lab. Grant hopes they will be able to find some food and supplies there.

In this scene there is a revelation about Ingen and Jurassic Park that is rather disturbing. They find out that Grant's theory is true, the geneticists mucked up the cloning of the raptor and they are still evolving. They have intelligence far in advance of any other animal. Grant also discovers that Ingen had continued cloning dinosaurs after the San Diego incident. This was how the Spinosaur came to be on Isla Sorna. Ingen had continued to clone more dino's up until Hammond's death, and Ingens bankrupcy.

The group stay for the night at the compound. But during the night the group gets attacked by Raptors again. The group manage to evade the Predators by hiding themselves in animal cages at the compound.

However, the Raptors are very clever, and do something intelligent (Involving trapping the group), which pretty much helps prove Grant's theory even more.

The group manage to escape again, but have to jump back into a cage when the Spinosor arrives. The intelligent (Involving kills a couple of raptors, and the rest run back into the jungle.

The Spino attempts to break into the cage, but these cages were built to hold. After a while, the Spino gets bored and it marches back into the jungle.

The group take a few paragliders from the compound, as Paul knows that they have to ascend a cliff face to get to the shore.

The group can see several military craft coming towards the island. knowing that they are almost safe, the group paraglide off the cliff. As they float away from the cliff, Grant suddenly turns back towards it. Paul, Amanda and Eric follow him but Billy does not. Grant has noticed that Pteranodons are heading towards them.

Billy though, is too far away from the cliff to turn back. The pteranodons attack his paraglider and he crashes to the ground. The pteranodons violently attack him and he is killed.

While the Pteranodons eat Billy, the rest of the group paraglide onto the shore and meet with hundreds of military soldiers.

They are headed by a costa-rican conservationist called Enrique. He tells the group that they must leave straight away, as the island is going to be destroyed. Grant persuades him to leave it though, and just make sure that no one is allowed any where near it again. Enrique agrees with Grant, and they head towards the ships. Just as they are about to leave the Spinosaur come sprinting out of the jungle and runs towards the boats. It is about to attack when the other T-rex runs out of the jungle and another fight takes place. Te group, again use this to their advantage and sail away while the dinos are distracted. As the ships head out into the deep ocean Grant turns. He sees the T-rex ripping the Spinosaurus belly open. The Spino falls to the ground and the rex begins to eat it. In the end the costa rican army set up a permanent barricade around the island, to prevent any more "accidents". all in all, i'd rank it above the lost world, hell, this is what the lost world should have been. come to think of it now, the lost world is gone from my memory! this is gonna be the boxoffice hit of the summer, you heard it here first. be there july 18, and tell em, supercake 2001 sent ya!!

supercake 2001, out!!

