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mothandrust
by mothandrust
Aug 18th, 2008
05:07:12 AM
really? really?
Don't know yet.
by mrfan
Aug 18th, 2008
05:09:11 AM
Might check it out.
Razorback
by mothandrust
Aug 18th, 2008
05:09:33 AM
More people should see it. It was our first Rogue. Australia needs to make a Razorback vs Rogue. I know I suck, but I've never been first in all my years reading here... and I forgot to say it. Damn.
Lost Boys 2 is un-fucking-watchable
by Han Cholo
Aug 18th, 2008
05:17:39 AM
One of the worst, piece of shit movies I've ever seen. Though Feldman is the best thing about it, that's pretty much the only positive thing within the film.
Scorpion King 2 sucked buku donkey balls
by LargoJr
Aug 18th, 2008
05:17:53 AM
basically it was a typical Hercules or Xena episode... only longer with worse acting. Poorly acted, poorly told, bad effects, and the 'arrow cam' was done better in 'Robin Hood: Men in Tights'. Avoid this shit like you would a fathers day gift with every kid in the houses name on it.
And Starship Troopers 3 was soo bad I would have cried
by LargoJr
Aug 18th, 2008
05:26:53 AM
...but was too busy vomiting. The movie was HORRIFYINGLY bad. A movie about bugs that has no bugs. Also, they recycle footage from scene to scene.. watch for it and you'll see what I'm talking about. But the constant replay of the Psychic Fucktard singing was too much and I wasted my nummy Subway Steak Sammich on flatbread :(. Not even a couple shots of bewbies was redemptive enough. I didn't even recognize Jolene Blalock at first without her babydoll pantsuit and fake ears... she looked positively freakish. Van Dean's wife must have cut him off, cause I can't see any reason why he would be involved in this utter shitfest, other then to fend off imminent starvation.
Poor, poor Russell Mulcahy...
by SpencerTrilby
Aug 18th, 2008
05:29:10 AM
who's to blame? His agent, or his own choices? What a fucking godawful career after a promising debut.
about that evil dark magic
by Bloo
Aug 18th, 2008
05:56:53 AM
yeah you know I thought everyone remembered not to mess with that stuff
Don't forget Hannibal
by Silent Mark
Aug 18th, 2008
06:05:48 AM
He rose too, equally as badly.
"Sorbonian fantasy worlds"
by DocPazuzu
Aug 18th, 2008
06:17:55 AM
A genius label I've been looking for for a long time.

Kudos for the shout-out to Razorback, which is a great giant homicidal pig movie.

Vern, I LOVE Your Review Of The Secret!!
by SoWasRed2012
Aug 18th, 2008
06:21:25 AM
As a guy living with four female flatmates, I was subjected to that shit one evening. 'The Secret' (i.e. the DVD) had been passed on to them by a friend, and caused quite a stir among them, as if they'd just been given the Holy bloody Grail or something. 20 minutes in and I realised (as you pointed out) that they really were just saying the same shit over and over again, only replacing the nouns each time so you'd get The Secret can help you get money/cars/women/not cancer etc etc - I carried on watching out of morbid/train-wreck curiosity, only to find that after it had finished, my flatmates had actually taken this shit on board! What the fuck?! I quickly started pointing them towards Rocky and Shawshank, but nooooooo, The Secret was *it*, The Secret was how they were gonna fix their respective 'problems' in life. Made me sick.
russel mulcahy
by David Cloverfield
Aug 18th, 2008
07:20:23 AM
The man is an enigma. I love Highlander. Love it. And after that, it's not that he's making really bad films... he just makes odd choices at what to make. RE3, I had to watch twice, it was so crazy, and it's the only part of the film series I really enjoy. The Prophecy was good too. Why can't they give this guy a good project with a not ridicolous budget. (RE3 doesn't count as a good project, but he saved it anyway. Mila Jovovich Army. Holy shit!)
Please stop making these shit movies!
by SeymourClearly
Aug 18th, 2008
07:26:03 AM
Lost Boys 2 was a giant heap of human excrement!!!! Scorpion King 2 is another example of garbage film making. I rather see monkeys flinging feces at each other for two hours than watch these movies!!
Vern that was great, as always.
by Gilkuliehe
Aug 18th, 2008
07:35:43 AM
Will you be reviewing LOST BOYS 2? Pretty please?
The Rock more charismatic than Brendan Fraser?
by Knuckleduster
Aug 18th, 2008
07:40:45 AM
And Seagal is more badass than Stallone, right? Sorry, sir, but I respectfully disagree.
Plainview Rising
by Spandau Belly
Aug 18th, 2008
07:48:32 AM
We need some kid to play Daniel Plainview in a There Will Be Blood DTV prequel where we see Plainview's childhood trauma of getting molested by a priest and learning the ways of the samurai in the back of a bowling alley where he can only train with pins as weapons. It'll be like Bad Education meets The Big Lebowski.
Vern
by Knuckleduster
Aug 18th, 2008
08:00:13 AM
Have you ever thought of reviewing some of those knock-off "mockbusters" popping up lately. I know The Asylum makes a shitload of them. Movies like Transmorphers, I am Omega, AVH: Alien vs Hunter and 48 Weeks Later. Don't know if you have the time or patience for that kind of shit (I know I don't), but it would sure be funny.
I spit on Russell Mulcahy!
by Zombieflicker
Aug 18th, 2008
08:01:39 AM
He followed Highlander with Highlander 2, one of the worst movies I spent money on in a theater. That has to be the worst sequal in movie history. And you all think Lost Boys 2 is bad?
Spandau.
by Gilkuliehe
Aug 18th, 2008
08:03:54 AM
You forgot the scene where some bully kid actually drinks Daniel's milkshake... A moment as powerful and meaningful as Hannibal finding his mask in RISING and Leatherface finding a chainsaw in BEGGINING. Goddamnit, the worst thing is they are capable of pulling that shit. If they do, I'm blaming you, buddy.
It's Amazing
by BackwardGalaxy
Aug 18th, 2008
08:10:03 AM
All you have to do is switch every instance of "The Scorpion King" with "The Mummy" in the above review, and I'd agree with it.
I Just Fainted
by Media Messiah
Aug 18th, 2008
08:33:13 AM
Sorry!
Plainview Rising sounds brilliant.
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
08:34:59 AM
I nominate Rob Zombie to direct.
Vern
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
08:36:23 AM
Sorbonian fantasy worlds? Nice. Also, glad to see you mention Razorback. I think that might be my fave Mulcahy movie to date. I also remember Talos: The Mummy. With bandages that attack of their own accord? See that one, Vern?
Is Razorback most underrated b-horror ever
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
08:39:17 AM
The movie rarely gets mentioned, but when it does, universal praise ensues.

I for one was always more scared of those two brothers than the powerful porcine.

It also had the blonde lady show her breasts.

Nice.

One thing though..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
08:40:27 AM
Scorpion King better than The Mummy? I don't agree there, but it's ok. Scorpion King wasn't a giant travesty or anything.
In fact, with all the DTV..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
08:41:38 AM
It's time for Razorback 2: The Hog of War. Roger Corman Im waiting for my call.
You could have Big Ernie McCraken teach Plainview
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
08:42:32 AM
I can see him leading young Plainview up the stairs to a bowling alley for a little "fun" match.

"Father, please help me."

"Oh yeah, like I'm a priest." There goes the reason for his mysterious hatred for men of the cloth.

Also McCraken put sugar in his horse's gas tank.

