I am – Hercules!!

“Wasn’t anorexic when I wrote the joke!”
-- Bonnie McFarlane

A few observations:

* The relentlessly unfunny Kim Coles, Rich Vos and Tess (!) get to judge this year? How very fucked up is that? Let me answer that rhetorical question at this time. VERY. VERY fucked up. Would airfare for Dave Mordal break the bank, you halfwit motherfuckers?

* Are not the talentless homosexual Ant (happily and soundly rejected last season) and prelim judge Mark Read the same guy? Is this why Ant keeps getting the callbacks as long as Read has a say?

* Last year I thought it odd that Ralphie May was competing against a bunch of nobodies, because I’d seen (and remembered) Raphie a few weeks earlier on Kimmel. So how odd is it to see Jim Norton, Todd Glass, Bonnie McFarlane, Kathleen Madigan, Will Durst, Pablo Francisco and the once-hot (but still annoying) Sue Costello. Who are already all over TV. Well, not Costello, but Costello did actually have her own Fox sitcom for about 10 minutes during the “Seinfeld” era. How close was Nick DiPaulo to auditioning before he got that piece-of-shit “Shorties” cartoon on Comedy Central?

* Do the show’s producers actually have the testicles to dump some of these semi-famous people before the final ten are situated inside the house? I’ll bet anyone $100 McFarlane gets in. Norton too, if he doesn’t take himself out. I am the very saddest of Hercs now that Triana the Stripper (who is in NO way funny) doesn’t make it.

* Did the fool (and I’m guessing not entirely heterosexual) judges really have to get rid of that adorable Karen Allen/Amy Acker-looking girl who talked about speed-dating her grabby brother? She was way way dreamy, and American needed to see what she looked like in her jammies.

The real reason for this post:

Hiya Herc!

Just read your post on "Last Comic Standing"... If you liked the "shocker" of Dat over Dave last year (or, heck, Dat over anybody), this year will be right up your alley. There's some HUGE shockers that occur this season... the house gets filled with a higher level of professional comedians this year ("American Idol" for comics, it ain't - changing the show from "Last Amateur Comic Standing" was Jay and Barry's big mandate this season), and some of the eliminations were downright mind-boggling to the pros. (Didja notice how I'm trying to avoid saying names? I'd hate to ruin it for you if you don't want spoilers...)

In the immediate future, though - pay close attention to the Vegas episode that puts the initial 10 comics in the house. Yes, this is the incident where Drew Carey and Brett Butler walked out in protest (by the way, The Hollywood Reporter mentioned that Anthony Clark was upset too... but Anthony told me that this had nothing to do with the judging - he didn't really care; he was just pissed that craft services ran out of Heinekin). However, what the news rags DIDN'T really mention is that there was one performer in particular that was the "catalyst" for Drew and Brett's rage... he bombed HORRIFICALLY in Vegas, and then was still announced as one of the housemates, which was "proof" to Drew and Brett that the whole gig was fixed... which it was. In fact, also conveniently left out of the news columns was the fact that several of the comics' managers were approached WEEKS before the show taped to discuss getting them into the house! It'll be interesting to see how they edit the comic into the episode, since the set was supposedly so bad, even the notoriously generous Vegas audience turned on him. Can you get a guy in the house without showing his comedy? I won't tell you who he is (same reason... not sure that you want to know), but I will give you a hint - he's the only comic on the show that's played the Vegas finals TWICE: 1st season AND 2nd season.

- Polar

I am – Hercules!!

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