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Reader Talkback

Thanks
by Baba Reily
Jun 4th, 2001
08:44:45 PM
Whoa
by Baba Reily
Jun 4th, 2001
08:46:56 PM
Well she's faster than most and she Kills on the coast, uh-ah ha
by Drive! Kowalski
Jun 4th, 2001
08:49:08 PM
I am Jack's thorough movie review
by IamTylerDurden
Jun 4th, 2001
08:52:54 PM
Take notes Steve
by Rudy Duncan
Jun 4th, 2001
09:13:31 PM
I hope this guy is legit...
by Psyclops
Jun 4th, 2001
09:15:20 PM
Hey! I like T-Rex..
by littlenemo
Jun 4th, 2001
09:42:38 PM
Yes, I read this at www.themoviespoiler.com a month ago....
by Darth Pixel
Jun 4th, 2001
09:51:47 PM
Annoying Tea Leoni ?
by Horus
Jun 4th, 2001
10:00:27 PM
Deac Speaks..... Jurassic Park III, looks cool, and this review
by Deacon
Jun 4th, 2001
10:11:15 PM
Call me crazy but...
by Bry-Guy
Jun 4th, 2001
10:55:45 PM
Oh yeah...one more thing...
by Bry-Guy
Jun 4th, 2001
10:57:35 PM
Yeah. I'll believe it when I see it. Remember that A.I. review?
by Psyclops
Jun 4th, 2001
11:10:28 PM
Although he did have a child with Ellie, she ended up marrying a
by Junior D-Girl
Jun 4th, 2001
11:19:59 PM
Its complete SHIT!!!!
by Terribly_Mauled
Jun 4th, 2001
11:27:40 PM
And this is supposed to be a big deal?
by Solaris
Jun 4th, 2001
11:30:07 PM
stuffed poultries
by astrodog
Jun 4th, 2001
11:36:05 PM
This report is fake
by splat
Jun 4th, 2001
11:40:07 PM
GO Dan!
by Terribly_Mauled
Jun 4th, 2001
11:46:29 PM
JURASSIC PARK III TIMES THE EXCITEMENT!!!
by David Manning
Jun 5th, 2001
04:38:27 AM
probably fake
by vertigo93
Jun 5th, 2001
05:17:45 AM
Take it with a grain of salt
by ewem
Jun 5th, 2001
06:01:44 AM
wait a sec
by sigma957
Jun 5th, 2001
06:20:00 AM
"Thrilling! One great ride! One of the year's 50 best! I'd st
by General Idea
Jun 5th, 2001
07:15:41 AM
That's just Crapola Extrapolation. and TEA LEONI *IS* THE BOMB!
by Drive! Kowalski
Jun 5th, 2001
07:25:05 AM
JP III
by Spacesheik
Jun 5th, 2001
07:58:40 AM
I was *so* looking forward to seeing
by Ncontrol
Jun 5th, 2001
08:02:49 AM
Damn! The movie comes out one day right after I leave for Army
by themightyra
Jun 5th, 2001
08:16:45 AM
They could learn to write dinos too...
by surlymel
Jun 5th, 2001
08:32:23 AM
Harry thinks this sounds good?
by Portnoy
Jun 5th, 2001
08:39:45 AM
A Tyrannosaurus Rex emerges and there is a huge dual between the
by Wee Willie
Jun 5th, 2001
08:56:20 AM
Great review, though...
by Wee Willie
Jun 5th, 2001
08:57:05 AM
Costa Rica HAS NO ARMY YOU FOOL!
by DaMayor
Jun 5th, 2001
08:57:48 AM
Wasn't all this stuff in the orig book?
by Gawain_the_Stout
Jun 5th, 2001
09:21:12 AM
Don Davis? God no!
by Bramton1
Jun 5th, 2001
09:41:37 AM
Been waiting for this one!
by Silverhour
Jun 5th, 2001
09:57:30 AM
althought I LIKED JP 1&2...
by cifra2
Jun 5th, 2001
10:15:28 AM
"Ingen had continued cloning dinosaurs after the San Diego incid
by togmeister
Jun 5th, 2001
10:38:25 AM
Honey, I Ate The Kids
by Fatal Discharge
Jun 5th, 2001
10:55:35 AM
WOO-HOO!
by Turd Ferguson
Jun 5th, 2001
02:51:14 PM
Annoying trailer?
by ERoussos
Jun 5th, 2001
03:46:47 PM
Can't be worse than the Carnosaur Trilogy... can it?!?
by SethShandor
Jun 5th, 2001
04:37:36 PM
military soldiers
by 855K Scoville
Jun 5th, 2001
05:18:16 PM
The spinosaur grew to full size in four years? Its not just the
by Critical Bill
Jun 5th, 2001
05:18:54 PM
THIS REVIEW IS COMPLETELY FAKE (DAN & TERRIBLY MAULED ARE RIGHT)
by Shady Gray
Jun 5th, 2001
08:45:48 PM
Decipher this paragraph and win big, big prizes!
by Darth Taun Taun
Jun 5th, 2001
09:12:59 PM
fake, fake, fake
by revam
Jun 5th, 2001
11:52:56 PM
cover up your ass
by herzaaes56
Jun 5th, 2001
11:57:06 PM
ManOwaR
by herzaaes56
Jun 6th, 2001
12:06:04 AM
Is it just me
by DomisInnerChild
Jun 6th, 2001
12:59:40 AM
the beans are cold
by firebornRiggins
Jun 6th, 2001
01:25:48 AM
Domi'sInnerChild, you crazy galoot!
by user id indeed!
Jun 6th, 2001
08:43:02 AM
Everythings gonna change!
by Bry-Guy
Jun 6th, 2001
10:10:35 AM
Brontosauras Burger
by moviejones
Jun 6th, 2001
12:26:46 PM
Must be the same guy who 'reviewed' A.I.
by Impervius
Jun 6th, 2001
06:34:13 PM
reliable source
by voodoo95
Jun 6th, 2001
11:49:43 PM
this is all semantics...
by Westrum
Jun 7th, 2001
08:32:29 AM
I lost my job on 60 Second Review
by DomisInnerChild
Jun 7th, 2001
10:13:19 AM
Isn't this a prequel to JP2?
by LarryMullenJr
Jun 7th, 2001
05:30:56 PM
ok....FUCK THIS!
by KyleKrane
Jun 7th, 2001
09:49:19 PM
WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN??
by Seward
Jun 7th, 2001
09:56:26 PM
Costa Rican Army?
by vsurfer
Jun 8th, 2001
09:19:12 AM
Tea, Trevor, kid's name?
by FlickChick286
Jun 15th, 2001
11:25:43 AM
Tea Leoni is a bad actress
by terpsichore77
Jun 28th, 2001
08:19:34 PM

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