Gilkuliehe
by Spandau Belly
Aug 18th, 2008
08:42:55 AM
Yeah, I can have a scene where Plainview is a young man working in a soda shop and some local misfits get a very long straw and steal the milkshakes by siphoning them out through the window. Then the shop owner comes back and sees that the milkshakes have all been stolen and starts beating Plainview and screaming "It's called drainage you idiot!"
Razorback 2: Hogzilla cometh
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
08:46:46 AM
Beast is able to breathe fire after consuming bag of red hot pork rinds and drinking vat of Fosters.
Highlander 2 was great
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
08:48:16 AM
precisely because it was so jaw droppingly insane and off from the original. Even funnier weas later that Renegade version. The planet Zeist needed to stay! It is unfortunate that none of the later movies could ever find their footing. But watching Connery use his life force to reverse a whirring fan to the strains of Amazing Grace on the bagpipes was schlock brilliance at it's height.
I'm rather surprised they didn't/couldn't get The Rock...
by thedarklinglord
Aug 18th, 2008
08:51:24 AM
I mean, he made Doom. Either he got paid a LOT (like, 75% of the movie's entire budget) or he's pretty agreeable to making shit movies so long as they keep him working. Oh, and I agree that The Scorpion King was a lot more enjoyable than The Mummy movies, for all the reasons mentioned in this review.
Ha! Jonah I forgot about Connery doing that
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
08:52:10 AM
Ah classic scenes of Schlock...

Reminds me of Rawhead Rex peeing on the priest.

I mean, who comes up this stuff at the production meetings?

Sorry. liked The Mummy way more
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
08:54:28 AM
Yeah Scorpion King had moments, The Mummy was goofy, good time at the theater.

Zen in the art of Vampire Slaying?
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
08:55:24 AM
That looks like it is on the menu for Mulcahy next. Anyone know anything? Also, this guy has a wierd uneven career that seems to involve doing modest profile pictures(Resident Evil, The Shadow,etc) and then DTV passable stuff, and just dreadful tv movies. What gives?
So did we ever hear anymore about the blood tests
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
08:58:17 AM
done on that Bigfoot the people in Georgia had in their freezer?
Also, why isn't Chris Lambert in this?
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
08:59:37 AM
Doesn't Mulcahy have some sort of contract that says the guy has to be in every fourth movie he directs or something?
Scorpion King 2!! FUCK YES!!
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:00:46 AM
An invisible scorpion??
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:01:24 AM
Does this mean, then, that it is not too late for Sommers to release the Special Edition of Mummy Returns wherein, the bottom-half of the Scorpion King, instead of being awful cgi, can just be invisible? Because that would be helpful.
Hello Chitty!
by toadkillerdog
Aug 18th, 2008
09:02:24 AM
I gave you fair warning - Neigh coming up!
Chitty Neigh means neigh!
by toadkillerdog
Aug 18th, 2008
09:02:46 AM
hah!
Jonah-- check it out...
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:03:32 AM
http://tinyurl.com/6zbbx8
O.K. I think I have stalled on the DTV titles
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:03:45 AM
long enough, that a marathon is now possible. Starship Troopers 3, Lost Boys 2, and Scorpion King 2. Perhaps though, if I wait two more weeks I can get Warlock 4 or Solarbabies 2: Wait, there was a Solarbabies 1?
Blood tests resulted in possum and human dna
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
09:03:58 AM
I don't know what is more bizarre. the opossum DNA or the human DNA.

How would they know if they did DNA testing anyway?

Do they have some real Bigfoot DNA to compare it to?

well played Toad..well played
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
09:05:14 AM
I didn't even see that coming.

Sucker punched!!!

Jonah...look at the pics of other creatures....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:05:56 AM
...on that page...
I had to fight Ganon invisible in Zelda
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
09:07:34 AM
It wasn't very easy the first time, so I'm sure an invisible scorpion king is even harder.

I'm surprised no one else thought of the invisible idea to save money.

Hello Everyone!
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
09:09:28 AM
This is our new home?
Danny..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:09:35 AM
it wasn't real?? Im outraged.
I try Chitty!
by toadkillerdog
Aug 18th, 2008
09:10:18 AM
Hey Fred! Thanks for the compliment - but I am not worthy.
Welcome Fred..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:11:32 AM
Worst case of saving money and not showing creature. Sphere. A movie that already had a big budget and couldnt afford to show the best part of the whole book, the giant squid attack. So in a high profile movie, we have hoffman and jackson and stone looking at a small, squid shaped blip on the radar, and screaming as the station shakes. LAME!
Scorpion King better than Mummy movies?!
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:14:04 AM
What?! I like cheap shit...but Scorpion King was so bad it was NOT fun. The location work was horrid....anyone who lives 30 miles north of Los Angeles can recognize every mountain they walk past. It is so obviously California terrain. And that cheap fucking rock music blasting every 30 seconds. I don't mind The Rock, but its easily the worst acting of his entire career. And that stupid side-kick was fucking annoying. He is the Arab Jar-Jar.
Danny, that is maybe a little harsh..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:15:50 AM
but I agree. Scorpion King looked terribly cheap. Especially the sandstorm bit and the fire ants.
So, do we take a TB to 2K then dump it?
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
09:16:11 AM
Sounds good to Fred
Yes, Fred..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:17:46 AM
I think as long as a decent alternative exists, that is the way to go. Today the Scorpion King Vern TB showed up and it was a no brainer.
Arab Jar-Jar
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
09:19:29 AM
was also sidekick in Trues Lies and Congo.

I liked him in True Lies, ecspecially when he pulled the gun out of the tv camera.

Also, how is it we get DTV Scorpion King..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:20:53 AM
but no Razorback dvd? WE NEED ANSWERS HERE!
Scorpion King was fucking horrible....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:22:20 AM
Kull The Conqueror was a much better film in all respects. Mummy 1 is fucking gold....I don't know how anyone cannot enjoy it. The set design alone destroys that piece of shit Scorpion King. That being said....the new Scorpion honestly looks better than the first.
Chitty -- that dude is George Clooney's writing partner....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:23:11 AM
...and he is okay in those other films. But his accent in Scorpion King?! Aye yay yay!!!
Not even on the charts yet
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
09:25:19 AM
Let's jack this TB up.

Jonah, lots of questions to answer, my man. I haven't seen Zebraman yet but I'm working on it. And I have CJ7, but can't get around to finishing it as something keeps interrupting. It's a cursed movie for me.

Pillow, sadly I probably only have about 700 DVDs and they aren't in a Vegas-esque underground vault. Most of them are in folders. I ran out of wall space (my ManLand area upstairs is limited what with the screen and seating) and decided to start taking movies out of their cases and putting them in folders. I store the empty cases in a closet.

Jonah, I just thought of a few more titles you probably haven't seen: Going By The Book, The Restless, Righteous Ties and The Show Must Go On so I'll include those as well.

As for everyone else, here's what you'll be receiving: Sinking of Japan, I'm A Cyborg But That's OK, Invisible Target, Protege, Shinobi, The Restless, Musa, Silmido and Yamato.

Chitty, Wolfie and Mavra will be receiving the original 8 from the first kit as well.

All in all, the next kit will probably have 12 movies for Jonah, and double that for everyone else. That's who you get for watching so many Asian movies, Mr. Echo! So I think its going to take me longer than expected to get them out.

"I'm sure Herc could fill us in on the details"
by Nico Toscani
Aug 18th, 2008
09:25:31 AM
Classic!
His best line ever
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
09:25:36 AM
When he is hacking into that computer via remote modem..

"Yes, I have my hand up your skirt and I AM going for it!"

Tom Arnold.."Just copy the goddamned files! OK?"

Danny!! Not Kull!!
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:26:56 AM
Holy crap that was BAAAD! And not even remotely in a fun way. Tia Carerre as an ancient sorceress! I'd have found Rip Torn more believable as an ancient sorceress. And mentioning Rip, let's not forget Beastmaster! Now that was good sword and sorcery cheese.
I saw Tropic Thunder this weekend
by toadkillerdog
Aug 18th, 2008
09:26:58 AM
Damn funny. Anyone else see it? The funniest part of all - for me, was when Jack Black is tied to the tree. I will not give anything away, but that was coca cola spitting hilarious!
HOD...
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:29:24 AM
I have seen The Restless. I know Im not in the position to make requests, since this generous venture of yours is totally free and out of the kindness of your very big heart, but could I also get a copy of "I'm A Cyborg'? I only saw it once, and it was a relatively poor copy, procured by a friend.
Rip Torn as a seductive sorceress-- YES!!
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:31:04 AM
I know Kull was crap. But I found it to be the sort of crap that knows perfectly well it is crap and has a fun time with it. Scorpion King on the other hand has a little too much confidence that it was some new bad ass Conan type film. I remember Rock in interviews pitching it like it was the most hardcore sword fighting movie we will ever experience.
Same goes for Japan is Sinking..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:31:28 AM
which I'd love to see again.
What I should have said was...
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
09:32:04 AM
..."As for everyone else, here's what you'll be receiving AMONG other things" as the shipment should clock in around 2 dozen movies.
fuck....Tropic Thunder got first?
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:32:33 AM
You're telling me I will probably have to continue seeing Ben Stiller tv spots for the rest of my life?!! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Also, we totally need to find a way to reciprocate
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:32:45 AM
all the generosity HOD shows us. Just havent thought of a way yet.
warlock 4?
by Bouncy X
Aug 18th, 2008
09:33:03 AM
seriously? did they really make this? lol
Japanese disaster movie....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:33:37 AM
What is that big budget disaster movie with great effects from a few years back that had that very serious trailer? Is that Japan Is Sinking?
never saw Shinobi: Heart Under Blade.
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:34:06 AM
it's on my queue though.
bouncy, no they didnt..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:35:20 AM
but I think Julian Sands ears just perked up when he heard it...I always think it was oneof the great travesties that Vidmark never released a Warlock vs. Leprechaun film. There is still time.
Jonah
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
09:35:31 AM
Just do me a favor, my good man and send me an e-mail with those title requests. Plus, if you see anything I've mentioned for other folks you either haven't seen or did see but would like a copy of, let me know. And if there's anything I'm sending you that you already watched and DON'T want, let me know as well.

Same goes for everyone.

In fact, should I just throw out a list of movies and everyone chooses what they want?

Danny, it is..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:36:29 AM
Japan is Sinking is great. I only saw it once, with some friends, but it was in my opinion better than most of the comparable crap we get over here. A certain large asteroid movie comes to mind.
Hawaiian, I'll leave it up to you
by just pillow talk
Aug 18th, 2008
09:37:56 AM
Personally, your selections have been impeccable.

Daisy may indeed be my favorite so far, but The Warlords was really great, and Chocolate was just insanely fun.

I would rather see a sequel to Boxing Helena.
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:38:16 AM
HOD...the list would be cool if it isnt too much trouble.
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:39:01 AM
Jonah...get any further with Babylon 5?
by just pillow talk
Aug 18th, 2008
09:39:53 AM
Curious to hear your thoughts...
oh, and the first Scorpion King sucked...
by just pillow talk
Aug 18th, 2008
09:40:45 AM
and not in a good way. The first Mummy was much better.
Boxing Helena....what crap.
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:40:51 AM
It couldnt even make the most of it's INSANE premise. It should have been crazy, but instead it was like a late night Cinemax special. What a skin-crawling use of Enigma as well.
Danny, check out Doomsday if you haven't yet
by just pillow talk
Aug 18th, 2008
09:41:28 AM
I guarantee you'll love it.
Jonah that hurt......Boxing Helena is my favorite film...
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:42:08 AM
...of all time.
Danny, you are correct sir
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
09:42:32 AM
Japan Is Sinking is their version of a Emmerich disaster flick. It's actually very entertaining and has some wonderful effects.

Jonah, I'll send you Shinobi so yank it from your queue. Use that spot for a Hollywood release.

And I'm not doing this expecting anything in return. I enjoy your reactions to the movies as much as you enjoy the movies themselves. You know, like watching somebody open the present you gave them on Christmas morning. It's almost better for the one giving the gift than it is for the recipient.

Although I will say this. If anyone here breaks into it the film industry big time, don't forget the Donor. Other than that, just enjoy the movies.

Yea..I mean, I might
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:42:36 AM
have one or two I'd like to see, but the best part so far is just watching what you send. I agree with JPT thus far. Daisy is my fave, though I havent finished Warlords and Chocolate was more fun than should be had from that premise.
if you guarantee it...then it will be so....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:43:09 AM
It is now on my queue. Is that how you spell that? Q U E U E?
Danny - I Thought Kangaroo Jack was your favorite?
by toadkillerdog
Aug 18th, 2008
09:43:58 AM
Finally saw Ong Bak
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
09:44:27 AM
Yes, the flaming leg kick was epic and I don't know how the stuntman received that kick without getting severe burns.

But the real treat was the elbow drops.

Jesus, I stopped counting after about 50 of them and the double elbow drop from above.

Spike also showed Kung Fu Hustle (classic) and Kung Fu Killer.

OK, a list it is
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
09:44:29 AM
Just going to take me a while to compile it.
Cool HOD, thanks..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:44:59 AM
and other than nixing Restless, only change I'd make is if you could send copies of Japan is Sinking and Im a Cyborg...otherwise, I'm good. I really want to show my wife those 2.
Kangaroo Jack is actually pretty cool....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:46:14 AM
I thought Jerry and Anthony made a great team.
HOD, you got it..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:46:30 AM
As I sit here writing Small Wonder: Rise of V.I.C.K.I. and tailoring the Vicki part for ScarJo, I'm writing in a rather large part for a character called Hawaiian Organ Donor.

Seriously though, consider yourself remembered. But dont hold your breath for my making the bigtime.

Chitty...have you seen The Protector yet?
by just pillow talk
Aug 18th, 2008
09:47:00 AM
Replace elbow drops with broken limps, multiply by 2.5, and you have the Protector. Add a heaping of thrown baby elephant and you have instant magic.
DOOMSDAY danny...it is right up your alley..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:47:46 AM
Just to whet your appetite, a line of dialogue:

"If you're hungry, try a piece of your friend!"

Chitty Have you seen Tom Yum Goong?
by toadkillerdog
Aug 18th, 2008
09:48:03 AM
Otherwise known as The Protector? I swear, I counted 14,756 broken left arms. 18m,732 broken right arms. 47,392 broken ribs. 2300 broken left legs. 1289 broken right legs. And three broken teeth.
HOD, forget the list ...
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:48:50 AM
You are expending so much extra time as it is. Just the ones I mentioned are fine.
"Doomsday Danny"
by just pillow talk
Aug 18th, 2008
09:48:59 AM
If you ever get banned Danny boy, I say come back as that.
Pillow - we were thinking the same way
by toadkillerdog
Aug 18th, 2008
09:49:35 AM
Tom Yum Goong is simply amazing. Tony Jaa HATES rib cages and right arms.
we are already cruising up on our old TB..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:52:31 AM
isnt that some kind of record?
Jonah Echo -- did you say tailoring the Vicki part for ScarJo?
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
09:54:02 AM
Now I might be into this....tell me more.
Haven't seen The Protector yet
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
09:54:10 AM
But if it amps up the kickass more than Ong Bak, then I will watch while wearing a football helmet.

I will search for The Protecter asap.

Jonah, let it go man. V.I.C.K.I. love will result in you going b
by toadkillerdog
Aug 18th, 2008
09:56:26 AM
Or being electrocuted.
The Protector rocks.
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
09:56:32 AM
Don't ever mess with a man's little elephant.
V.I.C.K.I Love will result in your going Blind Jonah
by toadkillerdog
Aug 18th, 2008
09:57:22 AM
Fred loved The Protector
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
09:58:48 AM
It greatest martial arts movie Fred has ever seen!
Kung Fu Hustle is brilliant
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
10:00:08 AM
I wasn't prepared for such perfection when I watched it.
HOD
by toadkillerdog
Aug 18th, 2008
10:04:07 AM
I do not have the love for KFH that you do. I thought it was ok, some of the extreme silliness turned me off though - and I like silly movies! It was not wire fu, but it was silly fu!
The Protector is good because of the elephant....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
10:04:11 AM
...it added so much more to the story. A guy sticking up for his pet/friend. Bad fucking ass.
yeah....I like 70% of Kung Fu Hustle.....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
10:04:57 AM
...but there were large chunks of that movie that really annoyed me.
KFH was part of a three piece asian movie night
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
10:06:41 AM
we did back in 2005. It was right in the middle, shown after Appleseed and before Battlefield Baseball. Obviously, the other 2 movies suffered in comparison. Kung-Fu Hustle has such a great grasp of physical comedy. I forgot to mention it in our great comedies talk the other day. Also, the fact that Chow finds an element of redemption for his villain when Kung-Fu Panda couldn't says much about Chow's brilliance.
Spandau.
by Gilkuliehe
Aug 18th, 2008
10:06:59 AM
Well played, sir. That scene had me rofling. The worst thing is I was listening to TWBB's soundtrack when I read that, and I almost bust a gut. Now back to the guys chatting and making the rest of the talkback irrelavant.
Gilkuliehe = COMMUNIST
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
10:08:08 AM
"Now back to the guys chatting..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
10:09:11 AM
and making the rest of the talkback irrelavant."

Awww.

Yeah, but when you deal with the powers of light
by cookylamoo
Aug 18th, 2008
10:10:18 AM
you either get wimpy no-fun powers or else powers so powerful it makes it look too easy.
we could be #1 within an hour if we tried...
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
10:16:01 AM
Lets do it!
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
10:17:52 AM
Jonah Echo, Fred totally agree that we need to do something nice for Hawaiian Organ Donor. Fred has no clue though.
Mike Myers cast in Inglorious Bastards!!!
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
10:18:07 AM
Holy shit...that is some fucking news!! Yeeeehah.
Spinoff, is the any word more pleasing to the human soul?
by g-ride9000
Aug 18th, 2008
10:18:17 AM
Hi, I'm Troy Mcclure, you might remember me from such TV spinoffs as "Son of Sanford and Son", "After Mannix" and "The Other Jeffersons"
Must not have been much of a political TB
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
10:20:24 AM
It is dying out already.
Lets do a topic..and I guess due to the muttering..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
10:24:46 AM
we will stay somewhat on TB topic for now. The work of Russell Mulcahy and his collaborators. Discuss.

Can you send beer via Fed Ex?
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
10:26:08 AM
I wonder if that would work or would it be one of those laws that nobody remebers and I go to jail for 15-20 years?

Free beer would be a good way to repay.

Also, I mentioned earlier Razorback
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
10:26:28 AM
being Mulcahy's best, but I think that has to be The Shadow. I totally think that movie deserved to be bigger than it was. In my mind The Mask got the love that should have gone to The Shadow.
Chitty, lets think
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
10:27:18 AM
about it a bit, and we can come to some consensus. I definitely want to do something.
I agree....The Shadow is a fantastic film.
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
10:28:39 AM
It has those cool Raimiesque zooms....really great photography. And Alec is perfect in the role.
Best part of Razorback is that it had good story
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
10:29:16 AM
You had the guy searching for his woman and the old man wanting redemption as well.

Also good work of when to show glimpses of Razorback.

Like when he is behind trough and flings it upwards.

fuck...I just went to imdb....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
10:32:28 AM
..every once in awhile I make the mistake of reading some of the posts on there. Fuck me....those people are truly fucking retards. Their posts aren't even stupid/funny like on here....they are just ignorant.
yea, it's really a shame
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
10:32:58 AM
that Mulcahy isn't more consistent with his work. I took a friend to see Resident Evil 3 at his birthday, because he digs zombie movies. I expected to sleep, but y'know, I had a decent time at the movie. It wasnt great, but it was a far sight better than the first two movies.
Resident 3 was probably the best of the bunch....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
10:35:44 AM
Ricochet was a fun action movie..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
10:40:54 AM
although I don't know I ever saw Blue Ice and barely remember The Real McCoy.
Also, what of Chuck Russell..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
10:44:52 AM
who has less credits to his name than Mulcahy, but seems to have followed a similar road. He directed the first Scorpion King, started out with writing Dreamscape, directing Nightmare on Elm St.3 (possibly the best one) and then doing The Blob remake. When I mentioned The Mask getting the love Shadow deserved, well Chuck did that one. These guys seem competent, but they seem to mostly work as guns for hire, despite having the talent for better things. I mean the last 2 things chuck did were Scorpion King and Bless the Child???
YOUR QUOTE:
by Arch Nemesis
Aug 18th, 2008
10:46:26 AM
"If you met a guy whose great, great uncle by marriage was a Nazi or a serial killer, but the guy you met wasn't that big of a dick or anything, you would think "Good for him." Same goes for THE SCORPION KING 2 RISE OF A WARRIOR." That was good. It made me laugh. I'll allow you to live, for now.
Ladies and gentlemen, your list
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
10:46:36 AM
If you haven't seen it, go ahead and add it. I don't think there's any crap on this list. This is simply to determine who doesn't want a particular title because they've already seen it. If you want everything, then just simply say "I WANT IT ALL!" and you're done.

1) Sinking of Japan

2) The Art of Fighting

3) Arahan

4) I'm A Cyborg But That's OK

5) The Myth

6) Save the Green Planet

7) The Restless

8) Shinobi

9) Musa

10) Tears of the Black Tiger

11) Protege

12) Open City

13) Yamato

14) Righteous Ties

15) The Show Must Go On

16) The Restless

17) Silmido

18) Rainbow Eyes

There's a few 2008 titles that aren't coming to mind
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
10:52:46 AM
But I'll chuck those in as well as I'm sure no one has seen them. And if I can find The Assembly (I'm guessing my daughter hid it somewhere inaccessible) I'll include that.
And I left the DIVX stuff off the list
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
10:54:10 AM
But you'll get those too Jonah.
So Red Cliff and what not..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
10:56:02 AM
are only divx?
And if anyone doesn't mind watching movies...
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
10:56:08 AM
...on their PC because their DVD player isn't capable of playing DIVX files, that's a few more movies for you as well, but let me know.
I forgot about Red Cliff
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
10:58:07 AM
I haven't checked to see what format it's in but I'll let you know tonight. That is actually the most important title of the bunch. Regardless, you're getting it Jonah.
HOD
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
10:59:29 AM
thats a fine list you compiled. Of the ones I have seen, I liked them all. You do have fine taste. Im almost tempted to just say SEND ME ALL, since there is nothing on that list I wouldnt watch a second time, or want to show my wife-like Save the Green Planet and Arahan. Will I set you back terribly, if I choose that option?
HOD...what started your love of asian culture?
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
11:05:22 AM
and what was the first asian film you fell in love with?
Why?
by Cotton McKnight
Aug 18th, 2008
11:10:48 AM
The Scorpion King was okay. I guess. I mean I like the Rock after all. But other than that. Why? Why did you see this? Why did you review it? Why is it on this site? Most importantly, what's wrong with you?
if we are doing this, can we get reviews of co-ed confidential?
by Cotton McKnight
Aug 18th, 2008
11:11:25 AM
They have some compelling storylines.
Russell Mulcahy IS Talented
by Saluki
Aug 18th, 2008
11:12:28 AM
I think the talkbackers above are correct, in that the man doesn't make bad movies, but they are lacking in some mysterious way. His movies look fantastic. Better than 95% of commercial action directors, past and present. He should be given a bigass production sometime soon.
Set me back? Nah.
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
11:12:46 AM
I've already got 7-8 copies of some of the above prepared over the weekend. Although I think I might be running out of DVDs soon. This is snowballing a little more than I expected and folks out of the blue are sending me e-mails asking if they can get a kit too. So I MIGHT have to break that list above into two shipments after all. One this week and another one next month. My wife is going to get suspicious why I burned through two 100 DVD spindles as it is.
Sword of Damocles and a minotaur?
by Irina Spanko
Aug 18th, 2008
11:13:32 AM
In the time of Sargon? Looks like they did their homework. Badly.
not so good news for Outlander release?
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
11:21:11 AM
http://io9.com/5038027/time-to -give-outlander-a-fiery-viking -funeral
Jonah-- its funny how that French critic trashes it....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
11:23:58 AM
....who the fuck would assume a French person would like this sort of film? It doesn't look like it has nearly enough scenes depicting aggressive sex.
Also Danny
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
11:34:45 AM
It also doen't have national treasure Gerard Depardieu.

Or Jerry Lewis, so of course they will trash it.

Jonah, the first Asian movie I saw was...
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
11:35:23 AM
...Enter The Dragon on late night TBS close to 25 years ago. I can't say I really appreciated it at the time. I don't think I saw another one until I turned 19 (drinking age in Canada) and Shaw Brothers movies were a drinking game staple. Of course that was the start of the 90s and most mom and pop video stores didn't carry Asian titles so we watched the same 9-10 movies over and over.

Then in 1993 I read a review about a little movie called Hard Boiled. And I searched high and low for it. In '94 it got an official North American release and it was everything I expected and more.

I immediately watched The Killer and A Better Tomorrow after that. By then my Blockbuster had a decent foreign section so I went through all of Kurosawa's stuff in a week.

The Asian movie scene outside of Hong Kong was dire during the 90s so I turned back to Hollywood for a while.

Then I met my wife. Four years ago I went to Korea with her and we were on the subway and they have TV screens and were showing ads for Tae Guk Gi, Arahan and Ong Bak and I thought, wow, those look great. So I picked up a few titles on DVD, watched then when I got back and the real love affair began. I signed up to every online Asian DVD rental service and had a dozen or more movies coming in every week. I was watching 2-3 a night.

Now all I want to do is spread my love of hidden classics, like Daisy, to guys like you.

You are doing a great job Hawaiian Organ Donor
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
11:37:29 AM
Fred really mean that. Thank you.
Vern
by WickedMonster
Aug 18th, 2008
11:40:27 AM
"Maybe they're setting up THE MINOTAUR: RISE OF THE MAZE LORD. Find out the tragic love story that got that poor bastard stuck in a labyrinth."

I spilled my coffee reading that. You owe me a friggin dress shirt, Vern

Yep, HOD is the man
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
11:42:49 AM
Martial arts, beer = good times.

Free Martial Arts movies, beer = Really good time. I am checking into the beer via fed ex thing by the way.

Also Enter the Dragon was my first viewing.

we're about to take #1....and we don't even have a topic...
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
11:43:30 AM
...really. Interesting. Its all....very interesting.
holy fucking cunt lips!! Bob Hoskins is in Doomsday?!
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
11:48:03 AM
Gotta disagree with Vern
by Big Jim
Aug 18th, 2008
11:49:32 AM
The Mummy was much better than The Scorpion King. During the opening of The Scorpion King I thought it was a parody of action films it was so cheesy and over-the-top. Even taking it only half-seriously seemed a stretch.

A prequel to a movie I didn't like that was a spinoff of a sequel that I thought was mildly entertaining? The Mummy 2 shows what Mathayus eventually becomes. The Scorpion King tries to show us that he really was a cool guy before absolute power corrupted him aboslutely. Maybe, instead of doing a prequel showing us events before the events that led to him becoming king, they could have done a sequel and show us how the king went from Tyrant-killing-hero to evil-must-rule-the-world-and-f ix-it-so-I-return-from-the-dea d-as-a-giant-scorpion-with-a-b ad-cgi-face despot.

Will Scorpion King 3 be a prequel to the prequel? "Scorpion King 3 - The Mathayus Chornicles" where a young Mathayus has to avenge his brother who is being picked on by the school bully.

Jonah, I forgot to answer your question
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
11:50:49 AM
With Three Kingdoms and An Empress and Her Warriors you have two big budget adventure movies that come close to living up to their potential. You have Andy Lau and Sammo Hung kicking butt in one and Donnie Yen kicking butt in the other. Short of the movie verbally assaulting your mother and stealing a beer out of your fridge, it's hard to dislike a movie that delivers all that and then some.

Massive armies, swords, arrows and kung fu, it's really hard to go wrong.

Hoskins was good in Unleashed
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
11:51:11 AM
Very good flick.
Bob Hoskins is briefly in Doomsday
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
11:54:13 AM
But he does a great job.

Exploding bunnies and cows are in it too.

BONECRUSHING ACTION!!!
by Banzai Rootskibango
Aug 18th, 2008
11:54:23 AM
Can 'rise of xxxx' be banned from titles?
by Lemming
Aug 18th, 2008
11:55:52 AM
I'm talking movies and video games here. It's just so crap.
I wish Vern would do ASMAD...
by NiceGuyEddie19
Aug 18th, 2008
11:56:58 AM
A Shitty Movie a Day.
New topic
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
11:57:39 AM
Movies you've walked out on.
I don't walk out of movies
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
12:02:26 PM
If I pay the money then I stick it out.

I even made it through Jaws:The Revenge if that says anything.

I walked out of Joe Dirt....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
12:08:33 PM
The only movie I nearly walked out on was...
by NiceGuyEddie19
Aug 18th, 2008
12:09:33 PM
Spider-Man. Not because of the movie, but because it was a late night showing. I live in the south, and one of our fine southern cultural institutions among my (mostly) African-American bretheren teens is to talk, laugh, and make extremely loud noises throughout movies. When you first see Toby's amazing physique after the spider bit him, the guy behind me finally went too far. "Maaaan, sheeeeit, look at his poo butt ass, yo..." and I stood up, turned around, flipped the cap off his head by the brim and told him to shut the fuck up or I was going to make a bitch of him. Y'know, he shut up. So I didn't walk out of the movie.
...and I walked out of X Men 3.
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
12:12:03 PM
And checked out MI:3 for the second time instead. I think those are the only two. In all fairness I did give X Men 3 another shot at home and then realized yes....this is indeed one of the worst films of all time.
I walked out of To Die For
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
12:22:04 PM
Unfortunately nobody in my group joined me so I stood in the lobby like a loser for 90 minutes.

How about movies you rented and couldn't finish?

De-Lovely with Kevin Kline and Ashley Judd.....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
12:23:52 PM
I tried to watch it 3 times....I just couldn't!! I've never had that reaction to a film before at home. Out of nowhere I start grabbing at magazines on the table or standing up and pacing around. I just couldn't sit and watch that terrible piece of trash. I dare anyone to attempt to sit through this film....ANYONE!!
walk outs..only two as well..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
12:36:28 PM
One was Species 2. The other was The Cell, and I even managed to get money back for that one because someone pulled the fire alarm and forced us all out for 15 minutes. The movie was a bit over halfway through, and I was on the verge of walking out before the alarm. When the fire alarm went off, I waited til it was over, and informed the theater manager that the interruption had thrown off our schedule, and we wanted free tickets, which we got.

I almost walked out of Timeline, because it was a free screening and terrible, but my friend wanted to stay so I did.

X3 is fine.
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
12:39:30 PM
The Cell is good.
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
12:40:04 PM
Fred has a topic: Favorite cartoons!
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
12:40:08 PM
Fred likes th old time cartoons best. Favorite of all is Foghorn Leghorn!

"Pay attention boy, im cuttin, but you're not bleedin"

"That boy's as strong as an ox, and just as smart too"

why The Cell Jonah?
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
12:40:12 PM
More Foggy
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
12:41:15 PM
Lookit here son, I say son, did ya see that hawk after those hens? He scared 'em! That Rhode Island Red turned white. Then blue. Rhode Island. Red, white, and blue. That's a joke, son. A flag waver. You're built too low. The fast ones go over your head. Ya got a hole in your glove. I keep pitchin' 'em and you keep missin' 'em. Ya gotta keep your eye on the ball. Eye. Ball. I almost had a gag, son. Joke, that is.
Spider-Man is mediocre.
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
12:41:29 PM
Who's repsonsible, I say who's responsible..
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
12:42:29 PM
for this unwarranted attack on my person?
with X3....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
12:43:13 PM
...Its not like I'm saying I'm all bad ass and left after 10 minutes. Naaawww......I was a dumb sucker....and I stuck around until that 30 minute sequence of Magneto moving the Golden Gate bridge to Alcatraz.....and then I said fuck this...I'd rather see Cruise and PSH go at it.
Nice boy but about as bright as a sack of wet mice.
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
12:43:16 PM
And more Foggy
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
12:44:07 PM
Boy, you cover about as much as a flapper's skirt in a high wind
Nice boy but he's all confused...
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
12:44:19 PM
shakes his head when he means yes, nods when he means no.
Foggy Love
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
12:45:36 PM
Now cut that out boy, or I'll spank you where the feathers are thinnest
"This boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball."
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
12:46:19 PM
"I always keep my feathers numbered for such an occassion."

I quote Foghorn all the time and no one, I repeat no one understands it. Fred, if you and I worked in the same office we'd be laughing all day.

Ok, last Foggy quote - for now
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
12:46:39 PM
Gal reminds me of the highway between Forth Worth and Dallas - no curves
Thast what Fred loves about this group!
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
12:47:47 PM
We are on the same page! - Fred loves Foggy!

Smart boy, got a mind like a steel trap - full of mice

That gal reminds me...
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
12:47:53 PM
of the highway between Dallas and Ft. Worth -- no curves.
movies rented but didnt finish..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
12:48:06 PM
The Piano Tuner of Earth Quakes...dear Lord this one was painful.

The Astronaut's Wife. This one was really painful for some reason. Tried to finish it twice, kept falling asleep.

13 Moons-just wasnt happening.

The Legend of Zorro. Never could finish that one.

A movie from the Cube director called Nothing.

Fast and the Furious.

And then there's Fearless Freep
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
12:48:15 PM
"I came to see a high divin' act and I'm-a gonna see a high divin' act."
oops.
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
12:48:21 PM
"Well, Paint me green and call me a pickle!!"
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
12:49:30 PM
Just had to get that one in
Sam!
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
12:50:24 PM
Fred's third favorite character!
The Legend of Zorro
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
12:51:58 PM
Was playing when that guy on the Greyhound went insane and sawed that poor dude's head off.
The Cell
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
12:52:24 PM
As I have often said, my favorite movies are the very visual, and this one had a four star review from Rog Ebert and trippy trailers. I saw it with my girlfriend of the time It had an interesting opening, and a decent premise, but as soon as we were introduced to the killer, I was put off by the sick imagery and glossy polish, and utter randomness of it all. It seemed like it wanted to be profound, but ti was just irritating the complete crap out of me. With each new scene I found my eyes rolling more and more. I wasnt happy to hate it. I wanted to like it. I tried again on dvd, and it still lost me. But thankfully Tarsem's 8 year wait between movies paid off. The Fall is a masterpiece and everything that one wasn't.
Missed again, ya shovel-nosed mackerel!
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
12:53:47 PM
Hawaiian Organ Donor -- I don't know which report you heard....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
12:54:23 PM
....I heard from a guy on the actual bus that it was certainly X3 that was playing. And it was specifically the scene when Rogue gets in line to be cured.
Russel Mulcahy rocks.
by TheNorthlander
Aug 18th, 2008
12:54:33 PM
He's one of the most underappreciated and underused directors with talent that's working today (same goes for Alex Proyas). It's a real shame to see him having to do stuff like Resident Evil 3 and this sort of DTV pre-pre-sequel crap.
If he made this I might actually rent it even though I hated the Mummy movies and didn't bother to see The Scorpion King.

That said, Highlander 2 is the second worst followup ever, right after The Phantom Menace.
Fred watched Johnny Dangerously this weekend
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
12:55:13 PM
Very funny movie The parrot was the funniest of all.
Yeah why would Rogue want to be cured?
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
12:56:13 PM
What's the stupid bitch want? to be able to feel the touch of another person some time in her miserable life? What a stupid whore.
Danny...you don't have to make that up bout X3
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
12:57:03 PM
As I mentioned in another thread, at a nearby theater here in Baltimore county, a guy shot someone to death in the theater during X3.
Sick. Don't ask. BANG!
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
12:57:09 PM
You missed fuckface! Raww!
DANNY YOU IGNORANT SLUT
by Arch Nemesis
Aug 18th, 2008
01:01:05 PM
Come on, "one of the worst films of all time"??? Seriously, it WASN'T one of the worst films of all times, it just didn't live up to your expectations that stemmed from the first two. I swear, I really don't get big sweeping statements like that. Some points are good in a movie and inevitably some aren't. But all in all it was a popcorn flick to escape in. I think most of our fellow 20 30 and 40 something geeks out there USED to just go to movies to escape, to let someone else take us on an adventure sometimes to familiar grounds and sometimes not, but that's what it was. Now all of a sudden if something's not absolutely perfect ot's panned as the worst godawful creation ever that raped our 9 bucks etc. Overreaction. For instance, my girlfriend and I are on vacation and we decided last night to catch Clone Wars despite the hatred on these boards (and I really liked Genndy's take on it so I was admidedly a little worried it would suck). Long story short, it wasn't amazing, it didn't change my world, it didn't "breath new life into Star Wars" for me or anything like that but despite the ridiculous Ziro the Hutt and the stiff line here and there (again, anyone who says "here or there?!?" needs to do some research and look up criticism of the OT, even the actors joked about it) its pascing was fun, resembling the movies, most of the music was good enough, and ultimately it was a couple hours of genre escape. We left the theater both saying yeah, that was fun, kinda cool. It boggles my mind that everyone shits their pants if something isn't Empire Strikes Back or the freaking Ilyiad.
Haven't ever walked out of a movie
by Big Jim
Aug 18th, 2008
01:01:22 PM
I figure I've paid and maybe, just maybe, everything will come together in the end and make it all worthwhile.

One example, watched this movie with Tom Berenger & Daphne Zuniga at home. We started making fun of Zuniga's accent and the fact that she couldn't hold it - it seemed so poorly done. But later in the film we found out her character was the one faking the accent. So it made sense.

Last summer I was home, bored, and flipping channels and a movie was just starting so I began to watch. Soon, I knew it was "Employee of the Month" but I continued to watch to see how much I could take. I got about an hour into it before I realized I had just spent an hour watching this movie. But then I decided I had come this far, might as well stick it out to the bitter end. Stupid, stupid, stupid movie with plot holes bigger than Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson and Andy Dick's lack of talent, combined. I got just enough out of it to not consider it a total waste of time.

The same can not be said for "Date Movie". I think this film holds the (lack of) distinction of being the only movie I have ever watched that I thought was a complete, total, absolute waste of my time (and I've seen Gigli!). I had to watch it; I could not believe it was as bad as I had heard. It wasn't - it was worse. I thought I might find a few funny jokes here and there. I didn't. And to make things worse - the supposed jokes, that weren't funny after 3 seconds, were stretched into 3 minute bits. This movie had no purpose. There wasn't a single thing in there that was original. There was no reason for it to be made. I am proud to say I learned my lesson and have steered clear from Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans. I will make sure to go see The Dark Knight again, or maybe Tropic Thunder, when Disaster Movie comes out. Why? To give money to any movie that is not the one by those responsible for the anal abortion that was Date Movie.

HoboCode saw Johhny Dangerously too!
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
01:03:24 PM
That was a funny bird.
Relax!
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
01:05:31 PM
Relax!!! I'm standing here with my dork in my hand!

That's not your dork. LOOK!

Johnny Dangerously
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
01:06:27 PM
One of the funniest movies ever made.
It's Fargin war!
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
01:06:48 PM
qouting Johnny Dangerously..awesome.
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
01:06:52 PM
I've never walked out of a movie
by Series7
Aug 18th, 2008
01:07:25 PM
But I've fallen asleep during a bunch of movies in theaters: MIB 2, Sahrah, Day After Tomorrow, xXx and Van Helsing to name a few. I usually finish movies I rent even if I fall asleep like 20 times but one movie I couldn't bother giving a second chance even though I really wanted to see it was Stranger Then Fiction, I just hated that movie couldn't give a shit that I slept through 20-30 minutes of it.
We are number 1....that seemed too easy.
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
01:07:38 PM
You fargin iceholes!
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
01:09:53 PM
Knock down that wall. Knock down that wall. And knock down that fargin wall!. KABOOM!
Speaking of Employee of the month
by Series7
Aug 18th, 2008
01:11:21 PM
Dane Cook has made a sequel to Good Luck Chuck, and it looks to be about just as bad! Why is it that when stand up comedians get popular they have to go out and make crap movies as many as possible?
o.k. what are the best DTV movies out there?
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
01:11:32 PM
Roman Moroni
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
01:11:36 PM
would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes... like yourselves.
One of my fave DTVs is
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
01:12:24 PM
Snow White: A Tale of Terror. Anyone else get a kick out of this one, with Sigourney Weaver as the dark queen?
Vern, How was Randy Couture?
by TELF
Aug 18th, 2008
01:16:38 PM
He made this just after he vacated the UFC HW title last year. It was a pretty big scandal for MMA fans. It's his first lead role too. Just wondering how he got on.
Arch Nemesis-- let me clarify....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
01:16:39 PM
why you are a cunt with a 5 O'clock shadow. I had no expectations going in. I can give a fuck about X Men. The first two were okay.....but as a whole the films are shit compared to the Fox cartoon. When I said it was one of the worst films of all time, I meant for the budget and caliber of people involved. I group films by budget really. I'm not going to be an ignorant cunt and compare Sci-Fi channels' Monster Ark to X Men 3. Those are two completely different classes of films. As far as a big budget film with know players involved....yes X Men 3 is one of the worst of those films ever made. Another would be Indy IV. There is nothing sweeping about that statement. Obviously Ed Wood, Sci-Fi channel directors, and a shitload of other hacks make films that are far worse than X3 or Indy IV, but considering the resources available.....are they really worse? My answer is no. And the fun factor is a big issue for me. X3 was like getting fuck teeth pulled. It was a nuisance of a chore to sit through. Cheap shit like Frankenfish (with a whopping budget of 3 million.....roughly 1/70th X3's budget can be far more interesting and a hell of a lot more fun.) If you are the sort of dull cow that will fork over $10 bucks to sit through shamefully horrid shit like X3 then thats your deal. Don't fucking tell me my expectations were too high, you know fuck about my expectations or my taste in film. Tonight, I suggest you go for a joy-ride while blasting Human League's "Don't You Want Me?" and plow your car head on into a brick wall. And don't bother with the seat-belt....the world is full of struggling AIDS patients, you won't be missed.
Big Jim --
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
01:17:46 PM
Its funny you sit through a Dane Cook film just to see how much you can take. You are a true masochist my friend.
DannyGlovers riled up. Fred getting out the popcorn!
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
01:21:57 PM
Hee hee.

Flame feeding Fred.

Fred fell asleep on MIB: 3
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
01:23:35 PM
Fred heard so much about how great it was. It was big disappointment to Fred.
Fred meant Mission Impossible 3
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
01:24:14 PM
You shouldn't kick me in the balls...
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
01:28:10 PM
My sister kicked me in the balls once....ONCE.
It's an 88 Magnum.
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
01:28:57 PM
It shoots through schools.
Freds
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
01:32:15 PM
Really? Man I thought MI:3 was great. I like how it is a pretty small intimate story if you think about it. PSH doesn't have 100 goons with machine guns....its really just a mind game between him and Ethan. And the whole elusive Rabbit's Foot thing-- I like that sort of shit where nobody has any idea what it really is. That whole film just felt much different than the standard Hollywood action film to me. It was a much different tone and approach, like the scene when Ethan goes into the heavily guarded building in China to get the Rabbit's Foot I believe-- and they go on and on about how crazy the security is and how many guys he will have to go through, and once he gets inside we don't see any of it. We cut to those two in the car having a personal conversation....and then Ethan says, "I got it...I'm comin' out!" or something like that and bursts through the window. Shit like that just felt fresh and different to me.
I say that dog is lower than a snake full of buckshot
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
01:34:18 PM
Can't get enough Foggy
I always confuse...
by Gilkuliehe
Aug 18th, 2008
01:36:44 PM
Chuck (or Charles) Russell with Russell Mulcahy, and funny enough the former directed THE ALREADY RISEN SCORPION KING. He (Chuck) also directed NIGHTMARE 3: DREAM WARRIORS and THE BLOB, which are good in my book, and ERASER and THE MASK, which are not.

The point is, Vern got me interested in looking for the killer pig movie and Ricochet...

And seriously fellas, what's with this "let's talk anything among us three or four guys and just post anything non-stop" thing? Is it the new thing? I don't think it's cool, but hell, I'm not any of you three or four guys so what do I know, right?

Funny shit is Johnny Dangerously
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
01:36:53 PM
When he is working at the pet store and has the price guns marking kittens.

Damn I need to rewatch that movie. Forgot how funny it was.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
01:37:35 PM
Was the reason Fred fell asleep. He is a usually a very good actor, but he felt the need to add pork products to his performance. Fred heard so much about how he would be the greatest screen villain since Lector - Fred greatly disappointed.
Films I slept through is a topic for the ages...
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
01:37:37 PM
...I nodded off during MIB2, Riddick, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and PotC2 to name a few.

Fred, save me some popcorn. Danny is in fine form today.

MI3
by Series7
Aug 18th, 2008
01:44:09 PM
I know nothing about the show, so I'm going off of what i know from the movies. So the big event scenes of the first two were how Sir Thomas Cruise broke into the buildings, and so for the third one they totally edited out that scene and just have him jumping out of a window. The whole trebuchet thing was cool, but I wanted to see how Tom got into the buildinig.
Riddick is a sci-fi materpiece.
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
01:45:00 PM
masterpiece.
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
01:45:18 PM
fammit.
The Women!
by Series7
Aug 18th, 2008
01:45:18 PM
Has anyone seen the TV spots for this total geekgasm! Oh man this looks fucking awesome!
Gilkuliehe
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
01:45:46 PM
There's actually close to a dozen of us but right now the others are MIA and we're just talking, dude. Most TBs flatline around the 130 post mark and that's when we swoop in and begin our chats. We're very respectful for the most part try to add something to AICN other that bickering about politics and religion.
You appear...
by ThereWolf
Aug 18th, 2008
01:46:15 PM
... to be pissing off the indigenous population of this TB.
Gilkuliehe
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
01:46:31 PM
Instead of being a prick and insulting us...you could join in on the conversation and have some fun during the work day as well. This is not an exclusive club....the only requirement is you have abnormally large testicles.

If it doesn't sound like this is for you then gladly....FUCK OFF.

the funny thing about Gilkuliehe
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
01:46:32 PM
is that he comes on here posts about Chuck Russell and Russell Mulcahy, a topic I covered in the same way, with more detail, about 40 or more posts ago, and then gripes about us again. That's twice now you have mentioned it.
seriously...join in G, we aren't completely
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
01:48:04 PM
off topic. If we didnt love b-movies, and at least root for DTV movies to be good, we wouldn't be here.
I agree Hobo....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
01:50:06 PM
Riddick is a great film. its an insane follow up to something as simple as Pitch Black. The design of the world is just fucking awesome. I remember thinking the desert planet with middle-eastern style structures reminded me a bit of Tatooine. And then I thought fuck....imagine if the prequels were more like Riddick-- the tone and the maturity of them I mean. That would have been fucking awesome.
I'm glad people actually enjoyed Riddick
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
01:51:08 PM
But I just couldn't find anything in the first 30 minutes to keep me awake. My friend elbowed me during the credits and I think I turned to him and said "That was the best sleep I ever paid money for."
The Women with Annette Benning and Meg Ryan?
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
01:54:19 PM
The cast looks MILF-a-riffic.
Add my voice to...
by ThereWolf
Aug 18th, 2008
01:54:23 PM
the Riddick love. I like the scene where that guy walks out into the sun, holds up his arm as if to ward off the light and then just dissolves. Makes me think of Batty from Blade Runner for some reason.
Hobo and Danny agree! Thank you Riddick!
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
01:54:37 PM
Outrunning the sun on Crematoria= silly, but awesome.
Also, loved the final shot of Chronicles..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
01:56:08 PM
it's major problem for me was the lame villains. Necromongers didnt really work for me.
the end of Riddick....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
01:57:05 PM
...is pure fucking magic. The way he just slouches into the throne all beat up and exhausted, and that massive crane pull back revealing his new kingdom. Amazing. I want a 3rd chapter in that story. Where the hell could it go? Perhaps another galaxy tries to invade and Riddick leads his people to war to defend themselves? What the hell would a war in that universe look like?
I didn't really like the main villian guy...
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Aug 18th, 2008
01:57:56 PM
but Urban and Thandie were bad ass.
Do I need to watch Riddick again?
by Hawaiian Organ Donor
Aug 18th, 2008
01:58:31 PM
It sure sounds like it. It better be good or I'm going to crack one off in your next package after a meal of Indian food.
Danny..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
01:58:38 PM
I always assumed that it would involve Riddick trying to take Kira to the Necroverse to revive her, and bring her back. In the meantime, it would allow him to learn more on his Furyan past, and come face to face to whatever the real force behind the Necromongers was.
DGDB
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
01:58:53 PM
Riddick is epic, has great action and characterization, and the ending in which Riddick takes over as leader is fucking great. I love his statue in the credits. "You keep what you kill."

There's so many greta moments though. Riddick killing the guy by driving the tea cup into his chest, and the nputting down a paper clip or whatever and everyone running away. Riddick killing the huge Necromonger i nthe beginning: "He was one my best men!" Riddick: "If you say so."

Vern, everyone else - the invisible Garfield has been done.
by Shan
Aug 18th, 2008
02:00:22 PM
www.garfieldminusgarfield.net

I thought it was actually quite clever and often works really well.

"Garfield Minus Garfield is a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb."

HOD..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
02:00:43 PM
to avoid having Red Cliff smell like digested chicken masala, I'll admit that I didn't think much of it the first time I saw it, and the second time I was only marginally more enthusiastic about it, but I DO think it had alot of cool stuff in it, and I would have watched a third. It was no Pitch Black, but it was a decent start to a bigger story.
Hobo...what was in the credits?
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
02:02:11 PM
what statue? must have missed that. Think it's time to pick up the "Riddick trilogy".
Hawaiian
by ThereWolf
Aug 18th, 2008
02:02:35 PM
What you're doing for us is above and beyond the call of duty.

Where do you buy your blank media, is it an online store? I'm in the UK but I don't see any reason why I wouldn't be able to log on to an online US store and send a load of blank media your way. I'd just need a delivery address.

I just wanna thank you properly and I don't know how to.

If there's one title I'd like to see it's Grave Of The Fireflies(?) Danny said it made him cry. If it made Danny cry that's a good enough recommendation for me.

Outrunning the sun.
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
02:04:01 PM
It was a great nod to Pitch Black. And the Necromonger design was shit but it was supposed to be. Riddick even makes fun of it when that one dude gives him a little tour of the palace. "Magnificent isn't it?" Riddick: "I might have gone a different way."
invisible garfield...Shan, that's pretty cool
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
02:04:11 PM
thanks for that link. It is pretty funny, and witty when done that way. I never considered that angle, save for briefly contemplating the fact that Garfield merely seems to "think" things as opposed to saying them, and yet John responds perfectly to it.
Just couldn't really get into Riddick
by ChittyChittyGangBang
Aug 18th, 2008
02:05:34 PM
I do admit that the settings were top notch, but I like Pitch Black way better.

Agreed that if Pitch Black had the production budget of Riddick...Damn that would have been even more impressive.

Jonah Echo
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
02:05:47 PM
As the credits role it pans back, maybe towards the end, and you see a bronze statue of Riddick posing in the throne chair like where the movie ended. It's sweet.
Hello ThereWolf
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
02:07:29 PM
Hee hee. Get's Fred every time

Indy IV made DannyGlovers cry too - but for a different reason Fred thinks!

Rise of a King
by Abominable Snowcone
Aug 18th, 2008
02:09:10 PM
Deflation of a Penis
If they did a third film...
by HoboCode
Aug 18th, 2008
02:10:04 PM
I'd want to know more about the Underverse. Is it real or are the Necromongers just falling for bullshit from the Lord Marshall who is the only person whose been there supposedly. He had some kind of power.
DGDB et al.
by Gilkuliehe
Aug 18th, 2008
02:10:13 PM
The closest thing to insult you, DGDB, was stating my opinion of your activity here being "not cool". If that made you angry enough to actually insult me and call me a prick, well... That's your thing, I guess.

Sorry I didn't read your post Jonah Echo, but seriously, you guys flood the TB in a way that it's easy to get lost, with many references to previous conversations and out of the blue subject changes. (Sorry again Danny but that sure feels like an exclusive club).

Anyhoo, my questions have been answered, thanks.

Hey Fred!
by ThereWolf
Aug 18th, 2008
02:11:22 PM
All's well in your world I trust. And do I detect a subtle liking for Foghorn Leghorn there.
Fred Agrees with ChittyChittyGangBang
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
02:11:44 PM
Riddick suffered from the 'bigger is better' premise (which it aint)and the same type of hubris that Matrix 2 and 3 had regarding the the characters and Religious meaning. Fred half expected to hear about Midichlorians.

But, it had some impressive fights and sets, and action, that Fred can not dismiss. But it is still inferior to Pitch Black.

Gilk...
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
02:12:58 PM
yea, that's sort of because some conversations keep going, due to a relatively large group now(it's def more than 4 or 5 people) sharing info and what not. But at the same time, we don't really want to overrun the TB. I'd much prefer a more streamlined integration.

Anyway Gilk, see anything good over the weekend?

Gilk..
by Jonah Echo
Aug 18th, 2008
02:15:36 PM
often, we end up coming to a TB after it as more or less dried up-these DTV or Twitch articles often have a short shelf life, but we caught this one while it was still going, and didn't mean to inundate it. With so many people in tow, it's like rolling up in someone's place uninvited, shaving the dog, raiding the fridge and clogging the toilet.
Hello Gilkuliehe
by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar
Aug 18th, 2008
02:17:11 PM
We are not an exclusive club. We are just movie loving geeks. We try an take a TB that is very low on the list - or off the list, and just chat about our favorite subjects. We are undermanned today, usually around 12 of us, but we always are looking to add new regulars. You would be more than welcome. This is a r